Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Exciting Things to Do in San Jose

I was bored with my high school friends and Smyr said, "let's SELL Hot CocoA on the street!"

So.. we did.

We found two card tables and I made a sign. Diana mixed the hot cocoa and we set up on the corner in my neighborhood. Even though we were waving down cars.


Do we look shady? Oh come on people, it's only 25 cents! Maybe we should have sung carols. Or maybe they thought it was a needle exchange. It was really dark.

Oh the holidays. We should have set up next to the ice skating rink downtown.


Mmm Falafel Drive-In

Over Priced Holiday Ice Skating.

Yes, I Am a Homosexual

"Yo, Gay Club. You IN?"
"...hmm.. yeah okay, I'll pick you up in a few"

Smyr is my straight homeboy. I was surprised he was so willing to hit Hunter's with me so I bought him two drinks. I rewarded the straight man for being open minded. And to relieve him of so much suffering when girls take advantage of his wallet and run away without even dancing with him.

As I sat there waiting to be picked up, I made myself a Gin and Sprite. Smyr called me, "I'm here!" I ask him, "Am I an alcoholic?" Smyr says, "no, you don't go out often enough."



I complimented the girl next to me at the bar "I like your necklace!" I picked it up from her chest and she smiled. She proceeded to tell me about her friend's Cajun restaurant and of course, I gotta check that out.

I danced with another girl who had perfect rhythm. I mean it was like a the missing puzzle piece from my body. "Girl, are you trying to convert me... cuz it's working!" I realize how smooth I am talking to women. And I'm extra sassy.

There was this group of Asian guys that I wanted to talk to, but I got HELLA shy. Dang. But luckily I knew one of them... they were dancing in a circle and I felt like a creepy drunk dude latching on like an appendage.


Time for Cinebar... and there he was.
A boy.

Not just any boy, but with my beer goggles, a tall, handsome boy at the bar. He was with his homies.

"Smyr... look at him! He's so HOT!"
"Um.. he's aiight."
"I gotta talk to him"
"DUDE! He's so straight! And he's with his crew, what would you even say."
"I'd say, Yo, I wanna suck your cock." Okay, I was drunk, Cinebar was a Monday empty and I'm a loud person in general. The boy looks in our direction and dashes to the restroom. Smyr started to laugh.

When he came back, I sat at the bar next to him. Okay more like I started to rub my arm up against him. We made eye contact about 3 times before he said something. Which is good, because I would have been like. "DURRRCOCKDURRRYOULOOKGOODO"

He said, "whatchu drinking?" His homies started to laugh uncontrollably, I think he was dared to talk to me.
"Kettle Vodka"
"Oh shit, I mean Kettle Sprite" I was soo giddy, I was retarded
"Whered you guys just come from?"
"Isn't that a homosexual club?"
"Yo.. are YOU a homosexual?"
"Oh that's cool, we are not homosexuals."

I was humored, "a homosexual," I don't know if he was trying to be P.C. or funny or was imitating what he heard from his priest. It's like saying Caucasian.. it does't exactly flow naturally across your tongue.

I continued to flirt despite that. And then he bounced. I needed 10 more minutes to get his number. I should have slipped him mine. I'm SOOOOOOO disappointed in myself. God, all that wasted smooth talking on girls.


Next time, I ask for their name FIRST. In the words of Mama-san "I am bisexual, I like both gay men and straight men."

Monday, December 29, 2008

Winter Weakness

"Bring your toothbrush, I'm picking you up." It was 1:30am and I was buzzed. After we got ready for bed, he basically pushed me in the shower.

I really wanted to go on a date at least... but he declined it for "another time." I found out later, the boy "hates games.. if [he] likes it, [he] goes for it." Literally, apparently.

I hung out with him a couple of days before, he stole a kiss after I flirtatiously nibbled on his ear. I guess I should have known he was stripped of emotions when his tongue was already out.


It was interesting. Not much was done... I kept respectable boundaries (I don't just give it all away if that's what ya'll be thinking), nothing needed to be cleaned. He had a nice body to touch and he was a good kisser. I wasn't that horny. And cuddling didn't feel right. It was empty. Empty because it was sexual... not friendly, not romantic... just SEXUAL. This wasn't what I wanted; I knew what I was getting myself into. I just wanted some holiday company. Just like EVERYONE ELSE! And this wasn't it, but it was fun.


The morning after I had terrible gas. The bathroom was about 2 yards from the bed. I couldn't hold it in. I went in and flicked the light, praying that there was some sort of fan to drown out my sounds. Nope. I grabbed a used towel and stuff it between the door and the floor so that he would less likely to hear me.

