Thursday, April 15, 2010

Driving to See a Boy

Last night I drove to Huntington Beach to see a boy from the OC.

I thought to myself- man, driving all hours of the night just so that I could cuddle with someone, to feel good, to feel wanted... gays waste so much gas to achieve affirmation. Folks in the bay.. it's like driving from South San Jose to San Francisco (oh wait, Yallz do it on the daily.)

A couple of weeks ago I was at the flea market and I saw this booth that had Banksy art painted on a canvas. It was one of those gifts that you had to buy for someone because you knew they would love it. My friends told me not to buy it... but I had to. The boy from the OC's favorite animal painted in his favorite color on an art piece for his new room that he just moved into...

I didn't want him to think that I liked him too much because when you give attention too early, too easily it is taken for granted. That's the whole game right? But I enjoy buying things for boys that I like...

I handed it to him when I arrived and he loved it. I should have written something corny on the back, but didn't. He kissed me for the gift and we cuddled in his bed. He silences me... I find myself struggling to talk naturally around him for some reason.

Initial Coffee Date - Kiss
Last night was the fourth time I saw him...

I was surprised we went that far... but it felt right. My heart was racing right after... it's been so long since I've felt so in sync with someone in bed.

I didn't sleep well because of a crick in my neck, I was also cold... He said a couple of things that struck a chord... and made me wonder, am I special?? Though I don't feel very special.

I woke up with him at 6AM to leave for work in LA and to arrive by 9AM. I thought I allotted myself more than enough time and yet I found myself in traffic. I was stuck for 30 minutes going no where. How do people do this?

He's busy, I'm busy, we are geographically undesirable from one another... but I feel like we are on the same page. I'm happy that he contacted me after we had initially messed around... so that we could develop a relationship as fuck friends, casual dating, something more? who knows, who cares?

Because so many jerks out there leave you after they get what they want. Which is bullshit.

1 comment:

Alex C. said...

I am hopeful and happy for you.