Sunday, November 29, 2009


It's good to do a Google search detox from time to time. Once again I discovered that my blog was linked searching my full name in quotes on google.

Now, I ain't no Tiggah Tigz exposing my junk, but there are some things that I write that I don't want to be associated with my full unique name.

I recommend that you spend time googling your name to see what pops up. Once you find something undesirable, you can submit a request to remove it from the search by visiting here:

But the change needs to be made from the source url first.

Why the paranoia? I'm just realizing that this is public space and we all need to be cautious.

In addition to being cautious, I also have removed a couple of entries... so if you want the uncensored versions I recommend subscribing ;] to my RSS feeds.

I guess the point is not to get BUSTED. A little exposure is good, but you don't want to be BUSTING at the seams GIRLLLLLL. Roll on!

Forgetting to be Thankful

This disconnect that I was feeling was unexpected, but I didn't mean to seem like I was ungrateful for being home. Maybe being home released negative feelings that I've had this passed year when I felt so aimless. And maybe I was disappointed when things didn't work out perfectly

Moreover I probably needed MORE time to catchup AND reconnect... and the short moments that I spent felt insufficient.

But these are the moments this weekend that I cherish and I hope that when I come home during Christmas I can appreciate the time I can spend with my Bay Area family.

-Hanging with my cousins
-Going to Applebees with Anhimals as a tradition
-Having Boba with XCIX
-Eating Pho with high school friends
-"Helping" Alysia bake cookies
-Playing with Aaron's nephew
-Catching up with Neil
-Seaing Sean Paul drunk at Brickx
-Calling/Chatting up with folks because we couldn't meet up

Top Two:
-Having Alysia's Mom, Aaron's Mom and my Grandpa's helper comment that my face was rounder
-Watching my Mom pig out at La Vics.

Thanks for everyone who reached out to see me. :] Happy Thanksgiving! Now get back to work!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Going Out on Tuesday

The Abbey - Nominated Best Gay Bar in the World by MTV's Logo
So how do they celebrate?

Free stoli from 9PM-Midnight. Happy Tuesday!

My friend took me to The Abbey, parking was a breeze and there was no line. It was crowded, but comfortable. I was surprised it wasn't more packed because of the free alcohol, but I guess it was a Tuesday I was introduced to some friends and surprise suprise they turned out to be folks I already knew from the bay. Ugh... let's continue to shrink the gay Asian world. The venue was crowded and of course there were needless muscley white go-go dancers. Blah... get out of the way... you pieces of meat!!

I had such a great time... bonded with some folks who worked in the same industry and planned a hotpot event with them. Got some numbers merely for networking and had a great buzz for the rest of the night.


After I had Pho in Korea Town. And I was so confused. Expecting to order in Vietnamese, I was interrupted by my friend who ordered Pho in KOREAN!!!!!!!!!

WTF. My people's food is being exploited!!

Did it taste different? Naw, it was still delicious and plenty of noodles were served, but I was still in shock when the only thing I can say in Vietnamese confidently was compromised because the waiter was the incorrect ethnicity. Blasphemy!!!!

But the thing is.. i think it would have been better as a Korean interpretation of Pho.... not some carbon copy... it could have used some Kim Chi or something. It's like plagiarizing. If you're going to copy the essay at least rearrange the words. Gosh.

Such a strange feeling.

I got home at 2AM and got to work at 8:50AM and jammed...

I am excited to come home this weekend and excited to see friends and family!!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Switching to Mac????

This is causing me a lot of stress. And with Black Friday/Cyber Monday coming up the pressure to buying a new computer at a great price is rising.

I have always been a PC user and this recent MAC campaign about Windows 7 has really affected me. Bottom line: I want something that lasts.

But why is the cost difference so substantial? For the cheapest Mac I would have to put out 1k. The PC that I'm considering is a Toshiba NB205 which is retailed at $375. 38% of the cost of a MAC!

I'm all getting my money's worth, but considering the difference, is it worth switching computers? My roommate is right, one of the biggest reasons consumers stick to PCs is that they are scared to switch and I'm one of them.

I'm also scared to put out 625 more dollars than I have to.
It's like saying that BMW is nice, but this Civic will do me just fine.

Should I take the plunge?


