A Conversation to Establish Civilty

I haven't seen him for 2 years and spent an afternoon with him on Sunday.

We spent the time talking about stuff that didn't involve expired resentment, but rather we reconnected as strangers; which is exactly what I had hoped for.

I'm very happy about this because I kept my word.... that I still want to be friends even after ALL of that nonsense.

OH HAI BAY AREA!

Last time I visited you, you were very mean to me. You basically threw in my face that my friends have moved on and the baggage that I was trying to forget still existed... but yesterday... Oh Bay Area... you were so good to me.

I took an impromptu trip to the bay with my coworker. I came up without telling anyone except Aaron and a few others... if the trip made me feel shitty, it was okay because I can just spend time with family, but I didn't expect to feel so happy to be home.

Movie Theatre-
In LA, you have to pay to park at a theatre and theatre tickets are way more expensive than they should be. As a result, I haven't seen a movie in LA unless my company paid for it or if it was at a cheap theatre and the movie had already been out for 6 months.

Thank you suburbs for providing free parking and a mind blowing Avatar experience. I was emotionally stimulated and my senses were overloaded. At the end of the movie I was exhausted and needed to find something to stick my hair braid in to make a synaptic connection.

House Party in SF
A random house party appeared on my todo list and I partied with an eclectic crowd whom I've never seen before. I love that. Everyone was friendly and sprinkled around was the perfect amount of folks I knew/of which made networking was easier.


The house party was on 16th and Delores... it was a great location and the place was really really cute... the roommates were minimalists and it made me want to throw some of my stuff away. One of the rooms was in a corner facing Sunset with huge windows; the view was breathtaking. There were a lot of Andy Warhol pieces in the apartment which I enjoyed. They swapped the lightbulbs in the apartment with reds and blues, which reminded me of my epic college parties and they had a projector playing something random on the bare walls. It was a very young adult transitional party.


And the PARKING.. omg.. there were about SIX open spots on the MAIN streets. I guided aaron to parallel cuz I do that on the daily with my truck in LA. So fucking refreshing to find parking at 10:30PM in the city... crispy like the night air.




Bar on Church
Thank you Bar on Church for playing Hip Hop songs. Thank you SO MOTHER FUCKING MUCH for playing songs I knew the words to. I danced ALL night.

-I danced with a stranger who asked for my number
-I was a creepster and hit on a guy who was very sober and very uninterested
-and... I danced with a pole "looking like I was having fun instead of looking too hard to be sexual" as Damien described.

...and thank you Bar on Church for filling your room with 21+ Asian Americans who have Bay Area swagger. Yes. Swagger.

Bay Area Swagger.
There were about a million people that I found attractive last night. Maybe I had a good buzz, but when I go to WeHo... I find... no one attractive. In fact there was this guy that I met at in LA twice that I thought was really cute. I assumed he lived in LA and kept flirting with him (sort of), and to my surprise he actually lived in the bay. Fucking shit.

What is bay area swagger? It's hard to explain... it's like natural rhythm, culture, color, substance, BART... just something that makes San Francisco bay area boys so much more worthwhile and delicious.

Denny's
And we went to Denny's after I danced with the whole bar in Castro. I had nachos and our Vegetarian friend inadvertently ordered a Mushroom burger assuming it was a garden burger. Oh vegetarians, nhiều chuyện!!! I came home at 4AM and crash like old times.

And I'm awake at 9AM blogging because I am so happy that I finally got to experience the parts of the bay that I loved and missed instead of being disappointed like last time.

Yes!

Brunch
And today I'm having brunch with my ex who I've had a face to face conversation since December 2007. Why? To clear the waters, because he's dating one of my best friends and for my best friends sake I want everything to be good. OMG. The day has come! LOL.

I'll let you know how that goes.

==

This is how I currently feel:

Insecurities

Why do we take pictures of ourselves? I think it's an affirmation thing. With the perfect lighting and angle we can essentially transform ourselves to become more of what we think we look like for the second we take a photo.

Smiling with our eyes, making cute goofy faces...

Is it vanity? Partially... maybe it's insecurities. What do you think?

Maybe it's a reminder that "hey... out of the 86,400 seconds of the day... for ONE of those seconds, I look.. alright" in a picture. *post*

And it's enough to go out in the world without a bag over my head. But right now... I feel so ugly.

==

I was walking from my truck to the elevator going to work and I thought to myself... I'm pretty secure with myself... I think I come off very confident... but I wonder if I really do. Maybe I just have my moments... like most people.

I find that I really like it when I'm with a boy and I tell them they are adorable and they say they're are ugly. I like it when they look at me as if I was blind or retarded for thinking such crazy things.

I think most of the guys I dated had some physically insecurity that I enjoyed... and in the gay world it seems like there are only two sides of the spectrum.. you either think you're a monster or that you're God's gift from the heavens.

*insert Monster sounds*
==

Anyway, I went out with my coworkers at the same hipster bar I went Monday, but this time the scene was more San Jose nightclub with slutty girls and douchey guys and everyone too self conscious and enjoy the music (basically the opposite of Monday). Though, the music was pretty terrible to enjoy.

