Love Me the Way I Are

At this point, I should be beyond being interested in curious straight guys, guys in the closet, guys who don't really know what they want.

I would like to hold hands with you while walking down the street and lean my head on your shoulder if I sit next to you. I'm so surrounded, so submerged in gay life that ... gay life is... life...

And that feeling of being gay and excited because you're combating social norms has escaped me because being gay has become my social norm.

==

So why do I like straight guys? Guys that would probably suffocate the life style that I have comfortably adapted? Guys that hurt me because they're only there 60% of the time?

"why would you guys like someone who you won't be able to get...is it like liking celebrities?"

In a way, we like what we can never have. Especially when we get a taste.

But at the same time, gay people have discovered that it's more trouble than it's worth. "I'd never date anyone in the closet." Why? Because they are done with that stage of their life, there is no need to return. Gay, Proud... why suffer again to come out?

==

And so... "out" has become a prerequisite. Or at least it should be, but I'm hesitant. I don't want to limit myself to these rules I've garnered made to protect me.... "makes me laugh, tall, successful, culturally conscious, non abusive, honest, at least 21...." I'd rather listen to my foolish heart and fall in love with any bum who's not "right for me." I like my heart to surprise me.

Why do you like him? ... because.... he's him.

And even though I say I like boys who sound funny, who look like cats... any boy who would love me the way I love him would do just fine.... love me the way I are.


... but that's what I say now... before that idiot does something really wrong... then it's back to dating with my eyes open.

(I think I need to reinstall love)

Tolerance & Awkward Boners

Now that you feel empowered... check out these awkward boners.

Innocence

Where do I reclaim my innocence?

Underwater Camera

Before I do an April recap, here's a throw up of awesome underwater shots!












Still kids........

Lambda

I guess it was a date. He paid for dinner.

This time, ladies and gentlemen, the guy was 26. Yes I have moved away from those dramatic little boys. I failed to heed my own warning. BTW the 19 year old is having some conflict with some love interest triangle that I'm glad I'm not a part of. But it's nice to hear him vent to me for advice.

He was your average San Jose Viet guy with a good job and a fade. He was a closeted Lambda with a nice bulky body, deep thug voice and rug burns from wrestling with his bros.

"So when people talk to you, can they tell you're gay?" He asked me online.
"No.. I'm just Asian, but I guess people eventually figure it out." Great... I have to use my Kragen voice all night. I know my gay boys would be laughing at me watching my interaction trying so hard to substitute my "HEEEEY's" with "Dude" and my "OMG's" with "That sucks man, not cool." *grunt*

"That's cool. You know, femmes remind me a lot of those Crazy Viet girls I've dated... loud and dramatic with all this excessive attitude."
"Hahaha."

Over the phone he sounded cool. He was a guy guy. He was a Azn Frat Bro. He was SO not my type. But I decided to give it a go... he was interested, why not?

==

Once again he was more attractive in person than his picture by a lot. God, he was such a Lambda, he was telling me about hazing and parties. The only common ground we had was "working out." Sort of. As we talked, I was trying hard to be "different from the guys he usually sees"... I wanted to actually be something interesting or worthwhile.

He invited me over after dinner. I was thinking dinner and a movie?
I had to sneak into his room and then.............. he turned off the lights (after showing me where to hide in the closet if his housemates were to wake up). I should have known.

When we were done, he asked me to leave because he was paranoid one of his housemates would wake up.

We became eachother's unsubstantial number.

==

And that was that.
I'm eventually getting it. My straight guy fetish has led me to "date" these dudes who just need a quick fix because their girlfriends are lacking something. It's not hot anymore... it's sort of sad.

I need to feel like I click with someone again, then hooking up would actually mean something and feel better than just a quick fix. But at least I had "tea & coffee" with him first... so it's legit.



==

SO that's how things work. You go on a date you find out there's no chemistry you invite them over to "collect something out of it." And you're done... no questions asked. OR You go on a date, hit it off completely get a good night kiss and look forward to actually having a relationship... and giving it up when the moment is right.

Hmm. Either way, I guess it's just fun to be dating.

Hmm

I have a date tonight.

he's so not my type.

BUT... let's give it a go.



bah, it may be just a fling. Sigh, I had to use my Kragen Voice for so long.

Zto RETURNS.... with a Rodent

Ok.



So Zto grew attached to this "fat bitch" he bought in Japan to keep him company while he was abroad for 3 months. So attached that he wanted to take her home...

So he smuggled over the hamster from Japan!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not kidding. Don't let this perpetuate gay stereotypes, but he stuffed it his pants through airport security.



NO Razors
NO Liquids
YES Rodents

"please unbuckle your pants..... is that cocaine? ......... o M G!!!!!!"
==

He also shipped EXTRA Cheesy Pringles and a Giraffe Notepad!
YAY! All is right now! I missed yah!