I haven't really dated in a while. I was beginning to wonder if there's something very unattractive about me that repel boys. I don't think I have the best physical features and this is reinforced when folks say I look like such and such. And such and such looks like a dinosaur/horse.
Even with my skin clear, my fashion updated, and gym results showing, I wonder if I would look any better. Joe says I have a commercial smile, Antony says I should keep my bangs because I could sell ad vertising space on my forehead, MoAny reminds me to keep my track jacket zipped so that my gut doesn't hang out. I don't think I'm that ugly. But I have those moments.
I feel at times my personality is inadequate... but I like to make you laugh with my pop culture references. In the back of my mind I am begging that you know what I'm talking about!!
If I'm uninterested, I come off as an obnoxious friend, if I am interested, I come off as a creeper. So I stay neutral. I also know that my lost ambition is unattractive. My confusion, depression, hyperinsomina... boys in their mid twenties are beginning to be more selective. They date with a filter: bad teeth? NEXT! no goals? NEXT! janky car? NEXT! Plans to buy a house? COME HITHER! .... and what you say in your profile becomes so important.. word for word. (That is if you are dependent on your internet social network.)
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Speaking of Social Networking I got this message off A4A:
No daddies? You are missing out on some great [censored word] from experienced guys that could turn your world up side down. Think about it. Would you forget the daddy thing if you were offered money for it, say 100.
I gagged... the guy is 65 and according to his profile he preys at my local Starbucks checking out the fresh meat or "sweet candy" that walk out of Santa Teresa high school. Omg omg omg. To top it off, he's a retired teacher. He looks like Herbert from Family Guy. HE IS HERBERT FROM FAMIY GUY!.
God, why do I even have a profile? OMG. *CLOSE WINDOW!!!!!!!!*
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I also got a message from this guy off downelink:
This is random, but I just passed your profile and thought you be a cool person to add and get to know. Anyhow, my name's Andrew, but lots of people call me Philip.
So I responded: What exactly about me do you think is cool? And he never responded. I checked out his profile: "1774 friends." Ridiculous and generic friend request. Who is this kid? And why is he posting child porn.
OMG I should forward his profile to HERBERT!
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No wonder folks choose to avoid these sites, folks choose to avoid the gay community in general. No wonder people are ashamed and stay in the closet. Pedophiles and social shouldn't-be-shirtless whores galore. Why would anyone want to be associated with this?
Sigh.
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Anyway
I think I'm going on a date with the guy from my dorms I recently reconnected with (from Dragon, =.=). That's Legit dude. Too legit to quit. Though, I feel like we're going too fast... Huan said, "well, that's your fault Chris, you have to be in control."
I also feel like because he's new(er) to the scene, my negatives and dino-like/horse-like appearance don't matter much to him. *shrugs* But he makes me smile because he's awkward... and "shy." And he's already had a boyfriend and has been dumped. Those are necessary experience points!
11 comments:
OMG!!! close window is correct! that's soo disgusting! but worry lovah, even straight guys are like that...i wish u luck w/ the "too legit to quit" guy :)
Ahaha...your writing style is absolutely hilarious. If you're this expressive in person, I doubt you have to worry about looking like you walked out of Jurassic Park...(and I don't think you do :P)
hey Chris, so totally random again I know but a while back you were going through that Shingles shit and I sent you a message on dlink saying to cheer up and not to let the shallow guys who only saw the scars get you down, I'm sorry I didn't reply, I don't use dlink too often but didn't want to end up like the person in this post.
and dinosaurs can be VERY cute, you just have to know where to look =D ok, maybe not the best pic of Gabu but you get the message http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3222/2812741373_e6eeed1391.jpg?v=0
for what it's worth, I think you're really cute *blush*
hmm... that was odd, why is Blogger linked to my GMAIL? UGH...
Some boy, someday, will love you for exactly who you are. From what I've been reading your hilarious and entertaining.
Herbert is creepy. That guy also added me on downe! They should hookup, I doubt either of them are getting any.
Good luck with your guy! I think your right about needing to be dumped, my guy keeps telling me he's afraid I'm going to find someone way hotter... and dump him like his first bf did...
Sorry for not chatting with you more! I was on webcam with previously mentioned guy.
Judging by the numerous pics here, I'd say you do not even look remotely horsey.
:-)
BTW, I just added ya' to my blog links, in the "Young Adult" section.
Sounds like the guy that messaged me within a couple of hours of creating an account on a supposedly decent dating site... his profession? Slave.
Herbert is a nasty creep ... and a cheap or broke creep if he can only afford $100! LOL ... then again why do some people think that a money offer will all of a sudden make others consider them? He should just save some $$ and hire an escort ... Ugh.
Personally, one of the biggest issues on any guy is insecurity.
We all are insecure at some level but if it is too obvious I think it is a turn off to others.
I mean consider what kind of guys do people usually find attractive and one of the qualities is self confidence (not to be confused with arrogance).
Now ... neither you nor I may be A&F catalog material but you've go your charms ... just be more natural and worry less about your attractiveness ... you'll look better if there's no self doubt.
social networking is such a pain...i tend to give people who add me trial sessions, to see if they ever talk to me after adding me as a friend. i usually end up deleting them off my list.
you're a nice guy, out going, good personality...if people look pass that than they're not worth your time. looks is not all that matters, those things eventually disappear.
OMG, so that same guy friend requested me as well. I ignored his request and sent a one sentence reply along the lines of `my brother has the same major as you!!!` ...and a few days later I got this response:
"Question:
I was never raised to let other peoples opinions destroy me, and if it does, then overall I believe that would make you a very weak individual. Now I never really worried about this particular issue my whole life, just more so when I go on downelink and see the overall shallow nature of gay men. To me, I believe that there is more in person that just their physical appearance. some people may look better than others, and beauty itself is in the eye of the beholder. I feel that lately, this entire downelink site looks at me like I am below the standards to afftractive. I admit, there are so many people on here that call me "ugly" or just plain beg me to stop trying being cute because I am failing miserably. So when it comes down to it, do you find me to be an ugly guy? Do I look physically unattractive to you? "
Even though I read through it like a cry for attention I tried to be as encouraging as I could in 2 sentences, but more than anything I felt a bit sad at the superficiality of how some of us need to evaluate our self worth via head counts. :(
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