I let is out slowly.

....it seemed to be a Survivor Challenge, I was sweating bullets... and instead of a quiet hiss.. it was an orchestra playing the 1812 Overture with Canons! FOR 3 MINUTES!!!!!!!

Ladies, be careful with what you eat before you sleep over.

When I came out, I was reminded at how quiet his room was, he had definitely heard everything. Not only did I sink battleships, I probably killed a couple of whales.


Holiday company... what is that? Well, I want to hold hands with someone ice skating, watch a movie under a blanket, introduce them to my friends, smother them in gifts and kisses. Take hundreds of pictures with them. etc etc.

As I scroll my contacts, I can't imagine doing that with ANYONE... except one person. And all I can do is text them a 'Merry Christmas' because I'm tired of being so weak. I wonder, DO they even think about me? I convince myself that they don't, but I wish they did. Can I see you one more time?



"Don't tell anyone. My sex life is on the down low." Of course. The boy was mildly upset that I had already told Joe about him. Would I "meet up with him again?" Maybe. but unlike what my mom believes, I don't need "release" because I can take care of that shit by myself, shoot. But if I hold my OWN hand ice skating, I'd go in a circle!


Sunday, December 28, 2008


Im buzzed for the second night in a row. I want nachos.

And um.. Kettle Sprite is perfect.

And I molested some straight boys at the Loft.

Annnddddd... a boy is coming over to pick me up.. OOO he calll ing

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Haircut for the Holidays

I got a recommendation for a hair salon via email from one of my blog readers!

Why not? Though the place was a ridiculous 30 bucks, I felt like I needed to pamper myself. The place was called Mitri's near Valley Fair and I must say, I feel pretty cute with a nice styled cut.

Mark and Tony are two Vietnamese guys that have great reviews on yelp. Particularly for men and Asians. OMG, I'm Both!

I sat in the chair and said, "make me look nice." He looked at my face and went to work without hesitation after a nice shampoo and massage with his man hands! mmmmm. This, my friends, was a professional. I love getting my hair cut with thinning sheers and a razor blade. I hate clippers. And Tony knew it without having to ask.

30 bucks is a bit much for a haircut... I'd probably return every.. other month? LOL. I guess you get what you pay for.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Amateur Alcoholic?

Alysia told me that I was an alcoholic because I "drink too much too often" and that I need to "learn how to have fun being sober."

All I gots to say is... "I BEEEEEGGGGG TO DIFFFA!"

I have too much fun being sober, so much fun that people think I'm drunk!


Last night I drank a lot and threw up a little. But it was smooth.


Smyr was buying us AMFs, I know... we all felt too predictable. The ominous guy with a 6 month beard next to smyr told him, "that's Amateur shit." Excuse me? An Adios Motha Fucka is amateur?! "Well yeah, it's blue for god's sake."

Smyr defended himself. "I've heard all my guy friends call me pussyshit for drinking this stuff because it's a pretty color, but what's the alternative? BEER? Please I want to get fucked up"

The anti-santa explained, "all that sugar, all that mystery alcohol, tell me it doesn't make you feel like shit the next morning. You know your body, you know what alcohol it likes. A real alcoholic would merely order their alcohol with their favorite chaser... mine was Kettle and Sprite."

Then I thought about Caitlin: Blue Berry Stoli and Sprite is what she would always order. Ahh.. Now she was a REAL alcoholic.

So instead of sitting there thinking... "Tokyo tea, long island, AMF, LC, red headed slut?!? scoobie snack...sugars, mysteries, colors...thizz face like we smell some piss bad alcohol" why don't we get to the point with out the "empty calories and terrible hang overs?

I guess, now I need to decide what makes me feel just right...


So I sandwiched my colorful poisons with a costco polish dog, burnt bacon wrapped dates for dinner and ended the night with some "Sampler Trio" at Jack-In-the-Box... talk about killing your body.

Thursday, December 25, 2008


MoNeil's Taco Night was FUN!

The Boys exchanged gifts!

I got Joe an Asian buckwheat pillow, Mony a cute lion stuffed animal and Szeto got Paul Frank socks with lightning bolts. I tried REALLY hard to pay attention.. because if you hang out with your friends enough you hear them say, "OOOO THAT'S COOL! I WANT THAT!" etc etc.

Szeto got me a Ben Sherman Jacket!!!!! He remembered I like that brand! (but own nothing from there)
Joe got us Tickets to iFLY! - Indoor Sky Diving. HOLY SHIT! I CANT FUCKING WAIT!.

