Oh Western Medicine.

My doctor prescribed me accutane without knowing what that entailed.
(Accutane is THE Acne solution, but word on the playground is that it fucks up your liver and causes intense depression...)

"So Doxycycline didn't work?"
"Nope."

He made a pouty face as if he was in elementary school.

"I wanted to know your thoughts on accutane."
"I was just going to say something like that."

The doctor pulls out a book and reads to me the facts about accutane, which I could have read myself. "Stomach pains, dizziness, depression... suicidal thoughts... if that happens your friends would probably give me a call huh?" I chuckled... it was nice that he was lighthearted.

"Are you planning on getting pregnant?" My doctor has weird uncle humor.
"Nope!"
"Hmmm it says twice a day... doesn't say when."
"So.. breakfast and dinner?"
"Sounds good! Breakfast of champions!!" I think my doctor was on something.

"Alright!" He estimates how many milligrams I'm supposed to take based on my weight and does the math on a pad.
"Okay.. anything thing else?"
"Um... am I supposed to have monthly blood tests?"
He ponders for a second, "ooooo yes.. good idea." And he writes me a blood test slip to take a month later.

"So... um how much alcohol can I consume while on accutane?"
"Just don't go over board" He winks at me.
"So.. one drink."
"Two." He whispers while showing me two fingers and a creepy smile.

==

I went to the pharmacy.
"Did your doctor register you for the accutane program?"
"no... he just gave me this prescription."
"yeah... you need to enroll in a program and sign all these forms... you need to be more aware of the risks. Please call your doctor.

==

So apparently, my doctor hasn't prescribed Accutane "in a very long time." But I'm thinking he never prescribed it in his life. I was excited to bypass all the dermatology bullshit because it takes a month to even get an appointment... but... I guess the wait is worth not almost getting killed by malpractice.

Oh Western Medicine.

====

Joe keeps reminding me: When you're on accutane, you're going to be over analyzing everything. "why isn't he calling?! Why didn't they invite me?!? Why did he look at me like that?!?!?!" When he said this, I commented... so I guess most Gays are Already ON accutane..... DAHHH RAHHH MAAAA!!!!!!!!!! =.=

Totally Not Dateable

I was initially interested in a guy that I met legitimately but with everything I threw at him... the only thing that was reciprocated was "good friend" vibes.

So I turned to Aaron for advice. He simply responded, "next." To Aaron, the boy wasn't interested and there was nothing more to it. To me, you have to work for it... to "sweep them off their feet" to make them realize how dateable you are.

But with Aaron's advice, I reconsidered buying something with his favorite animal on it and dropping it off at his work. That would be... "too aggressive" as I apparently have known to be.

But he's right. If they're not initially interested (according to my observations)... there's nothing more to do, but to be the good friend that I'm expected to be... it also made me think about what it was like to be on the other side of the situation. (Ahh, I'm starting to get it.)

This boy particularly catches my attention because so far everything that I have seen, I like... trying to fall in love with my eyes open, he has met all my prerequisites except one superficial one and it makes me wonder what it is about me that doesn't fit with him.

Regardless, I enjoy his vibes and as always I can always use another friend.


Totally not dateable.

===

Gosh... boys on the brain, right?

In other news, I applied to volunteer at a Teen Help Hotline and they basically said that they are not interested in my free work.

Ok. Thanks.

I Think My Mother's Pretty

Happy Mother's Day.
I know I'm not the best son, but you're the best mom.

I feel like it's natural to feel like you're a disappointment to your parents. It sort of pushes you to be better, to be humble, to work hard to make someone, other than yourself, proud.

It's interesting to me how hard we work to "prove something" to our parents when most of the time they just want you to love them.

Right mom? You love me even though I'm a failure?



That's what I thought.
==

It's so sad, yet warm to see folks visit the cemetery during mother's day.

It's been 3 years since my grandma's death. When my brother prays.. I really think it's well thought out... I think he was most effected by her passing.

I'm absurdly lucky.

When You Are Constantly Reminded.

I sat down to eat with my parents and their friends. And almost immediately, this woman erupted about how ACCUTANE saved her life. BLAH blah blah. How the side effects they talk about are crap because why would be depressed if your skin looks good. BLAH BLAH.

