Seattle 2014

It was an impulsive purchase, but we snagged cheap plane tickets to Seattle and made it an extended weekend trip.  There was one nice day, but the rest of the time was gloomy.  But that's Seattle for you, rain and clouds.

I would probably enjoy living in Seattle.  I discovered that everyone in the Pacific Northwest is beyond friendly.  So nice and approachable.  As an Angelino I always have my guard up assuming everyone has a motive including myself.  It was refreshing to see people being polite, smile and put others before themselves.

We were major tourist.  This is what happens when you ask an old couple to take our photo in front of the space needle.  #nailedit

Pike's Public Market is a foodie's dream.  We went on a SavorSeattleTour.com and we were pleasantly surprised by the things that we consumed.

• Salmon jerky
• Clam Chowder
• Tea
• Fresh donus
• Sandwiches
• Crab Cakes

It kept coming.  I realized the value of the tour.  If we had gone on our own we would have missed all of these wonderful places.  They also took us to this hidden public balcony pictured above. I highly recommend doing this tour, but look for a groupon-like deal!  

Charles also caught a fish, but I'm sure he's use to large slabs of meat flying at his face.  

This is such a great market.  I would fly back to Seattle just to hang out here during the day.  And to stuff my face.  Clam chowder will never be the same now that I've tasted Seattle's.

On the first night we discovered Purr Cocktail lounge.  This place was large, but had a local vibe.  On the third floor is this great hang out place that's perfect for board games or smoking hookah.  Look at those Indonesians.

We noticed these two gay guys following Erik.  Out of the bar they introduced themselves.  This is where Ern interjected. "By the way... he has a boyfriend."  In the sassiest voice ever.  I clutched my pearls and dashed across the street; I was so embarassed.  "What?!  I don't want to waste anybody's time."  Ern declared.  The boys walked back in awkwardly.  Seattle, meet LA gays.

We checked out R Place which was 18+ but the music was good and there was a hot Viet/Italian Gogo boy that had our attention.  He WERQ for his monAYY.

What do you do when you don't have reservations on Valentines Day?  Pray for good luck.  I logged on to Open Table and found a slot for 5 at 10PM at Skillet Diner.  BOOKED!  I was getting discouraged too, but this gem popped out of no where.

Mmmm really good fried chicken.  And what's this cocktail?  "hey girl.... heeeeeyyy"  I'll have two.  

We used Uber to get around.  We felt like stars.

Another night at Neighbors we found the only other group of gaysians and clung tight.  Just kidding.  We met up with Fobert who we knew from Berkeley.  We haven't spoken in years, but he was so sweet and welcoming. Must be that Pacific Northwest Hospitality!  By the way, people wait in line for the bartender... what!?

Charles and I wandered the empty streets.  Capital Hill is a cluster fuck later at night with so many bars and young people.  We saw a fight broke out.  Charles and I.. somehow ended up at this After Hours club where everyone looked drugged up.  Abort missiones!  We also all experienced a Seattle dog which has cream cheese in it.  Meh.  I like my LA Dirty Dogs.  Check out Charles conquer the bed meant for 5 after we pushed them together.

We missed out on checking out the library because it wasn't open, but we got a good glimpse of the outside.   We also got Serious Pie which was high in our to-do list. Yum!  Such a long painful wait thought.

Thanks for fun Seattle!  Eat you out later!

Valentine's Day 2014

I like him.  Happy Valentine's Day.
3rd year doing hot pot.  Muah.

What do Gay Horses Eat? - Preparing for a House Party

I'm preparing for a Lunar New Year's party tonight at the house with 40 accepted gaysians on Facebook.  I cut back on my usual party spend and really evaluated everything I bought.  Price comparisons, traveling around town - I wanted to make sure I got the best deals on decorations and liquor.

Last week, during the Chinese New Year parade in Chinatown, I found a really cheap lantern store selling 10 inch lanterns for a dollar each or 12 for $10.  But I still wanted to haggle since I was buying $25 worth of things which includes these two very gay looking horses....perfect.

I used my usual sales voice, "could you give me a discount for good luck for the new year?"
The store owner countered, "I should be charging you more for the new year so that I make more money!"  I laughed and she rounded down the price by a dollar.  I was distracted by people walking back and forth and responded, "I'll take it!"

Charles looked at me and I knew what he was thinking, I did a terrible job at haggling.  But whatever.  I spent $24 on lanterns and gay horse decor for our gay horse new years party and I was pretty happy with it.

