Gum?

I read somewhere that asking for sex should be as easy as asking for gum.
But even then, offering gum is difficult because you don't want to imply that they have bad breath.

Therefore offering sex is difficult because you don't want to be the one who "started it," who "crossed the line," who "challenged the friendship." Difficult, yeah.

Then how do you know when to respectfully proposition your target? By reading cues. You SHOULD be able to determine if they want to by their body language and comments. But even then, you could find yourself completely wrong and embarrassed when they say, "what are you doing?"

It's a constant battle between desire and respect But what keeps either party from making moves may reside at a deeper level. It's a realization that it would be shallow, disrespectful to mutual friends and merely another connection in this sick web of hook ups in a community that at times seems too tightly knit. But of course all of these concerns are forgotten once the first moves are made and hesitation goes out the window.

So cuddling is the compromise. Like an extended horizontal hug. It seemingly fills an emptiness that was once filed by someone you cared about. Listening to each other breathe, touching each other's hair. It's nice, because it's safe. And provides the same rush you get from sex with out the mess. Sort of, not really, okay not the same at all. But there's a flirtatious charm (or awkward situation) in cuddling. And while you're cuddling you may feel each other's heart race, and sense each other's adrenaline. From there you can read the cues, send cues, and MAYBE someone will make a move.

And after you cuddle no one is ashamed or regretful.

Why am I so contemplative if I’m glad I don’t indulge in regretful sex? Because I boldly state that I want to so badly. Yet, I am surrounded by people who are too mature, good hearted for their own good; including myself. And cuddling is getting old, even though it is always nice.

But what really tops the cake is when they say, "[the] feeling [they] get after parties of complete regret of what [they] did the night before.... [they are] glad it did not[happen] this time."

Because no one offered gum even though it was badly needed.