Make A Wish

Today is my dad's 62nd birthday.

I almost forgot to call him, but my brother sent me a text.  I sent him an early birthday gift a while back, so on the actual day it slipped my mind.

My brother sent me a video of my dad blowing out a candle during dinner in San Jose.  You can see him taking the time to make a wish.  I don't know what he wished for, but I imagine it to be something related to family, health and happiness.

I was going through some texts and found one I sent to Kevin reminding him to get a birthday dessert for Huan during his birthday dinner a few weeks back.  I was being type A and assuming that Kevin would forget his boyfriend duties.  I took the liberty to send obnoxious texts

 For a while I didn't understand why I was so obsessive about "properly celebrating a birthday" during a dinner.  I had always told people that if you don't blow something out, it's just another dinner outing with friends.  We eat out so often that the only way to make it special is by sneaking to the restroom to and make the server rummage for candles and then making everyone sing awkwardly in public and embarrassing the birthday person.  It just HAS to be like that whether the birthday person likes it or not.

Watching this video made me realize that I get it from my dad.  He's sentimental.  He's selfless.  And for the one meal that meant to be for him, he makes sure to make a wish to be thankful for the gifts that life has given him.  He makes sure that for every one of my birthdays I'm at least given a card to make me feel special and loved.  Maybe that's why candle blowing is so important to me.  Because, simply, that's how I was raised: believing that making people feel special is important.

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A close friend of mine told me that he made his boyfriend cry when he presented a one year anniversary gift.  It was a photo book.  It made me think about how lonely it could being gay.  How hard dating can be.  How selfish and guarded and difficult gay men are.  And rightfully so because growing up gay really fucked with us.   To be able to find a partner that loves you, sacrifices for you, matches you and appreciates you is worth crying about.  I feel like it only gets harder the older we get because we become used to just dating ourselves that we forget how to find room for others.  I have so many single friends that it makes me wonder if most of them have given up on finding a partner and living single is just the life that they've accepted and adapted to.  After all, finding a soulmate to marry is a hetero norm... and why does it have to be a thing?  And that growing old doesn't have to be lonely when you have your chosen family by your side. 

If anything RAGE can turn into the Retired Asian Gay Enclave. 
It's 70+ and half off Ensure powder drinks before 9PM.

69 Cents

I really don't give a shit.  And I find creative ways to entertain myself.  So back in 2014, I was browsing the social feed of venmo to see where my friends were having dinner without me and paying each other back.  I noticed this guy who I thought was pretty cute and interesting based on his ... other payments.  We had one mutual friend.

So like any self respecting gaysian thirsty for friendship, I decided to send him a payment of $0.69 with a few fun emojis.  I never heard from him and just left it as a funny story, making my friends feel uncomfortable that I actually did something like that.  But whatever, this guy was in New York and he took my money.

Fast forward 3 years later to my Tokyo trip with my family in 2018.  I was dying for something that wasn't my family and I found myself at a gay bar.  In the sea of gays I see him and somehow remember his first name.   I never remember names especially this one since I've always referred to him as 69 cents.  I only had two drinks in me, but in addition to desperation for a familiar face I shouted his name.

He didn't hear me and walked on.  So... like a lion to a gazelle, I chased after him. 
"Is your name Jun?!"  I was super excited.  The gears in my psychotic mind were turning.
"yeah.. um... "
"you don't know me, but we have a mutual friend!  How are you?  What are you doing here?"  I talked to him like we had known each other for ages and he followed along.

He told me about quitting his job, how he's been traveling for months.  I think seeing another American was refreshing for him... and then he disappeared after 5 minutes.  That was just the right amount of time to make me feel better and less lost in a foreign place.  I was so exhausted with my family that anything that felt like home aka - gaysian-American, felt nice.

Obviously, I didn't mention the $0.69 part.  I'm sure he knew, but wanted to make myself seem as normal as possible.  Which I thought I was pretty successful in doing.

I send this picture to our mutual friend who was aghast that we "ran into each other."  More like I ran at him.  He then shared his chat with 69 cents.

Glad to see that the story matched up.  But then I noticed that our mutual friend covered some of the text previously.  I can only imagine what was censored.  But you know what... I don't give a fuck.  I'm just here to make people feel uncomfortable while I laugh at myself at my ridiculousness.

How to Find Random Gaysians Online... and Creep on Digital Strangers

The internet makes it too easy to find people.  Just need a first name and you can really go hunting especially gay people.  Why?  Because we're narcissists and need to show the world that we're doing okay by checking in, by oversharing, by posting constantly.

A quick glance at an instagram geo hashtag and you'll find a gay sprinkled in the mix.   But you can also do the reverse if you're looking to "discover."

Tonight's adventure starts on YouTube.

1. Start with popular, but not viral LGBT video on YouTube. Brian Jordan's Gender Fluid Fried video is my current choice.

2.  Scroll the comments and find that gaysian thumbnail.  OH hayyyyyy.

3. Dig into their social media and subscriber list.  Oooo. Cultured.  I like that.

4. Slide into their DMs.  I've decided to go with, "Wow! I've always wanted to go to Italy!"

Bam.  New gaysian friend.

"But Chris, how do you do this without coming off creepy?"

Hate to tell you, but... I'm creepy... and you can be creepy too.  The end.