Hero

I also want to be the one to pull the red handle. Red is a very distracting color.

Church Makes me Think Nasty

When I don't feel like writing. I'm going to comment on a Post Secret entry that I connect with. You should too.


I also think about dirty things during funerals. My mind is vastly inappropriate.

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Chris shared this with me.

I love it. I find it interesting when folks speak an unexpected language. I love Asians who speak Spanish/French and White folks who speak an Asian language etc etc.

At the Asian/Mexican Market there was an ambiguous dark skinned butcher who jumped from English to Vietnamese to Spanish within 5 minutes. It was brilliant.

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I deleted my Adam4Adam account. I figured, I hooked up with a guy from there and I really wasn't into the anonymity of it and there's nothing more that I needed from that site.

Folks judge... oh so and so hooks up with guys from online. *gasp*. Without really appreciating the community that they are a part of. Without realizing that back in the day they had an account on XY.com, they were in Gay Chat rooms on AOL (GAM), they were chatting with folks on rateapix/hotornot they were just as bad because they were little horny curious teenagers. And from there became the foundation of their gay network.

It's hard to be gay. It's hard to meet people. It's hard to feel wanted. Being gay and lonely seem to go hand in hand. So it makes sense that the web is our resource. Just be safe & responsible.

Reminder:

...pretty much

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Liberating Love

To all the people that say love is rare: say that to the millions of people fighting for equity and equality every day.

To all the people that say beauty belongs to only a few: look yourself in the mirror and exclaim that you are extravagant.

To all the people that believe only those who struggle can claim strength: raise your hand high—we all struggle in our own way.

To all the people that say wealth is only land and riches: take pleasure in the fact that you have wealth of body and mind.

To all the people that believe only artists can create art: pick up a brush, an instrument, a boombox. You are the artist.

To all the people that feel alone: someone else is feeling alone as well. The world is waiting for your debut.

To all the people that feel heartbreak is their modus operandi: love will find its way to you. Sometimes, it just prefers to take the longer way there.

To all the people that feel under served for their selflessness: you are the most deserving of all.

To all the people that feel change can only be made by activists: stand tall with us! Your realization for change makes you an activist and a fighter.

To all the people who are questioning: we are here to help you along the way.

To all the people that see age as a barrier: remember that at anytime, anyone can check us on our beliefs—young or old.

To all the people that see queerness as an excuse for unfaithfulness and dangerous party habits: know that there are those who are concerned for your safety, mentally and physically.

To all the people that wish to feel liberating love…

You are hope.

Words of Suh-Dill-Yah

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Nate Suh-Dill-Yah is this dude who looks like me... actually, he reminds me of myself when I was younger and optimistic. We are very similar... aware of queerity, passionate in our thoughts, in love with culture, battling with skin issues, sensitive....

I like what he's saying. Though I can't help but wonder what it takes to break his optimism.... actually, I know what it takes. I wonder if it will happen.

Because Love is Rare...

Sonny introduced me to this community last year.

http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/

People send anonymous postcards admitting their secrets as a way of 'coming clean.' At the same time, reading about others' secrets is an artistic adventure into the human experience.

I've submitted a secret, and I wonder if he's ever going to post it. I saw this one today and I thought of the gay couples...

Sex = easy. It's taken so casually, and messing around is brushed off like an expected weekend activity. But is it just an activity? or does it signify the message in the above postcard?

Gay people are lonely. Gay people are horny. Gay people can't commit, yet they desire to so much... and find themselves in a self demising paradox.

I used to believe that gay couples break that paradox. That gay couples who embrace each other, convey commitment, trust and give a giant "FUCK YOU" to the gay stereotypes because they found love and need to be with only one person to fulfill all internalized desires. Celebrate my gay wedding, we are NOT what you think we are!

But more and more, I question the concept of a 'gay couple.'

The concept of a gay couple has been redefined for me... as I hear more and more stories about promiscuity, unfaithfulness being excused with a sad-faced "just don't do it again." Brushed off because to a gay person, finding love is so rare that it would be utterly stupid to let go because of 'one' mistake that does or does not involve alcohol. Finding love is rare because the first step is finding a gay person... and from that small pool, gay people find themselves being picky. I am picky. But you have to be.

But how many times do you have to forgive until you question their 'love?' And are gay people who are in relationships sluts because they aren't really in love? Or is their sex drive that insatiable? Are they that much of an animal? That they "need" to fuck everyone they see.

And because of this... I find myself becoming equally lenient and understanding. Because I am lonely, because I missed the idea of love. And I find myself continuing to be more willing to forgive and brush things aside (like everyone else) because at least after you fuck him, you come home to me and slow dance to 'our song,' cook me my favorite dinner and tell me you love me. And when we sleep, you fit perfectly in my arms. And I won't question your feelings for me even though you sleep around... because having you right now is that wonderful.

...After all, it's just sex. Right?

Besides, perfection is impossible and compromised when love is rare. In response to the postcard, "being a slut is actually just a weekend activity..."

And for now... I'm willing to accept that.