Monday, April 18, 2011

Do You Miss Being Single?

Hipster Party
 On our drive back from our mini-vacation in San Diego, Jimmy asked me if I missed being single. I responded with out hesitation, "I don't miss being single, but I miss some aspects of being single." 

When I first moved to LA, it worked.  Being single pushed me to meet new people and explore and experience new things with out the pressures of being tied down.  If I had moved to LA with a boyfriend, I'm pretty sure that my explorations would have been limited.

If you have a boyfriend, a large percentage of what you enjoy doing is cuddling.  Cuddling all day/night.

I elaborated to Jimmy, I missed dating, even if I didn't see initial potential, I would never refuse a date because I always got something out of it.  This is where Jimmy disagreed, "you mean you're using them."  I responded sharply - not like they're not getting anything out of it either.

Jimmy told me that he looks at dating in the long run, as an investment.  Why would he go on a date with someone he knew off the bat he was not compatible with?  It would be a waste of time.

I look at dating in the short run, it's never a waste of time.  It's company, it's entertainment, it's fun and I doesn't matter if sparks fly.  And even when I became boyfriends with Jimmy, I managed to squeeze one more "date" in with someone from OkCupid.  Because my definition of dating is skewed, it's flirtatious, not romantic. (Yeah, that didn't turn out well).  Anyway Jimmy and I concluded that I was that asshole that left someone crying after a nightclub because of mixed signals I was sending.

In some ways I miss being that asshole.  And I miss dealing with assholes - buying them Panda art when we were just fuck buddies.  Sleeping with friends. getting smothered by crazies.  Feeling confident.  Dating makes life interesting.  And the only people that got really hurt are the ones that automatically think - First Date = something serious.  No, idiot.  Even if he accepts a date, doesn't mean anything will become of it.  Anyway.

As my days in LA slow down and the novelty of living the "big life" dissipates, the need to really network and make new friends disappears.  I look forward to home cooked meals and leaving work early be with someone who I love with all of my heart.

Handsome boyfriend

I initially believed that I needed to be single to explore this city and have fun and this may have been true when I first got here.

But I stumbled upon something much better - someone to explore everything this city has to offer with - a companion.  We don't spend our days vegetating, rotting, domesticated.. we wake up and live (or so we try to).  So I don't really miss that aspect of being single because I'm achieving it everyday with Jimmy, my wonderful boyfriend. 

Jimmy told me, "why would I want to date around when I already knew that you are who I want to be with?" And that pretty much explains why we became boyfriends so quickly - he didn't have time to play around with my dating game bullshit.  "Take me or leave me," I chose the former because I agreed with what he said... I already knew how I felt about him.

This amazing feeling that Jimmy gives me is incomparable to the 'exhilaration' of the dating game.   LA has become my home and so has Jimmy.  

I think he’s a keeper :3


my blog friend thwany tagged me in the Versatile Blogger Award, and so here are 7 random facts about myself:

- I like handling the bill math at the end of a big group dinner
- I hate wasted food and always reinvent left overs
- I dislike wearing socks and wish I could wear flip flops all the time, especially in rain
- I have a low attention span that means I can't drive long distances, watch foreign fills or go to concerts
- I pretend that I'm a really good dancer/singer/actor but everyone around me knows otherwise
- If I don't blog/take pictures of events I feel like they never happened
- I would never live alone

the next 3 people i award and pass this onto is: room2046, keeptryan and ernasty

1 comment:

Gauss Jordan said...

Heh. I know what you mean. I miss some aspects of being in a relationship, but actually don't miss being in a relationship. When I had a BF, I missed some aspects of being single.