Last time I posted this on facebook and people went crazy with their response:

i just got a macbook yesterday!
save money, buy a cheaper PC when windows 7 comes out. its got some really good reviews.
you'll love the mac, don't worry.
Once you go mac, you won't go back and it's well worth it
MacBook Pro! I'll marry mine once Inanimate Object Marriage is legalized
listen to me! =P chatting/email/browsing pictures/stalking folks does not = macbook necessary... fix your carrrrrr/save money so you can upgrade it... think future! long term!!!
no. screw that. macs are pretty. DONT YOU WANNA BE PRETTY TOO?
From PC to a MAC? You'll never goooooooooo back.
I loveeee Macs.
Pro. You'll wish you switched years ago!
MAC! I ♥ Mine
....i am a PC girl all the way, i had a mac in college and HATED it, the macs are too idiot friendly so if you want to do anything yourself you cannot.VERY hard to transfer files/photos/music from mac/pc.
Mac pro! I love my computer it's awesome
Matt Shew
@ Jessica, I don't think Macs are idot friendly, Barack Obama and Al Gore are both mac users. Macs are just designed so that you don't hav eto think about using a computer. you can just get your task dome w/o having to fight the computer. the mac is actually built on unix one of the most advance and secure computer foundations out there. if you ... See Morewanted to do things in command line, you can do it from there. what couldn't you do on your mac, btw? i understand that there is some initial frustration for initial switchers, but once you get over that hump, it's smooth and happy sailing from there.

UGHHHHH.... I dont know I dont know I dont know!
I've been using this 5 year old Dell Inspiron and the fact that the speakers dont work, the CD drive doesnt work, the fan is busted doesn't bother me at all.

With that said.. maybe I should go with that Toshiba.... and my iPhone can serve all my "mac needs."


Monday, November 23, 2009

I Guess If You want to be Sexy, you Don't Smile with Teeth

My friend graciously found me a hair stylist that does house calls. In LA I don't know how to do "suberby things" like get a haircut, change my oil and shop at costco... so this house call was much appreciated.

I told the very attractive Asian hair stylist that he could what ever he wanted with my hair. He responded, "I don't want to waste your bangs, so I'm going to keep it and give you a very 'Mod' look." The result: Thick bangs, grown out faux hawk tail and clean sides. I stared at his tattoos and muscular arms as he cut away at my head.

"I have 3 cowlicks."
"I can work with cowlicks" he responded. We continued to make small talk and I found out that he used to be a stylist from San Jose. Awesome.

It was very rebellious to say the least. The response at work was really positive. I could also wear it up if I wanted to look taller:

And like dating ADD, I have hair style ADD and I tried something more adventurous: Curling my hair. Using butterfly clips I twisted my processed hair and left it in for 30 minutes too long.

The result: something 80's, something grungy, something border lining ugly and cool... but probably more ugly since the only one person at work said something while others ignored my cry for attention.

Thank you GeneticBoi for the awesome tutorial! I guess I left it in for too long and it wasn't as fluffy!

Tomorrow I'm gonna slick it back, like I did when I was in Chinatown. I'm thinking it would look good with a vest?

Cheers to not having boring spikes.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Work Keeps Me Busy I don't have much time to blog on the weekdays anymore.

Big project, small project, back burner project, decorate multiple cubes for people's birthday, Thanksgiving Potlock...clean up, set up... it has been endless. A part of my team was at the office until1:30AM the other day.

At least there was time for some Cirque du Soleil

No photography was allowed during the show so I took some at the beginning and end. It was amazing..

Especially the flexible people..yowzah!

Watching My Youth Fad Away

Last night I found myself among undergraduate gay Filipinos at a nightclub on the pier. As they bumped and grind, shook and shaked, touched... kisss... bent over... basically have sex on the dance floor to the tracks of Lady Gaga, I thought to myself- I'm not disgusted, but rather amazed because at one point this used to be me.

I joked to Ern. "OMG YOUTH, ENERGY!!!!" And it's true. Among these children I am an old man and the "body roll" that I was so pretentiously showing off to my office mates the other day did not come close to matching the rhythmic vibrations that resembled music video love making.

I haven't danced dirty in so long. I haven't shoved anyone against the wall and dancing innocently to the sounds of Rihanna in ages and it's reflecting how much older I've become. I was sad, but realistically thinking that once again it's something you don't return to. Like visiting campus... the strange feeling of, "I miss you... but what am I doing here?"

We have better things to do.


Before that I shopped, ate, watched Julie & Julia at the 2 dollar theatre and viewed an improv show with Alysia.

