At some house party:
Ignorant White Man: So where are you guys from?I guess all he wanted to do was show off that he knew how to butcher Tagalog. Aww, poor ignorant white man. You can conquest our Asian asses later when you gain a little more perspective.
Wirfs: Silverlake
Me: Echopark
Sam: From So Cal yeah..
Ignorant White Man: No no no, I mean.. where are you FROMMMMM. (that's right, say it slower)
Wirfs: No seriously, down the street
Me: Well, I from the bay area I guess
Sam: Erm.. my parents are near Malibu
Ignorant White Man: Hmm... okay, but then before that.. where are you FROMM?
Wirfs: We are US citizens Man
Me: "USA! USA! USA!"
Ignorant White Man: Your heritage
All of us: OHHHhh guess (I enjoyed fucking with this guy)
Ignorant White Man: Well I dont want to assume, (LOL) but... I speak multiple languages... anyone know Tagalog?
Me: *I point my finger excitedly at Ern.. he's HATE these kind of people. *chuckle**
Ignorant White Man: *Says some Gibberish in Tagalog to Ern who purposely left the conversation early on**
Ern: That's not MY language man, *evil glare* turns his face around and talks to someone else.
Ignorant White Man: Oh kay... I'm gonna go now.
==
At Buddha Lounge
Black Predator: So what's your name?Really? This shit happens? I guess it happens when you go to a place called "Buddha Lounge" on a Sunday where there was more non Asians than Asians. And "where are you from" is really stupid... "What's your ethnicity" is preferred, unless the goal is to find someone from "the land of sunshine"... not that LA has any sun.
Jimmy: Jimmy
Black Predator: Nice to meet you Junny, where are you from?JimmyJunny: LA
Black Predator: No, where are you from from
Junny: *Sigh* I was raised in California
Black Predator: OH... well with your skin complexion, I thought you would be from the land of sunshine
Me: HeyJimmyJunny, Let's go dance.
All you non-Asians let's try this out:
"What's your ethnicity?"
(if you're wondering what sort of Asian delicacy your geisha boy can cook for you)
"OH cool.. so were you born here?"
(if you're wondering if he's uncut...sometimes works)
"Let me buy you a drink"
(if you want to liquor him up so that he can be your bottom for the evening)
...and that's how you successfully be a predator. God, do it right.
13 comments:
ha. so many stupids out there.
Interesting post. I'm Nigerian (born in New Jersey, but lived in Nigeria from infancy to toddler-hood before returning to the States) and as a xenophile, whenever I want to know someone's ethnicity, I've always asked "where are you from?" Similarly, when someone asks me (with that squinty side eye, usually upon hearing my unusual name) "where are YOU from?", I always say I'm Nigerian. It's usually followed by "oh, so you were born there?" When I tell them no, they say, "oh, well then you're American!" NO. I am not. I'm *very* much Nigerian before anything else, and I hate when people try to take my identity away from me like that. Similarly, I get offended when I hear other Nigerians answer that question with "I'm from Rhode Island" or "My *parents* are from Nigeria." But that's just me... ~Kanyé shrug~
I guess I've always assumed that my question obviously meant "I want to know what country you're from!" Glad to be aware that some people might take offense... Good day!
lol.
I get that too. My answer: "Well I was born in Florida, grew up in Tennessee, went to school in [X], worked in Minnesota, and now and live in Texas."
I love watching people process that.
self righteous asian here who hates predatory asiaphile white guys and quite honestly tends to stick with asian guys..but that "where u from" shtick isn't jus from asiaphiles..sometimes it's just ill-informed/ignorant ppl with good intentions trying to be friendly
we can all be ignorant and embarrass ourselves sometimes :P
AMAZING last tip section! I am sending it to all my rice queen friends!
~A
thanks for the tips for predators LOL i'd love to word vomit a huge paragraph and have them walking the other way.
Hehe, I've always hated the inevitable "No, where are you FROMMM?" follow-up question. There's always those certain people, that as soon as they approach you, you know that they're fishing.
The thing is... as much as we fault white guys for doing this, it's also probably one of the first thing that other Asian people are trying to ascertain the first time you meet them.
I don't know why this is; it's not like when I meet some random white guy I have to figure out immediately if he's Italian or Scottish or Swedish.
people are stupid
I get it all the time.. but usually from like European tourists. It's like fuck you, I'm actually from this country.
This guy stopped me last week and was like, "Hey.. are you from Japan?" and I'm like, "No. I'm from America," and walked away.
It's just something we have to deal with.
But at least online, I can put up a disclaimer:
"People with yellow fever move on please. I grew up in America. I am American. I have no interest in indulging your fetishes by being your geisha."
I'm offended as a white person (with some latino heritage) that people are that stupid...
And Alex, you know I'm so not like that. :P
Thanks for posting, Chris!
I had a white guy at a gay bar the other say, "I know how tough it is for you Asians to be assertive. That's why there aren't many Asian tops. I'm not stereotyping - how many Asian tops do you know?"
If I had a drink at the moment, I would have thrown it at him.
When I get back to blogging, it's gonna be my next long, angry post.
Hey chris, get ur stories correct. It was david and not sam at the house party.
@Ernasty. OMG! There were no pictures from that night! This is what happens!
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