I Miss Straight Friends

"Aw yeah, that's one of my best friends. He's gay too. He's just like you.. chill and not flamboyant."

HAHAHAHA! Wait until you see me excited.

After chilling with my cousin and her posse of 30+ urban-Asian-American-north-san jose-Dave and buster folks from Independence/Piedmont, I realized that I miss hanging out with straight people. Man, they were all so nice and chill and my cousin was such a mess. She threw her gum on the floor and quickly picked it up before we were kicked out.


==

So.. thanks to my investigator, it is confirmed that doodling Craig from class is gay. YES
But also, he is taken. NO

GayDar = Epic Win
SingleDar = Fail Whale!

"hey... it's me"

While waiting for my rideshare I observed this guy who just arrived. He picked up his phone and dialed, "hey... it's me... hello?" Bad reception.

At what point in our relationship with others are we allowed to substitute our name with 'me?' It's not a guessing game, it's subtle sign that your voice is so important that by saying 'me' you're also saying...

"it's me... I miss you."
"it's me... I love you."
"it's me... remember that time...."
"it's me... I'm here for you."
"it's me... I'll never leave you."

This is the opposite of... "hey, I'm sorry, I got a new phone.. who is this?" Which translates to...
"I'm sorry.. you're not important enough to be transferred."

Just an observation.

.... God you're so cute.

I sat next to the cute boy in class today.
I flirted with him a lot, caught his name... asked him questions.

I observed his fingers... his hand writing.
I asked about his job, his career goals.

It was obvious that I was interested in him. I'm pretty sure he wasn't interested in me. How do I know? Aside from a couple of smiles, our conversation showed that he was more into answering questions about himself than asking something about me... a clear, yet subtle indication of disinterest.

I pointed to the shooting star he drew on his notes. "I like to doodle." He shrugged.
God he's so cute.

I finally asked his name.
"Craig"
"Chris..." we shook hands firmly. "Good luck on the test next week."
"heh.. yeah..." He smiled that adorable smile and I stumbled out of class.

And I repeated his name as I drove home.

Next week, I'll talk to him again, but I don't want to make moves. I already showed interested. I batted my eyes, played with my hair, twitched as if I was standing in front of someone I wanted to ask to prom.

If nothing is said, I'm going to wait for the last day of class... I have it planned.
"Um... Hey, I was wondering if you'd be interested in going on a date... or something."
"...heh... why do you think I like guys?"
"I don't... I'm just interested... and I hope you're interested back..."

And.. because it's the last day we both have an exit from such an awkward situation.


==

I've reaffirmed that pictures mean a lot to me. I'm realizing what pictures I've lost and I find myself having sort of a mild anxiety attack. I think... the policy that I place: "if there are no pictures, it didn't happen" I take too literally.

I fear that because I lose pictures, I lose memories. I feel like I am too sentimental and it has kept me from moving forward...

My hard drive is fucked, these back up DVD's are unreadable and it would take me days to upload what I have left on an overpriced photohosting site.

...this is my weakness.
Take my dog, but spare my photographs.

OMG and now this: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8060407.stm

GAM4GAM Generation

While hanging with LA gays. (JR saved me) I ended up in Long Beach where I had a discussion with other gays about the GAM4GAM (Gay Asian male 4 Gay Asian Male) Experience.

This is for my generation of gays. There was no downelink, but rather there was findapix (a website that enabled you to make a profile... a very limited profile and then folks rated you) and the term "downe" was becoming popular. Findapix was pre-myspace/frendster... findapix was very self indulgent. Findapix was the beginning of angled shots and good lighting.

I think this was my findapix "picture"

The emerging popularity of the internet during the late 1990's, early 2000's gave an outlet for tech savvy Asians to experience their interest in a subculture: gay and AZN PRIDEZ. (While trying to download music off Napster, Kazaa, Morpheous.. whatever)

Ah yes.. remember these AZN cartoons that reinforced the fashion and hairstyles?

That's how we "identified each other." By simply putting ~~**~***downe***~**~~ in our findapix profile, in our xanga, in our angelfire/geocities webpage.. we were able to meet others who we could identify with. And maintain a sort of secret society.

==

With AOL Chatrooms came:
a/s/l ?

16/M- Viet/ San Jose. Hi's were unnessessary. Info first.
and then you would have to type it again because it would get lost in the chatroom.
ROLL CALL!

These chatrooms would get full and folks would keep pressing the ENTER button because there was a number cap. Hopefully, someone would leave and they could join.

Our screen names were ethnically prideful and very symmetrical.... and apparently Angels and Dragons were our favorite creatures. .. And I think there was something wrong with the shift key

xoxAZNange1Babyxox
PiNoYFiRe84
lilVietbOilil
DrGn4Eva310


And with our doors closed and our mommies making dinner we discretely had conversations with Gay strangers from random parts of the US. There were those who were discrete and had nothing in their AIM profile. Others had all the information you needed.

We were eager to give out our phone numbers, but hesitant to make calls because we didn't want those numbers to appear on the phone record. "You sound cute.. let's talk on the phone." And we would freak out when our parents noticed that strange area code.

For those who took risks... phone sex was involved. (Let me remind you there were no webcams.)

With 56K, we were excited about the speed:
Be right back, my parents need to use the phone... this was an understanding and those who had two lines were very privelidged.