Check check check.

Julie and Julia is a great movie. I feel love with the husband who was uber sweet and selfless. I feel in love with Meryl Streep who is a phenomenal actress and I re-fell in love with food...

I was talking to Alysia about all the good food in Berkeley that I haven't tried. In college, eating well was low in priority. I must return to my college town and sample some flavors. But for now farmers market pizza and Birds rotisserie chicken will fill my stomach.

I'm exhausted.

Saturday, November 21, 2009


Somewhere in Hollywood Heights...

I found myself with charming people somewhere in the Hollywood hills. They were much older and established, yet behaved young and vibrant. I arrived late and dinner had already been served at this intimate party. Wine was scattered and cigarettes were shared. The view was breath taking and the residential street was secluded from the noise of Hollywood on Friday.

It felt... European. Women in loose clothing, men with facial hair, jazz in the background, laughter echoed. Topics of discussion revolved around being straight forward, pets and politics. "What's your favorite language?" I was asked.

"Ahh yes, French is also my favorite language, but as Americans we will never have the right pronunciation...same with reverse... 'Bonk' what the hell is a 'Bonk?'" Charming laughter followed.

"...what is a 'bonk?'" I asked naively.
"BANK!! It's how the French say bank and no one knows what they're talking about!" She sips her wine and smiles again contagiously.

At that moment, the smell of cigarettes that soaked the room did not bother me. I was used to brushing off cigarettes as needless cancer sticks, but at that moment I wanted to share a marlboro just so that I can have smoke rising from my fingers while I talked about the three sensitive topics that are usually avoided: Politics, religion and money. It would only be right... as the sounds of the saxophone leaked from their speakers.

I always thought that women who smoked were unattractive, but my beliefs were proven wrong at that moment because these women were sexy and alluring and the cigarette served as an essential prop to their seduction.

I graciously thanked the host who kissed me on the cheek, "anytime." And I drove to my next destination.

Somewhere in Chinatown...

I was invited to somewhere in Chinatown for a birthday at a nightclub. I almost killed people while inputting an address on my GPS on the 101 South. Initially I was going to get a cab so that I could get smashed, but I decided that I should save getting smashed for other events where my alcohol is paid for.

The club was in the middle of Chinatown. I felt like I was on the set of Rush Hour because the square was embellished with lanterns, lights, dragons and Chris Rock.

The birthday boy was my coworker and I loaded up on cheap alcohol until 11PM. Loose and ready to go, I found officemates and made small talk. "Do you dance?" I shouted over the hip hop. "a little."

I used my staple lines: "do you body roll?"
"no, show me"
I do my body roll and my officemates gasp, "that was amazing! Teach us." They were conservavtive Asians who've never moved their body so "sexually." *gasp*

I spent 10 minutes trying to teach, but really I was flirting because you can't teach a body roll in 10 minutes, you have to be trained by swimming the butterfly in high school.... loosening your abs until undulation comes naturally. "It looks like I'm dancing, but I'm actually doing crunches." This elicited a giggle. I'm so impressed with how alcohol allows me to communicate confidently.

I met some sexy Vietnamese girls outside while getting a bacon wrapped hotdog. "I love your outfit." And as if I lit her fire she smiled and expressed how I should meet her gay friend Steven who has a "great personality!!!" Apparently only gay guys compliment her outfits. And how interesting looking is this guy that his personality has to emphasized? I was very interested and exchanged numbers.

And of course someone was wearing my staple striped clubbing shirt. It's almost as common as converses. Too buzzed to be mortified... sort of.


Somewhere in Echo Park...

I invited some of my coworkers to my house for some after party and I made them my famous quesadilla which they devoured. We played some board games after they took the grand tour of my house. Shit.. I forgot to ask them to sign my guest book. And they left at 4:30AM when my roommate asked us to be quiet because he had work the next day.

I ripped off my clothes, didn't bother to brush my teeth and fell asleep in my Queen size bed...


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

While Music is Played

"Ko-Shu: Honey and pear nose. Aged 10 years while music is played"
I wonder if the drink would taste "classic" if Chopin was playing, "rustic" if Garth Brooks was playing or "slutty" if Britney was playing. Either way... I guess it's like tenderizing your meat, but instead it's stimulating your liquor.


This Cod was amazing
So what is "Peruvian Sushi." Basically it's citrus-y sushi with a ceviche twist. Delicious!


Wednesday thought:

I get more coworker to visits to my desk because I carry community hand sanitizer.


This passed Sunday I had brunch with some fabulous gay people

The dynamic was so interesting because there was so much wit as well as humorous sexual innuendo. It was like a group of gossipy women meets a group of horny men in the locker room. I guess that makes gay.

Some ideas stuck out during the fluid conversation amongst these "queens."

"Do you hug with genitalia?" I guess when you really embrace somethings gotta meet in the middle.


The idea of being Geographically Undesirable. I've said it before: gays will travel to see each other, but I guess I'm not much of a minority as I thought when I said that I don't believe in traveling.

"Geographically Undesirable." I like that term. Maybe that's why I'm excited about Grindr... especially in LA- it's such a chore to travel to another neighborhood. I can't wait to discover gays that are in proximity using that app. YAY more visitors to my home, let's have a movie nights and do things on the weekdays!


Sorry for the sporadic thoughts as of late. I haven't had cohesive thoughts in a while.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

5 Main Reasons for Getting an iPhone

Google Traffic

Can't wait until my contract ends in December so that I can get an iPhone. Is it ridiculous that Grindr is my #1 choice?

"Meet Mr.Right or Mr.Tonight!!" Shoot.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Not Compromising my Blog

With Crazy Aquarius admitting that he found my blog I realize there are a lot of things I want to write about because he is such a character. But as Debriefing the Boys puts it:

...every time I feel like sitting down to write something, which is often, I think about all the people who are reading it. And it's not that I'm becoming a more private person, or that the stakes are higher (for me). It's just that I don't feel like I'm in control of my story any longer. I always made calculated risks in what I wrote, because almost no story is JUST about me. There was always a slim chance that I'd offend somebody in real life. But lately, every time I make that calculation, it isn't worth the risk.


Anyway, if you're a new blogger starting out, my advice is this: NEVER reveal your identity. It'll be the death of your blog.
I guess letting you know who I am hasn't actually "killed my blog," but I know that I would be writing more interesting things if I was more anonymous. There is something about blogging that feels better than writing in a private diary. Your thoughts aren't thrown away into a book under your bed for no one to see when you blog. And I like knowing that my stories have some sort of value. Blogging liberates... this is my personal time.

So fuck it.

Crazy Aquarius asked me, "do you promise not to be scared if I tell you something?" This is how I responded, "NO! DONT TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" If someone is going to say, "promise not to be scared?" Don't you immediately go into panic room mode? I was prepared for the worst even though I insisted that he didn't say anything.... imagination ran wild: is he an alien? is he a long lost cousin? did he steal my underwear??????

As it turns out what he wanted to tell me was I remind him of his ex. Which wasn't scary at all. What was scary was that he told me that he really liked me. To this I responded, "NO! BAD!"

And with that he's been trying to set me up with his friends who he thinks I would adore based on how our stars and moons aligned.

Hmm. Sort of strange? Yeah. But the transparency is refreshing.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Transgendered Beauty Pageant

I love my roommate Ern. I love coming home and chatting and laughing and venting about dumb things. I'm thrilled that we are on the same wave length, with the same humor.... I love that his pursuit of happiness doesn't end with obstacles, but begins with options. In addition to training for a marathon he's expressed that he's happiest when he's dancing on stage. Despite full time work, he's managed to find time to dance in a couple of shows.

Somewhere in Hollywood, he performed a group number for a Transgendered beauty pageant. I was taken back at how elaborate the show was, how many supporters there were and how much time and effort these transgendered individuals put into their outfits:

These women with penises create such an illusion. There were many spectators in a huge venue that reminded me of more conventional pageants. It was over the top, it defined the word fabulous and it reminded me that there are hidden communities everywhere that don't stop at just ethnicity, but also other segments of individualism such as gender identification.

For the swim suit segment the MC tried to kill time, "are those bitches tucked in yet?!" I couldn't hold my laughter. Being able to tuck your penis and wear a bikini is a talent act in itself and I kept myself entertained by counting the contestants that failed.

I know I would make a hideous girl. And... I'm not into trying to make myself look fabulous. But it's cool to experience something a little different from your everyday and support a friend at the same time.


Drinking hot water instead of coffee or soda.
Taking vitamins everyday.
Using hand sanatizer.

I hope I don't get sick this season.

