Christmas with Family and Strange Gay Thoughts

This year was a little off because we celebrated on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day, but it was still cheery.

The food was delicious and the house was warm. Apparently, ALL my cousins read my blog so I guess there's no pretending anymore. But it sort of makes me happy because then they can really get to know me. Hi, I'm Christopher, I love cheese and I'm gay... in fact, I'm really gay. I'd rather hang out with gay people and go to gay clubs or if I go to a straight club, I'd dance gay. I make gay comments and try to convince others to be gay too. I'm gay gay gay. Hah. You have known me for 22 years, but how well do you know me? For me, if you don't know I'm gay... I act differently... I don't act like myself. That's what makes work sort of difficult for me because I can't really be myself. But I'm glad that's changing for my family.

On Christmas, I visited my Grandparents. And it seems so lonely... being old. I always surround myself with people. I think everyone tries to do that and if they can't, they get really depressed. We really do need each other especially now when your life can be taken away... like that.




There's my mom sitting next to my Grandma's grave spending time with her as if she was still alive. I sat there next to her and my dad watching the incense burn. Christmas seems to be a time to appreciate those who we have in our lives.

When I get old, I imagine making friends with all the gay old people in the building and inviting them over for drinks and ask the if they want to pay suck and blow (the card game from Clueless) hahaha. Yeah, I bet you can imagine me doing that too!

In church at midnight, I was in pain. Happy birthday Jesus, but I was tired, I was cold, I did NOT want to be there. But I had to. I fell asleep, I made, get-me-the-fuck-out-of-here noises... and when it ended I was really really happy. My cousins question religion pretty aggressively. I do too, but for some reason I still go when my parents ask me to. I still pray when I find it appropriate. I guess, I go for my parents.

"You have to believe in SOMETHING!" My Aunt told my cousin when she said she no longer believed. I agree with my Aunt, I agree with my cousin.... people just want to be apart of something... a community right? You have to have faith or hope or something to believe in so that you move forward. But... you have to find the one that makes sense to you.

For me, as long as you care about one another... you have something good going on.

Happy Holidays Everyone!