And with new computers we were capable of flirting confidently:
This is for you: @~~}~~~ 143

143 (I Love You in pager code... not 413 because I'm a FOB)
We were the generation between pager code and LOL.

==

I wonder if any of my readers in their mid 20s to late 20s know what I'm talking about.

I'm sure you remember Sandstorm:

Craigslist Ride Share.. cuz I'm a BOSS.

do i marry kokoum... steady as the beating drum?

Sandy has traveled through California using Craigslist Ride share for a while and I figured, I can do it to save myself some cash. I posted an ad, but no one responded.

Ride 1
I was set to go home via Vietnamese Bus for 40 bucks and waited at Union station when I got a call at 9:30am. This pleasant sounding girl and I agreed to meet in one hour for her to take me back to San Jose for 25 bucks (in response to my ad).

She didn't show up and I called her. "I'm sorry, we're late... we are stuck on the side of the road, but someone is getting us gas... we see the beach!!!... oh, do you know any one we can pick up in Santa Barbara?"
"Um.. we're stopping in Santa Barbara?"
"Yes, and Cal Poly SLO, i have to drop off mail.... anyway.. We are on our way, we will see you soon."
*red flag*

Ride 2
I get another phone call, "hello, are you still interested in a ride share. I'm going tomorrow. Straight up to San Jose." She sounded sweat and sane.
"I actually already have a ride, but I'm a bit hesitant.... the people seem a bit crazy."
"Oh geez... well, I'm normal and a college student. I'm just visiting my mom."
"Okay.. hmm.. you know what I think I'd rather go with you, but let me get back to you."

Ride 3
I get a third call, "YO, you still need a ride share?" He sounded thuggish.
"Maybe... when are you going?"
"I'm actually changing my tires.. then I'm gonna go." I think I heard him pull out a switch blade. 510 area code... oakland. he sounded a little scary.
"Um.. I think I have a ride. Thanks for calling."

====

Okay, caller number 1 was really late. It was 12. Two hours after our agreed time.... So I was thinking to myself. Why not have an adventure. Why not take the windy roads of 101 and pick up more strangers... but.. something doesn't feel right. Let's be cheap about this. So I called them back. "Hello?" A dude answers the phone.
"Hi.. who is this."
"Oh this is a traveling buddy.. sup?"
"So I was thinking, would it be okay if I knocked off 5 bucks? I mean you guys are 2 hours late and the girl didn't tell me you were going to make two other stops."
"Oh well.. she only has 30 bucks on her.. we're trying to make this work... and there was a miscommunication, she didn't realize that downtown LA was dense."
"Oh... um... so where are u guys from?"
"Idaho state, we took a trip to Mexico and tried to chill in California, but yeah.. we want to get out of here."
"Um.. cool. You know.. I don't think I'm feeling this ride share."
"We're almost where you are.. do you want us to say hi and bye to you or hello and good day."
I was stunned that he gave me such a snide response. "How about this, I'll call you back, you think about it."

I called back caller number 2. "I'd like to go with you tomorrow. Thank you so much."

Caller number 1 called back. "So we're on main street."
"Yeah, I'm really sorry.. I'm just not feeling this."
"Yo, it's okay man... we'll just keep heading north."
"alright thanks so much, good luck."
"No thank you."
"Okay.. bye now."
"no really thank you so much."
"it's cool."
"Thank you."

What a dick.

I felt like Pochantas in front of two river paths.

I'm really glad I chose Kokoum. The windy road of John Smith looked dangerous. Who travels California with only 30 bucks? Even though I was itching for an adventure. I didn't want to be obligated to dish out more than i needed to. Right. I think he was trying to make me feel bad by already getting there.. but I could tell by talking to him that I hated him.

And then I was stranded in downtown LA for one day. No worries, I found some gays to rescue me. (I love that)

==

Anyway. I got home safe with Caller number two... this awesome girl with Hairy legs and smelly pits. We drove up while she chomped on Carrots and listened to Norah Jones. (She recommended eating hot cheetos and cream cheese)
We had good conversations and both loved Giraffes and unagi.

She also introduced me to ChaCha. (242 242). It's a information service. Text that number and they will answer your question. Not robots, but actual people do the search for you. I decided to play with religion.

Question
"Would Jesus Vote No on Prop 8?"

Answer
"I personally believe that marriage should be between one man and one women. I think Jesus would feel the same way, He would have voted YES"

um.. how does your personally belief equal what Jesus would Do? Seriously.

==

Anyway. I'm back and tired and I love the Yay Area. LA sucks so much.

In LA

Yesterday I went to a 3 dollar Theatre.
Today I went on a Hike to see a waterfall.
Tomorrow... Santa Monica Beach.

Apparently, I've know Alysia for 10 years. Hmmm... I love just hanging out.

Texts From Last Night

This is the new FML. And ya'll know I can relate, yes I submitted.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com

Thanks Alex for the info!

==

My favorites (numbers are the area code)


(843): the red head has a bf
(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

This reminds me Aaron
(281): How do you jack off and text at the same time?
(1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that

(202): therell be strippers and coke right?
(703): no strippers. just coke.
(202): i hate this fuckin recession

(909): It's Friday. Sex?

(612): What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?

This one reminds me of Michelle N.
(651): Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.

(978): Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.

(507): I want your puppy
(507): I meant pussy
(612): I would rather you take my puppy

This reminds me of Anthony
(202): I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha