The Dating Game.

It's really hard not to contact someone when you keep thinking about them.

Went on a 2nd-esque date with the boy from the OC. Messing around was anticipated since I was sleeping over, but before that we watched Margaret Cho on Youtube.

8 long clips of her entire "Revolution" stand-up. It was the longest count down of my life since I really just wanted to just kiss him... but as I laid on his chest and felt his heart race I could tell that he had similar ideas in his mind. 6/8 clips was when I was dying and tempted to just close the laptop and pounce, but I stayed patient and enjoyed the rhythm of his mutual anxiousness.

But I feel as though my eagerness was detrimental.
I didn't give him all the eggs in my basket, but came close and I'm left in this "after" part. Where anticipation and curiosity evolve negatively because of expectation. "Is he going to kiss me?" becomes "he's already had a taste, does he want more?"... and is there "more" to give?

But it's good because the reality of it is it's early and the feelings that I am feeling are very premature...

... I can easily cut my thin thin heart strings and focus on what my body has been desiring for months- something casual. My heart can wait longer.

And if you're reading, boy from the OC, then Hi, yes, I like you and I haven't text you that much because I don't want to seem so eager. Not because I got what I wanted and am moving on.

And I wonder if you're using the same tactic in this dating game.
But if you're not then well... I enjoyed the night I spent with you...