Let Go.

I got a message from Tofu saying, "hey... i'm just going to tell you now not to bother waiting for me... we can talk about it later"

The entire day I was worried. Is he already dating someone? I prepared myself for what he had to say.

We chatted, and he told me he wasn't interested in getting back together because of his future plans. He's extending his stay in Japan and leaning towards graduate school at an international academy.

I understand. Of course. You have to focus on your own priorities before you think about a relationship and we are both young. I've said all of this before. But for some reason I needed him to remind me "not to wait for him."

No matter how MUCH I "understand" and "agree whole-heartedly," inside, I held on to the idea that we might get back together. He knew this. And I just needed to hear it one more time from him so that I can let go completely; put everything in a shoe box, and look forward. It's amazing how I was prepared to cry, but instead, I slept peacefully as I set free the idea that I might marry him.

I know I'm lucky. It's a rare case that a relationship lasts this long at our age. And an even rarer case that it closes cleanly and positively. I guess, for us, breaking up is growing up and it's something that we both need to do.