Birthday Wishes from Dad

My dad posted the above on my wall.  I think he's giving me sign that it's okay... that I'm gay.

Yay.  I'm officially 27.

February Recap

Valentine's Day

Jimmy and I have made it a tradition to eat hot pot for Valentine's day.  For any American holiday (Father's Day, Mother's Day) it only makes sense to go somewhere no white American would be.  That means avoiding all popular American restaurants (Cheesecake Factory, Umami Burger) where something special means something stressful.  Instead we hit up Asia town.  Two second wait and we began our epic personal hot pot meal at Boiling Point.  The pots sizzled and we were reintroduced to wonderful Taiwanese flavors.  My love for you is represented in the steam rising from these mini fire hazards. One House Special and one Curry Fishball - delicious, flavorful,  perfect date.

Gingerbread House Making

I love these activities.  I've hosting Easter egg decorating, pumpkin carving, dumpling making... let's do something other than watch tv and go to the same fucking bars.  Though it gets exhausting when I feel like we're the only one's looking for interesting things to do.

Though late, we finally made gingerbread houses from our WalMart kit.  A colorful diaster, but rewarding.  Sean admitted, "i called you guys because I knew you'd have something interesting to do."  Yes.. yes. we do.  Wholesome times experiencing a childhood that we're quickly growing away from.

Chinatown Adventure

Okay okay.  I make my friends sound like users, but they do come up with some interesting things.  David posted a gallery opening he wanted to check out on his facebook in Chinatown which became an epic Saturday evening chilling and making small talk at Mountain Bar, dancing in the street and saying hi to Macy Gray (who i spotted.)  Large turn out, great weather and something definitely amazing.

February 2012 is now closed!!!!

Joshua Tree in February

Though we already went to Joshua tree in October, we took a day trip and hit up trails that we missed the first time.

This is my attempt at desert chic

I'm glad I dressed warmly.  There was some snow on the trails.

We were determined to climb Warren Peak which was a 6 mile hike above a 5103 feet summit!  We got lost, but found our way just in time for sunset.  We rushed to get back because we didn't want to find our way in the dark.  We were the only ones on the trail.

This does not do the view justice, but the mountain and valley was ours.

We found the other group who was sleeping over.  We scurried away and wished them luck on their below freezing slumber.  Some folks turned to sleeping in their car.  Baiiiiiiii fellas!

Career Crossroads

The Wisdom Path - Hong Kong

If I knew what I wanted to do, it would be a different story.

I've been given all these quotes as of late from various people trying to help me find my way.

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."
"A young person's downfall is early success"
"You're so young...  what ever decision you make now won't be a bad one."
"The only person looking out for you... is yourself."
"People make quick decisions when they are just tired and frustrated."
"You can get any job you want right now... people want to hire you."

I'm the lead on my account.  I'm the planner, supervisor, director and I never looked for guidance at my work because I just figured it out myself, but as I'm hitting my third year at the same company on the same account, I'm encountering fatigue.

I was convinced that I was done with media planning.  The perks and adventures no longer offset the work hours and stress.  The people that used to inspire me have all left and I feel trapped at my work place as more and more people jump ship for better opportunities.  My assistant's last day with this Thursday... her vacancy has already put strain on me as I try to juggle multiple levels of project management and campaign optimizations.  I'm putting together presentations while confirming billing.  I train assistants while addressing client deliverables.  My assistant left because my company no longer offered anything worthwhile for her.  I should have done the same a year ago.

I've been headhunted so often by recruiters for higher paying jobs.  But I always say no because it's all the same, just farther from my house.

My honesty was appreciated:  I told my work that I was done... and they told me that they liked me so they will find something better suited... but I need to be patient.  I'm pulled in two directions feeling as if I was respected and feeling used.  My patience would secure the company survival since I am "the rock," the "cornerstone," the "glue" on the account that I had build on my own... helping the company garner millions of dollars with my work.

"You're impressive Chris.. you achieved so much."
"Great job up there, you're fabulous"
"I don't get it.. you were amazing in front of the client... you are heading so quickly towards success.. i don't understand why you don't want to continue... if it's support, i can help you... but if your heart isn't there.. that's a different story."

My heart... I think that's the problem. And all these compliments from VPs, directors, assistants and planners spin my mind in more circles.

"We really appreciate you."

But what does that mean?  Do I ask for more money?  For 2 years I've been doing the work above me, but I never asked for a promotion because I never wanted that responsibility... but they never adequately hired anyone above me so naturally I inherited the pressure without it reflected on my paycheck.

I feel respected, but I feel like I'm being taken advantage of.  4 more people are joining my team.  I was doing the work for 4 people and now they decide to staff up and hire people below and above me.  I have to train the new director... how to be a director.. i have to train my new supervisor.. how to be a supervisor... because I'm the only one that knows.

I'm overworked.  Tired of working above my level without the appropriate compensation, the training or the confidence that should have come with it.  But I don't know where to go.  I just want to quit like many of my friends and just enjoy life, but Jimmy reminds me that I'm the type of person that would go crazy after the 2nd week fo doing nothing.  And I've already been out of work for a year so it doesn't make sense to do it again.

I'm tired of low work morale and mountain of responsibilities that have been placed on me.  I know what I'm good at... and I know what makes me happy so I'll just have to accept that I wouldn't be getting that 50% raise for doing something that I'm no longer interested in doing.  But it's sad for me to realize that my potential to be successful on this path won't make me happy. At least I'm "young."

I don't feel young.  Is it appropriate to start over in your late 20s?  Maybe that's the quote I really need to be fed:

"you're ONLY turning 27 - start over and do something that makes you happy.... NOW"

I blame 30 for being such a scary number.

Once Upon a Time...

Charles gave us literally 5 days after coming back from Asia to plan his conveniently themed Disney birthday.  Challenge accepted.

First, decorations:

Enchanted forest and Tron Stairway Entrance

Hunky Heros Corner and Alice in Wonderland Tea Party

Mulan Mirror and Cinderella Mirror with suicide writing

Agrabah

Ariel's Grotto

There was also Nightmare Before Christmas Balcony, Princess Save Me Staircase and Peter Pan's London-view Window.  If we had more time, we would have hung Rapunzel's hair out the window.  There was little Pixar aside from a Wall-E on our trash can and Finding Nemo in our toliet.

Second, drinks:

Under the Sea: Hypnotic, Vodka, Champagne, Lime Juice
Poison Apple: Apple Vodka, Vinilla Vodka, Apple Liquor, Half and Half
The Great Wall: Beer, Lemonade, Plum Wine, Rose Water, Passion Fruit Juice

Third, Costumes:

Modern Mickey, hobo Ariel (folks kept calling me Poison Ivy), Chim chimney, and Pinocchio (who falls without his strings)

Maybe it was a bad idea to get most of my costume from the dollar store.  The red "wig" made me look like my weave was broke and ghetto ... like I just got out of a drag queen fight and LOSt and the princess dress made for 8 year olds pressed really tight on my tummy making me look like a potato... at least my shell bra was even.

Ride the magic carpet!! Everyone!  Put down your cigarette Cruella de Vil

Fourth, Cake for Princess Charles

And of course a photobooth! More creativity people! I know we're reaching our late 20's/early 30s/mid 40s, but don't be scared to wear some body paint.

OOo and a Disney Puzzle challenge

Happy Birthday Charles.  I'm glad you had a Magical Time.

...stay young and silly