BTW, Neil is a DIVA


ANH and her FACE!

It's Mony's Christmas, house warming, good bye party

I know, we're confused too.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


High school friends, 6th Annual Christmas Party and RENO!!!!

Cheers from our SUITE SAUNA!

What a brilliant idea! Every year someone different hosts it and this year Aaron HELLA hooked it up. His mom- VIP and well known at Reno casinos got us a suite, bottle service and a buffet breakfast!

Yeah... I felt like paparazzi taking this picture outside of In&Out in the middle of now where.

When we got there, we found Alysia dead on the couch. She threw up ALL day, but she didn't let that ruin the adventure! She came to SKI!

Awww, Secret Santa: Smyr got me this wonderful book about a materialistic giraffe for me to read to my KIDS one day! And Diana made me that green Giraffe ShirT!


We sent out an editable wish list and the everyone was happy! LOL! The white elephant was themed: "Things to do now." One of them was a face mask! So Diana and Sandy became geisha. "FETCH ME MY HOT COCO!"


OFF to the slopes in Boreal! It was perfect! Not crowded, sunny! I am officially a skiier.

While Alysia carved the mountain, Caitlin and I ate the snow. And one of my wipe outs was described as glorious! White cloud, limbs every where and my skis/poles yards away from my smashed body! Man, I dont' know how to control my speed so I seriously SHOT down the mountain like a bullet thinking to myself... "come on.. you can make it!" Psyching myself up because you "can't fall" if you lean forward, you just run into things.

Alysia SOMEHOW managed to get stuck on the ski lift and ended up going back down on the mountain because it was too late for her to get off.. WHO DOES THAT?! Actually, I left my phone on the ski lift... so I'm not any better. LOL! I'm so lucky someone turned it in!

Damaged and Tired!

It's funny, people treat snowboarding and skiing like ANYONE can do it.. I beg to differ, it requires skill.


We prepartied playing "Fuck the Dealer!" Caitlin was best at teaching this game! If you draw a King you also make a rule. Two rules that stuck out: 1. you have to nuzzle the person to your right every time you drink. 2. You have to compliment someone in the room every time you drink.

HAHA, my friends DEFINE wholesome!

RENO is a strange place. A lot of weird people, but cha know what?! We partied anyway! BOTTLE/TABLE SERVICE! Lots of Cougars! Watch out! And Caitlin managed to look hot as usual on the dance floor despite her ski injury!

That night.. Aaron passed out and Smyr and I wanted to put him in the hallway or make him sleep in the sauna... but instead I just swapped his socks with something more glittery. Aw, we are too nice to each other.

Caitlin's PJ pants went missing. They were her favorite so she filed a report. They made her write and essay and take a mug shot. Geez.

Diana pulled the stops and put on chains... it was so stressful!
I gained some Man-points when I managed to undo the chains laying on my back! GRUNT!

At one point the traffic was at a dead stop, so we danced on the highway! I was about to pull out some saucers to slide along the highway, but then traffic started again! I couldn't close the door to the minivan because it was automatic. So we rolled down the highway with the sliding door open until I pushed hard enough. The other car yelled at us saying that door was open... as IF we didn't notice!
Aaron's parents are wonderful. His mom introduced us as her "other children!" I love having multiple parents!

I've noticed that a lot of people get a little depressed during the holidays. Lonely... sad... cold... mainly because they lack a significant other. I really do wish I had that ONE person that I can pour my heart out to and find the perfect gift for, to watch their eyes light up when they unwrap it and hold them tight to keep them warm-- take pictures etc. But... there are a lot of things that I already have: good friends and family. And I'm happy to be alive... and colorful.

Merry Christmas Everyone.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Decorate Your Home

Last night my friends and I drove around a neighborhood elaborately decorated in Christmas lights.

It was wet, cold and dark... but despite all of that I felt wonderful. What an amazing tradition. I began to understand WHY people decorate their houses homes. It's to remind ourselves that even when things aren't perfect there are still a lot of things in our lives that we have that needs to be appreciated.

I just came back from an amazing Ski trip with my High school friends. This is our 6th year celebrating Christmas together. Despite our busy lives, our different interests we come together and manage to really remind ourselves that we define family.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

I Abuse Public Transportation

I ALWAYS pay for my light rail ticket.

Unlike the BART, the South Bay VTA Light rail is based on an honor system. You buy a ticket and then you hop on and sometimes someone checks you, but more than likely there is no one there. People NEVER get caught... or at least I thought.