Can I get swine flu from eating the best pastrami sandwich in the world from Oinkster?

I'm loving this roommate bonding time. Cheers to homemade ketchup and eating a sandwich with more meat than bread.

Nom nom nom nom nom.

Sunday Thoughts

Moving Forward

It's been four months since working at my job and this passed week I had a couple of fire drills that have caused me to be very exhausted. The sort of exhausted where you just want to lay there and die and "I need a drink" is not a possible quick fix to how I was feeling.

The most exhausting was making a mistake that required me to come in on Sunday for coworkers to check my work. My coworker comforted me, "don't worry, shit happens." But I know that the mistakes that I make were never made by him when he was an assistant. I feel like I'm losing trust with every thing I do needing to be double checked. I feel like I'm an intern and I'm making intern mistakes.

I need to be more thorough. I feel like I'm not where I should be after working for four months. I want to be amazing, not just okay. And as every one on my team uses the line, "moving forward..." whenever I do something wrong I feel a chill down my spine... "fail, fail, fail."

I don't mind being a workaholic, I want to be good... I sound like such a newb at work life.

Not Better Than Anyone Else

Friday after a terrible day I work, I went to eat with a friend and his friends. When I got there, I was whiny because I couldn't find parking and I think it is ridiculous to do Valet for my truck. I was 2 inches from driving home, but my friend persuaded me to stay.

I was having an overpriced meal with a group of clean cut LA Asian Gays with perfect skin and 40+ dollar haircuts. Each one of them reminded me of someone from the bay. They were all very attractive, so pretty... but I'm not really interested in pretty. It's like looking at models in magazines- aside from the shapes and lines they create, there's no more substance than a clothes on hanger.

As I grabbed a dish and emptied it on my plate, I confessed that I hate wasted food and feared that the waiter would take it away. This elicited a response, "Balla on a budget baby, you go boy." To this I responded, "it's not being on a budget... it's the idea of wasting good food."

The boy who responded to me was very rude to the waiter at the beginning of the night, "you have to be aggressive if you want any service" he was demanding, I felt bad for the service.

I complimented another boy's blazer- it looked so good on his all American body. I waited for him to reveal the European brand that I would not recognize. To my shock he told me that he bought it at Goodwill and never buys any clothing over $30 in a neutral tone that wasn't embarrassed or pretentious. I talked to another boy who worked for a Cancer research company.

I realized at that point that while I label pretty boys of LA to nothing but plastic, that I am at fault for jumping to conclusion that all the apples in the barrel are inedible when indeed there are a couple of ones that are juicy, flavorful and delicious with cheese... in edition to being the perfect red.

It's interesting how acting "better than someone." Can come from all angles. Thinking you're better because you can afford things, better and entitled to immediate food service, better because you know gel works for your hair. But you can also think that you're better because you don't waste money on stupid things like valet, better because you don't waste food, better because you are thrifty.

And in the end... when I act "better" than someone who I define as plastic... I am no "better" than they are because I am judging them them same with my own definitions. And it's ironic that I avoid pretentious people... when by definition, I am being pretentious myself.

But I guess, it's a lesson. Even though they are pretty, dress well, etc etc... doesn't mean they are without substance.... and getting to know them instead of assuming is... better.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Crazy Aquarius found my blog despite chatting with him using my work SN AND giving him my professional email.


Ugh. This blog is too easy to find. .. blast.

Both him and the guy I dated are invited to a BBQ I'm having this Saturday themed, She-Wolf BBQ.

This should be good.

Stay tuned.


Jawbone + LA traffic = frequent calls to mom and dad. *missing home*


Due to my lack of ability to remember stories and plot lines, I usually keep my attention to one show per season. Usually it's SYTYCD, but this fall, it has been Glee. So witty. Love.

I Would Make a good Lesbian

I feel like a lot of the haircuts I get make me look a little lesbian. My roommate has clippers and I took the liberty of giving myself a haircut. I figure, I'm saving money... and a little unevenness is... charming(?).

My bangs are really intense right now... and though at times, I don't look like I've bathed, I feel a clean cut look is so boring.

Do you see the highlights? It's left over from my Giraffe Mohawk Sun-In i used for Halloween. No flat iron for this diva, my hair is straighter than most.

Should I go clean? I feel like people are used to the shaggy unkempt topho. Meh.

So much Letopho.. that's okay, it's GPOYW!!