Letters of Rec

I asked for letters of recomendation and got them close to immediately.



They made me realize that one of my true strengths is definitely passion.

And because of passion, I am able to communicate to a variety of audiences because I internalize everything I dedicate myself to. But as a down fall, I am really sensitive.



It's interesting to see what others think of you. And it's motivating me to meet those expectations.



Hairchive: The Chunky Spikes

Bush Addresses National Threat

Family Matters

Yesterday, I took family portraits for my church directory.
My parents are really hot, check it out:



A couple of days before, I helped my cousin and aunt move out of their house. It's been really hard for them because that house has so much history. It's where everyone grew up. All my cousins, most of my aunts and uncles have attachments because of multiple memories. Because of numerous difficulties, my aunt who lived there had to give it up. I have memories of being a super hero and flying down the stairs on top of a mattress. I have memories of swimming in their giant pool and going underwater every time the train came to get the sensation that there was an earthquake underwater. I have memories of opening Christmas presents and Thanksgiving dinners, but every year the house full of people got less and less crowded, until there were only obligatory gifts under the tree instead of those purchased by a warm hearts.

I'm trying to be as helpful as possible, so I offer my truck to help them move things to storage. My cousin let me borrow her Acura in exchange, and it was quite amazing. I think I have developed an interest in driving other people's cars. For that moment you're on the road, you are them. From the minute you adjust their mirror, you are seeing what they see for a large portion of their day. You're listening to the music that they listen to and you're in their most comfortable and natural space. My cousin's car was absurdly clean, the seat was reclined and there was salsa music in the CD player. I felt like I was her coming back from salsa dancing and reclined because my muscles were so sore. I felt like I stepped into an intimate area of her life and because I was behind the steering wheel, it was as if I was her, driving home from a regular day. Amazing.



This is my dog, can you tell which end is which?

Downe and About

Being gay is actually one of the first things I describe myself as and it's difficult because I let that be the defining factor of how close I get to people. I respect people who know and approach me about it (like Sally). If you know I'm gay, it opens a lot of doors. It's kind of silly, but I act very differently around people who I think don't know and who I know, know even though I shouldn't.

Story: Hanging out with Smyr and his really straight friend Glenn. Glenn goes, "Yeah, I was a sophomore! I shouldn't have been working so much, in fact, I should have been knee-deep in pussy!" I respond in the DEEPEST voice possible, "OH I know what you mean!" *grunt*

God I was so disgusted. Anyway...

It's hard for me to say... "hey, you probably do, but I just want to check, do you know I'm gay? because I want to share with you my real thoughts."

So, if you want to get close to me, because I want to get close to you, please tell me: "Chris, you're gay, I know, duh... now stop smiling and tell me about yourself."

But at the same time, it's cool having a secret, even though, really, it's not a secret... at all.

You know I'm gay, right? But not just for the amazing sex, I enjoy the culture and underground community. That's really the best way to dabble in multiple organizations at Cal because you know... most of them are gay.. right? Open your eyes people.

BTW, if you're a straight guy with a sexy voice please flirt with me.

Check out the GAY-O-Meter
http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/G/gayometer/gayometer.html
How GAY are you? I'm 36%! Despite what you think!

Exposing Weakness

I am an idealist when it comes to certain things. I imagine movie like moments, picture perfect kisses, and dramatic endings. But my life isn't a movie and if it is it would be like "BRATZ." I find myself so disappointed when things don't go the way I day dreamed.

I have rules, definitions of ideal friends and events. But not everything is so cookie cutter and it's so difficult for me to realize that. But I'm trying. It's hard because there is so much pride in the way. I respect those who do not have such expectations and live in the moment the way it plays out; people that don't let their weaknesses rule them. They can look at reality, come to a conclusion, and follow through. They look at their choices and hesitate not to pick the most realist decision that result in the best outcome leaving pride behind them. Bravo to you, I commend you.

Hairchive time:

The Underwater Fuzz!

Gifts

Tonight at the banquet, I was given multiple gifts that I truly do not deserve, but I will accept all of it.

1. The Gift of Company
-I was surrounded by people who showed me how much they appreciated me even though I don't deserve any of it.
-Asya and Christina came despite the fact that they didn't know most of the people there. They have been there time and time again even though we barely communicate, when they are asked to come, they come... with alcohol.
-Tika and everyone gave me the best hugs ever
-Eric let me wrap my arms around him for longer than the usual American hug greeting
-Tofu jumped out the car in front me and joined me in my car in the middle of the road because I felt lonely.

2. The Gift of Flowers
-Sally and Colleen bought me flowers. They selected those that reminded me of them: Sunshine! Brilliant.
-Trinh bought me a boutonniere to match my semi formal outfit!

3. The Gift of laughter
-Michelle and Dina got me out of a bad mood. They made me laugh and reminded me how much I loved their company

4. The Gift of Generosity
-Tofu offered to pay for my AAA fee, which is really nice considering that I have been using invisible money to pay for my gas, dinner, and parking
-Katie and Brian offered to let me crash at her place because I was feeling tired

5. The Gift of Pictures
-If I had a good camera, I would have taken pictures with everyone in the room. But my mind was set at ease as people asked to take pictures with me with their camera. I am important enough for them to remember.
-Tofu gave me a picture that he collaged in a frame; images that reminded me of great times I've had with him.

6. The Gift of Words
-Trinh made a toast dedicated to me and Tofu
-Sally told me that I showed her how to care and that she couldn't image next year without me
-Kevin listened to me when I needed to vent and told me things I needed to hear
-Vincent and Colleen told me that I was always welcome at their places
-My name was called when I walked into the room as if I was missed
-I was touched, but I felt rude. I felt as though I stepped into a banquet for someone else because I didn't expect any of it.

I don't know. I wished I had helped plan the banquet with Trinh because she deserves it more than me or Tofu, yet she did all the work. I wish I invited people, but I let Tofu invite people for me and as a result, I left people out. I wished I walked around to talk to people like Tofu did, but I was distracted by so much selfishness. Despite all of that, it was an evening in which I received so many gifts that it will take me a while to unwrap them and put them in my room. I can't thank everyone enough, especially Trinh for their gifts to me. I feel like a spoiled child who deserves a spanking rather than all the gifts under the Christmas tree.

Bad Moods

A number of things can get people into a bad mood.
An injustice, a rude remark, hunger, heat, disrepect; like taste in music, it varies from people to people what cues set them off, but the question is: how do you get out of it?

Fresh air, deep breaths, jokes, venting- that's a good one, but sometimes it's not enough.
And a bad mood can ruin important evenings, relationships because they destract from larger pictures and goals. Sometimes people feel justified by their mood and let it rule themselves, others may not even know why but let it continue to destroy their time anyway, and sometimes people feel justified, but realize that its important to not let their mood affect their evening and try and try and try to snap out of it, but can't.

How do you get yourself out of a bad mood? When understanding that it's important not to let it affect your time isn't enough to snap you out of it?