I take the light rail to the law firm, the place I've been killing time at, and I thought to myself: why not save a quarter and buy a youth ticket each time? Plus I'm Asian and I could probably pull off "YOUTH" 5-17 since I've been mistaken for a Freshman in HIGH SCHOOL before.

Today... no such luck. I should have gotten off when I saw the fare checker get on, but I guess I wanted to test my theory. I wanted to see how much of the "holiday" spirit he was in. I wanted to see if the people who work for public transportation were lazy. I wanted to see if I could pass as YOUTH.

Nope.. this guy seemed to have INVENTED the fare-checking position. "You don't LOOK like youth" he began to lecture me and take my name down. I didn't feel like lying or fighting or negotiating, "I just wanted to save a quarter."

I got a "warning," but not really a warning. I was actually put on the Light Rail SHIT LIST. He showed me this document which probably had a 1000 names in which a "warning" was no longer an option for them and that my fine would have probably be $900 the next time I try to "save a quarter." My info was taken down and basically, I was humiliated as he kept talking about morals and made me buy an adult ticket... this and that.

That's just fine. I'm already on Santa Clara's reckless driving list, just add me to the public transportation abusers list as well.

What's next? Should I refuse to turn in my library book on time?! *GASP!* I'm such a rebel. And nguy hiểm is my middle name.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Aussiebum Causes a Stir in Vietnam

Two things I love: Nice Underwear and Vietnam... let's see what happens when you put the two together!


The people FREAK when he drops his pants and the ignorant producer called Vietnam a "Muslim Country!" HAHAHA OMG. Thanks OHLALA Mag!

Your Boyfriend should be your Best Friend

Chris (my ex) once told me that he believes that your boyfriend should be your best friend. I remember the day when he told me that he considered me his best friend, but didn't want to say it until that point. I remembered how happy I was to hear it. And I'm amused at myself and I'm sure Chris will be too that I actually remembered something substantial that he said.

It's no secret that I considered MoAny my best friend... enough that people thought that we were dating. But the day has come that he had found a new best friend... a better best friend. A boyfriend.

And though I seem to be okay and whatever about it... it makes me sad to have lost someone that I was once really close to. But I remind myself that I hurt him immensely and that distance... is the best for everyone.


I told MoAny this: "It's obvious that we are no longer each others priorities" when he was mildly upset that I wouldn't cancel my jogging to see him for dinner.

And I said this: "I'm glad to have you as a friend... even if it not a best friend" when I realized that he still cared to see me once in a while... if not everyday like before.


I agree with Chris, your boyfriend should be your best friend. But to me, your best friend doesn't have have to be your boyfriend... and you run into complications when your best friend gets a boyfriend... because boyfriends ruin everything.

...but MoAny definitely deserves to be happy. Just like anyone else.

Ugh, I miss U.

Work Out - Buddy

A friend from the OC came to visit me on his bay area ritual. He drove 30 miles to pick me up at 11:00pm to take me to 24HR Fitness.

He taught me how to bulk up. "You have a nice chest, but your arms could be bigger." His arms were massive. "It has to hurt if you want to grow." I did three chest workouts, triceps and biceps until I was grunting like a man fixing his car. "See, you're bigger already." But I was busy scoping out the 11 o'clock crowd... wow. hot boys everywhere.

I invited him over for some after workout "protein shake."

I asked him if he wanted to spend the night. "Is that a good idea?" To me, it was fine. I think he was asking himself if it was a good idea.

I sort of wanted to mess around, I knew he did too. In my mind, I wanted to push him against the wall and go at it like sweaty animals who JUST came back from the gym. But I decided not to be so aggressive. I was turning myself off at how "planned" this was. Ugh. So I played it cool.

We offered each other back massages cuz we were you know... tense. And then cuddled. "I could be your cuddle buddy" PERFECT, because that's all I needed. "I like you Chris." Good lord, why!?! "Because you're you." ... This weather is definitely making gay people crazy.

We messed around a little (not platonic cuddling -.- blah I keep proving myself wrong), mutually resistant to kissing (as if it were our only hookup rule)... but he wouldn't let me fall asleep. I looked at his face... he was gazing. "Stop it... I know that look." And I began to worry.

He left at 3am. He didn't want to stay over for some reason that I couldn't figure out. Maybe because he didn't want to say hi to my parents in the morning before work.


...and on Sunday he goes back to the OC as if nothing happened.

Was I "dating" this guy? I mean we had lunch together... he's obviously interested me and I let him pursue his interests with only slight moral hesitation. In a sense was I using him? By letting him do things that he 'wanted' to do... by not stopping him?

Or was I just 'getting to know him'... 'giving him a chance' ... 'giving MYSELF a chance' to like him back?

