The 19 Year Old Brings Out The 19 Year Old in Me

The kid asked me to go eat.
He threw bad directions at me and walked off. I was getting annoyed cuz I thought he was rude.
I called him to tell him that the directions he had given me were wrong.
He responded that I lacked common sense.

I started to argue.. "i dont lack common sense, you gave me bad directions!"

He responded, "Why are you being a little bitch?"

I responded, "I'm going home." And I ditch our dinner plans.

==

I'm going to Psycho-Analyze myself and diagnose two potential problems.
1. I am innately prideful and don't take verbal abuse well
2. My past relationships have created distinct nerves and buttons and that instead of making stronger have made me overly sensitive to particular statements and situations.

I'm thinking it's the combination of the two. A little bio and social influences that have made incapable looking pass meaningless words and reactions.

==

"Where are normal people who just happen to be gay?" Ironically, we are just as fucked up as the gay person next to us that we hate so much.

Folks who make bold statements:
"I live a drama free life." I find these folks to be the most dramatic
"Where are all the masculine gay people." I find these folks not to be so masculine themselves
"I'm so tired of the community." I find these folks to be the most recognized in the community.
"I'm over it...totally." I find these folks... not even close to being over it.

But in actuality things that we don't like about other people... are actually things we don't like about ourselves. So what about me?

I say... "trust no one." When... I'm probably the most trusting, vulnerable person ever. I'd like to be in a mature relationship because I claim to have been through enough of it. But I have yet to really grow up... I'm still 19.

==

So while trying to be better than our peers, the first step is being better than ourselves... and to realize that essentially, we are all the same.



"If I'm Ugly, then So Are You"