I Like This One

Jimmy is convinced that I want a boyfriend.  But I argue that if love finds a way back into my life, why would I ever reject it?  So in a sense, yes, I would like a boyfriend, but no, I don't need a boyfriend (as I've convinced myself).

Boys come in and out.  In and out.  And in a drunken stupor I pointed to one and declared loudly, "I like this one!" as if I was a child shopping for a stuffed animal. The boy glanced over, I think he smiled and continued the conversation he was having with someone else.  I wasn't embarrassed because I really don't fucking care.  And Jimmy was experiencing second hand embarrassment enough for the both of us.

Later that night I told some folks that I was interested in that boy to which one person responded, "I know him... he's bad news!!"  And he explained why.  I covered my ears, "LALALALA I don't care!!"  Because.. because because because! I don't want to hear bull shit gossip, hear-say that ruins opportunities because your impression of him shouldn't affect my opinion of him until I can actually go on my coffee date interview with him.

It really sucks that reputation and "friendly warnings" about certain people really ruin impressions when it shouldn't matter to a person who is mature enough to figure it out themselves (I hope.)  But I guess for folks who don't know, they take these precautions.  Makes me wonder if folks ever warn each other about me.  "Chris?  He's bad news, he'll blog about you."

But anyway, I heard what was said, "...he's bad news... he's dating so-and-so anyway."  Ah, that's more important information and I moved along as I'm supposed to.  And I'm coming to realize that I usually heed these warnings when I should make an effort not to.. starting now.

For instance, I've been attracted to a boy until I hear someone say he's self absorb.  Crush disappears.  I've been attracted to a boy until I hear that he hunts giraffes and eats babies.  Crush evaporates.  I've been attracted to a boy until I hear someone say that he loves house music.... crush... I'll think about it.

We shouldn't come into things with all this preconceived notions!  Let's all just be blank slates!  Acknowledge warnings, sure, but we shouldn't throw all opportunities away just because of 6 degree separated conversation.  After all, we are just good people trying to fill our tummies, even if the cup of noodle isn't complete full.