But I'm pretty sure we're on the same page. I should be like Mr.HighEnergyMusic and text-greet him with a "GOOD MORNING GOOD FRIEND!"

"I like being a relationship... dating on the other hand, is stressful and tiresome," said one of the gays afflicted by this weather.

It's Winter... and the Gays are Cold and Crazy.


By the way, I am witness of a strange love dating triangle... and I can't help but instigate.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Hairchive: The Roll Out of Bed

This is what I look like, undid. Showered the night before so my hair stands up.. haven't shaved in a day or two and disgruntled because my phone has been lost for one week.

Yeah, imagine waking up next to THAT!


Off the Grid
So I lost my phone after the Lady Gaga thing. I know it's just misplaced in some corner... I haven't gone crazy, like some other folks would... but it's a convenience that's tough to live without!

Blah- Im sad, I lost my text messages and notes that have quotes and movie recommendations! But I'm proud that I am able to go on with my day without having to be so dependent on an electronic.

Woot.. but a week is long enough!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Circus Dance in the Shower

I stole this from Luuworld

Dang... I dance in my room... maybe I should try dancing in the shower too!
... ...


OMG. Watch the END! HAHA!

Platonic Cuddling? I Stand Alone.

It's funny.

You made out with ____ and ____ and _____ and ____ at DRAGON!?

Oh.. no big deal.

Or my favorite: "I was so drunk, I don't remember HOW I got these two hickeys on my neck!"


But NO ONE will agree that cuddling can be platonic. I stand alone. Because making out at Dragon is meaningless and holding someone while you sleep is meaningful...


Okay. Now that I'm typing this out maybe my unconventional way of thinking sounds a bit flawed. Is cuddling really "boyfriend territory?" And is it wrong that I don't think it is?


"Chris, you're so affectionate... there's nothing special."
Well I begggg to diffah! Kissing is special. I have yet to makeout with someone just cuz I was dru.... wait.. shit. okay. But I only do that with Straight people.

Maybe I DO have things reversed.


I dunno, if I'm with friends watching a movie, I wouldn't think anything of snuggling up against them. And if we shared a bed... I'm putting my arm around you. (Not dry humping you, not making out with you.. not reaching into your pants. I am giving you an 8 hour horizontal hug)

Maybe because I'm separating being affectionate from being intimate... I dunno.. what do you think? Is there something wrong with a giraffe that likes to nuzzle??

... they have such LONNGG necks.

(This weather has definitely made me Crazy)


I had a dream that someone recorded me having sex with a girl and posted it on the internet.

I was devastated.

I hate having straight-curious dreams.


So my friend is depressed about his relationship or whatever is left of it. And he told me that he just needed to feel pain and let it naturally happen and not suppress.

To this I responded, "that makes sense.. okay.. CRY BITCH, CRY!"

I hope humor helps him heal.. .. ..... ..


So... um Mr.GoodDancer got scared that I kept complimenting his dance moves. And Mr.HighEnergyMusic likes to talk to me about life... but keeps reminding me that we're "good friends" like every second of our conversation. "yeah...I really like running marathons... what do you like doing 'good friend'? Oh that's cool, you're such an interesting 'good friend'! Aww.. what a 'good friend' thing of you to say!"


So I'm going to try something completely different and start dating girls! Because you know.. it's a choice and I choose girls.

I think i just threw up a little.


Mr.Ho is attracted to Mr.Demon, but Mr.Ho is flirting with Mr.Worthy. Mr.Ho asked me which one he should date. I responded, BOTH of them at the same time... but only because I know that Mr.Demon and Mr.Worthy made out with each other and I wanted to see drama unravel in front of me.

I am... a terrible person.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Jack London & NCS last Saturday!

Ugh.. All I do is shop for others. It's so difficult. JK

Interesting things at the Great Mall: A manikin that looks like it's trying to fart after eating Indian Food and a random Asian guy on a Gap Ad! Probably only found in Milpitas GAPs.

Then off to Jack London Square in Oaktown!
We had some more ethnic food. This time it was the ethnicity, BLACK!
Yeah! Everett & Jones Barbecue! We demolished that shit... mmm Candied Yams and Colligreens. I highly recommend this place. Lots of famous black folks have visited! Usher, John Legend, Martin Luther King... you know!

mmmMmmm MORE FoooOOOD


Then the Boys went EXPLORING... Look at that Sassy hip on Szeto!


Now I know what happened to all the white tigers!


My two favorite Katies.
Soran and Hip Hop was soooo much fun and Monologues were also inspring. I <3 CULTURE!