This girl approached my coworker and asked if my coworker and I were gay because she came with gay friends. I went up to the strange girl and said, "I love Cock..y people who ask such direct questions. I'm gay, he's not." After a few moments, her entourage left disinterested with my answer, seemingly.

So was I being hit on or was I being called out for being obviously gay during straight hipster night? I think.. they were more interested in my coworker... yeah makes sense. But it's cool her gay friend looked very miserable.

==

I told my coworkers that I have gay voice, at times gay face... and they disagreed. Interesting. They asked about gay walk... and I can see that.. there's some hip rythms and chest elevation in gay walk. I wonder if I have that.

==

I'm taking an impromptu trip to San Jose. Will you be around?

Lunch Break

Went to The Grove with my coworkers today during lunch. We were celebrity hunting, but didn't spot anyone... last time someone spotted Kanye and his entourage. This was taken at the Mac store.

-Lucky to have coworkers who I can connect with.

Wednesday Thoughts

I love it when Ern walks into my room and lays on my bed and unravels his thoughts of the day.

It's probably my favorite moment in LA.

We exchange stories and frustrations, offer insights and humor. Songs and judgments. Cant ask for anything more.

The other day I told him the story below ...


One of my coworkers started to talk about penises. She asked me if I knew what the average penis size was and I responded, "5 to 6 inches."

"REALLY!?!?" she exclaimed
"Yeah well... there are a lot of people in this world"
"6 is HUGE!!!!!"

I was taken back. I thought her "really" was a reaction of how small the average penis was... at that point I realized that I watch too much porn.

Ern offered insight- that men are obsessed with size. And that if you show a women a penis... she would react OH a penis... maybe on average? I really don't know what goes on in a woman's mind. Scared to know.

It's also nice to be out at work. I am very myself during the majority of the hours of the weekday.

==

Tired. I whispered to my right hand, "lets just cuddle tonight."

I Enjoy being a Wannabe Hipster

Last night my friends and I met up with Jimmy and his posse at "Mustache Monday's" at La Cita down the street from my house and I've discovered the joys of hipsterdom.

As I described it on my twitter, "It was like an ugly fashion show." The girls were cute, some had chunks of hair missing from their scalps. As they walked passed, Ern and I would say loudly, "CUUUTE" and point at them to make sure they knew we were talking about them.

The boys creatively dressed with suspenders, glasses they stole from their grandpa... one guy was wearing a matador jacket. Another dude was wearing a dressy vest... and nothing underneath. Like a systematic throw up of style. Drag queens were in random corners, some Japanese exchange students... it was people from all likes of the world.

Hair was big, experimental, random. It felt like I was in a competition to get noticed and the person who got the most judgments... won a prize.

Next time we come here Ern and I agreed to dress each other in ANYTHING we want... except fitted v-necks that should be saved for our WeHo uniform.

The music was amazing. I was surprised to see a packed dance floor on a Monday night and work was the last thing I was thinking about. I felt like dancing like I didn't care. My hip hop moves were thrown out the window and I just gyrated my body to the beats of this awesome eclectic DJ. I tried my best to look as ridiculous as possible because dancing "normally" was boring.

Electronica, Hip Hop, Pop... the different colors of music appealed to the different characters at the club. I loved it so much. But next time I'll be better prepared with more accessories, yes... accessories are key.


Jimmy warned me that Mustache Mondays is "very different and not just pretty boys" I exclaimed, "GOOD! I hate pretty boys!" Ern and I agreed that we found a lot of the kids there attractive because they were interesting and seemingly had more depth.

Jimmy was introducing me to his bf for a second time. We had already met at WeHo, but I didn't remember. He said, that we were introduced on one side of the street then when we crossed I said, "Jimmy.. why are are you talking to those strangers!?" Oops. His bf wasn't very happy I forgot him within a span of 20 seconds. That takes a lot of skill.

At the end of the night I went up to this one girl and said to her, "you are such a good dancer.. you are making me straight curious!" She got all flattered and I walked away.

Next, Jimmy and friends are going to go to a black club. After the awesome ugly marathon of counter culture, we were craving something with swagger. YES! to experiencing different venues of life. YES! to complimenting strangers.. and YES! to meeting new friends through Tumblr. :]

Mad love..

December 2009 Recap

Lots of things went down in December. East coast trip, Christmas parties... here are some remnant pictures I've been meaning to upload.

Crazy Aunt Doris returns.... I AMUSE myself so much. God, I'm so hot.




Relaxing in Echo Park with xtine.




Gossip girls Dim Sum breakfast with the bitches... except MoAny, I hate u.


Endless delicious Korean food- Bossam, Noodle Salad and Seafood Pancake. It's interesting how I could identify it as Korean immediately.


Work fun- As a prank, the team put a huge Christmas Tree in someone's cube. Other pranks involve turning another cube into a night club, completely gift wrapping someone's cube include their monitor, chair, pens and an office into farmville (complete with that hot airballon, animals and trees with apples?) And those are my coworkers being fierce.


Hairchive: Horse Hair. Check out that Mane and those crazy cowlicks!