Oh and my Hairdresser also gave me some skin tips that I didn't ask for while cutting a hole in my hair.

Like... I don't let my acne keep me from going out, from being social, from flirting... but this is just ridiculous.

SO.. Accutane, let's give you a try. I hope I don't get suicidal.

==

*edit*

I sort of want to keep my acne... to sort of test people ... and to meet folks who are more interested in other things rather than being fixated on my skin.

Joe just called me and warned me about the emotional roller coaster that I would be riding. Hmmm... I'm going to take this as a challenge and see how much in control, I believe myself to be.

Aggressive Drunk

I'm rolling at the ridiculous drunk text messages I sent last night.

"You're so cute. It's like when Europe meets Asia. An Earthquake happens, it's art."

"When you touch my body, it's ridiculous."

"I think about you when I sleep. You're so cute."

"Hugs & Kisses. In a straight way. Cuz you dope. Dat Gurl u wit is hot. Tap dat shit."



I know.. right. OMG.

==

Oo.. I ran into a straight friend.. and we were having a good time bumping shoulders. Hehe.. I love bro dancing!

==

And I got a haircut. I showed them the picture below. I know, i Know... different textures, why am i trying to be something I'm not.. I was hoping. Anyway. All I got's to say is... it's an interpretation of it.

Cute Boy in Class

Cute boy in class.

Step 1: Is he gay?
-Handwriting, really pretty and bubbly
-Voice, sort of gayish... sort of
-Facial Expressions, corky

Step 2: Is he interested?
-Smirked at me when he heard my Power Rangers ringtone...
-That's all...

ugh. He's so cute.
But one problem, he was wearing a t-shirt that one of my exes also has. WTF. Of all the clothing to own.



Next week I'll try to talk to him. I wonder what that silver ring on his middle finger means.

April Recap

Not so productive.
Besides Gyming it up. Aaron and I have been regulars and we see a lot of other regular faces. We've decided to nick name them.

There is this really buff dude who wears a huge t-shirt with the sides missing. The holes are so big you can see his body muscles... especially his C cup pecs. We call him: Side Boob.

==

ANYWAY: April Recap in no order

My Cousin's Wedding Convention.
I ran into Yul Kwon and that guy from Myth Busters. I was too shy to ask for a picture.

So basically, my event planner cousin invited all of her vendors (photographers, caterers, ice sculptors, flower arrangers) to display their services. And about 600 folks came to see what "their wedding could look like." There were also models to show off wedding dress designs. The event was so beautiful.


7 Bamboo with Carl!
This place has character! Some country music, rock, pop and salsa! All different folks gather to sing in public while doing sake bombs. Love this place.


I successfully made the crowd cringe with my interpretation of Cher's "Believe"


In the City with Carl and Will :D


I love people watching with friends and talking about nothing.

Hanging out with Berkeley Folks.


I love culture shows. And I love how Christine fell asleep on my "inner thigh pillows!"

Willow Glen with Caitlin
We invented a new dessert call the LeHeart: Strawberry & Cookies & Creme Gelato.


Indian Food in Berkeley with Damien

He doesn't like to be in the spotlight. So here's the food we ate. He's a vegetarian, which is good because it forces me to eat more interesting things! It went well with the Indian Culture show we just watched.

Last Sushi Buffet with Carl

Seriously... we eat so much

Easter Egg Hunt with Caitlin's Family

I love Caitlin's family. They invite me over for their annual hunt. We decorate the eggs, the parents hide them and (before the recession) they would give us a quarter per egg. Then they made deviled eggs! How all American.

==

Two of my Spikey Haired Asian friends said to me.. "Your hair is so... ASIAN!" Are you shitting me? Their hair was more "ASIAN" than mine... Do you mean... ugly? old fashioned? long? strange? something my mom gave me?

My reaction should have been "really? Aww thanks!" Because. I'm Asian, I'm glad I look "Asian."

I think to resolve this, I should embrace those comments as compliments.... and respond with a thank you!

Hairchive
The "only thing ASIAN about it is that I AM ASIAN... thank you"