It May Sound Cheesy But...

...I'm getting shit done while listening to Jordin Spark's One Step at a Time.

January 15 is so important because it's when I'm supposed to get my license back. I feel like I take one step backward everyday that I sit in my room thinking "someday."

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I don't want to turn 24. I don't even act like I'm 23.

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I got my planner and it feels good. My old moleskine planner has a lot thoughts about my old relationships, a list of all the boys I've kissed and slept with and various other lists that should just be thrown out.

I feel so FRESH and SO Clean clean.

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Goals with DATES!
January 15th
- Get License Back
- Register for JC
- Find Volunteer Opportunity
January 30th
- Secure Job
February 15th
- Move Out
February 30th
- Visit Seattle


A lot to do before March.

I'm Watching You

You log onto the facebook and on the right bar of ads you see something familiar.

No, it couldn't be... but it is. Yes, I'm watching you.

I know what you're looking at Mary, and Jesus does too.

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From John Viet: Child Elopers
From Smyr: Internet Guitar Hero

Absolutely Beautiful

http://tiggahtigz.blogspot.com

If I Really Try...

...I can do this.

I spent the day at the coffee shop and found two perspective jobs.

INTEL in Vietnam and a LINKEDIN in Mountain View.

I can't stay home anymore. If I get any job, I'm moving out. Using that money that I earn and growing up.

2007... I partied a lot and transitioned well
2008... I partied a lot and got kicked in the balls
2009... let's grow up and THEN party a lot. What do you think? Sounds good.

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Grad School? Just another idea, but I don't have enough passion. There is NO fire in my eyes when I say.. I want to be a psychologist or social worker.

But there is FIRE in my eyes when I say: I want to MOVE OUT!!

What do I want in life?

To move out. To buy a new computer. To buy a new car, a JEEP to be specific. Yeah... Those are my dreams as of now.

I think that's what I need to be happy. Yes. To be less clingy on my parents and more CHINGY. MORE CHINGY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I SAID MORE CHINGY!

2009 - Less Clingy, More Chingy

It's so easy to be to be comfortable with your life: complacent.
But that's terrible.

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The holidays are over and my head is finally sitting straight on my shoulders. Yesterday, I deleted a phone number. Today, I unsubscribed from a blog and wrote a postit note to stick on my monitor: ONLY 1 HOUR ON AIM/GMAIL/GOOGLE BLOG READER.

Yesterday, I researched grad schools.

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My boys and high school friends are distracted by their own lives. My parents are out partying. My job at the law firm is done.

Where does that leave me? At home to further psychoanalyze myself... and to actually apply for things.

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I am clingy. Though, I'd rather be Chingy... RIGHT THURRR.



Clingy to boys who love/d me. Clingly to my cliques. Clingly the "good old days." Especially now since I haven't created anything new... all i can do is reminisce in my four wall prison.

This is my problem:

I hold on too tightly.
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Ahh yes, but a lot of folks act like it is... or rather HOPE that it is.

More Resolutions.
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2009, I pray that you're better. But in order for that to happen, I need to stop being so clingy to what was... and be more CHINGY to what will be! (But without the degradation of women)

Step One: Walk to the Coffee Shop with Laptop
Step Two: Fill out Therapy forms
Step Three: Update Resume
Step Four: Buy New 2009 PLANNER!

No Seriously, My Parents Party A lot

This is my dad singing the Monster Mash for Halloween, he is Two-face.
And my mom is the sexy pirate. Those are their middle aged friends who aren't as cool.


Yeah... They were partying in Santa Barbara on 1st and 2nd

What's next!?!? The Single Ladies Dance?!

Too Much Time = Too Much Thinking

I have the attention of a gold fish with one eye in a fish tank surrounded by T.V.s in an RV in Middle America.

But I try. I have this talent of falling asleep in mid paragraph or even mid conversation. It's not that YOURE boring, it's just that I'm bored.

And often enough, I have to prove to you that I really am a good listener by repeating what you had just said even though I didn't comprehend it. I hear words, not ideas.

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I have become more selfish this year. I remember in 2007, I bought more gifts, sent out more cards, made more phone calls. Selfish people get less in return even though they expect more.

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Last night a drunk guy from Hunter's grabbed me to dance with him. We danced closely and his hands traveled. He reached for my crotch and I grabbed his wrist and pulled sternly like a woman avoiding rape.

I dance, I grind... but I don't rape. I always ask permission...even for a kiss. I dance sensually, yes, but my hands stay on your back or the loops of your jeans. I don't dig for treasure. I felt so violated.