While putting up the lanterns today, I realized that I wanted more.  And I justified that $10 was worth making the hallway look amazing.  I drove back to the store where another worker reminded me that I could buy 12 lanterns for $10.  I wanted to get a deal this time.  The owner came out and I asked her if she remembered me.  She said she did.

I negotiated - "could I get these lanterns for $10?"  She refused and I negotiated by taking out two mid sized lanterns and traded it for a smaller one.

She agreed... but reluctantly.  With a smile she said, "don't come back here."
"... you don't want me to come back? what if I want to buy more?"  She was quiet, but still had a smile.
"Alright.. I'll just go to another store." I handed her my $10 bill and walked out confused.  I did the math and at the end I didn't really get a deal because the 2 free lanterns that I would have gotten for buying $10 was traded in for one large lantern that was worth $1.75 - Essentially, I was short changed by $.25.

I read the reviews on yelp while contemplating my own unwritten review and found this statement "The shop owner lady is real nice. She's one of the few nice vendors you'll come across." And I began to dissect what happened.

She didn't like me. She probably felt like I was out to cheat her even though I spent $34 on paper and sticks.  But what could I do or say about this?  She didn't like my energy and asked me never to come back which is what I've done to many people who rubbed me the wrong way in my house.  I guess the spirit of bargaining in Chinatown was misinterpreted as theft and I'm left feeling like a white person who inadvertently insulted and took advantage of someone... with nothing left to do but wonder if I should have left a larger tip... because that would make things right.

Anyway - 2014 is starting out pretty rough, but I am pleased and humored at myself regarding other things.  I found this huge branch on the sidewalk in the warehouse district and put in my backseat with it sticking out the window.  I drove carefully because any car driving to my left would get scratched by the branches.  That night I hung red envelops while listening to the Mulan soundtrack in Chinese.

It hangs above the stairway.  It's perfect.

To add to that a new friend made us lanterns FROM SCRATCH.  He said he won't be coming to the party because large groups overwhelm him, but this is his contribution.  I'm pretty thankful.

When all is done, I just want to drink and play games.

Eating Out - January 2014

I'm really lucky to have a food companion.  Jimmy and I go on tons of food adventures and together we Eat out LA until all parties are completely satisfied.  We have our favorite spots like Kula Rotating Sushi bar to get our $2 plate fair quality fix.  We enjoy the occasional burger adventure like checking out the signature Umami Burgers from each locations.  We also do a lot of breakfast spots like Square One at the Boat House.  Nothing makes me happier.

I'm all over Yelp!   And I'm actually pretty impressed with what I consumed in January.  Here we go!

• Mess Hall -  New American, Meh
• Thai Lai - Vietnamese, Hawthorne, CA
• Viet Place... forgot the name, but they had a great clam salad
• Marugame Monzo - Japanese Udon, Negitoro Bowl, Little Tokyo, LA
• The Roof on Wilshire - Mediocre brunch, amazing view, LA
• Kanpai Ramen - Don't get tomato ramen, Glendale, LA
• Raffis Place - Middle Eastern, Glendale
• Tribal Cafe - For creative juices, sandwiches, grungy, LA
• Neri's - Filipino Breakfast, Westlake, LA
• Bea Bea's - Breakfast, Burbank
• Noodle House in Ktown - for Jajameon, I can't find the name, but the portions are huge!
• The Grids - Waffle Shop, Alhambra, CA

Vision

I tried daily contacts and unfortunately wore them from 9AM to 2AM.  I had issues pealing them off my eye because the material was much thinner and my eyes were so dry.  It felt like I was trying to remove a piece of my eye with my fingers.  When I finally got it out, it felt like a scratch.  Oh fuck, I thought to myself, I must have scratched my cornea.  I looked up the heal time on line - 3 days, cool - I'll wait it out.

It felt like a piece of sand was trapped in my eye.  As the day went on I was very light sensitive.  I heard my mom's voice echo in my mind, "don't mess with your vision...." So I visited the optometrist across the street whom I found on Yelp.  Thanks Yelp!

As it turns out I actually had an eye infection...  a corneal ulcer - a divot on the top layer of my eye.  How terrifying, but only 4 drops of Tobramycin a day and it should clear up and I can wear contacts again and feel more confident in my looks in a week.

Wearing glasses to me is like wearing PJs - You wear them in the house or when ever you're lazy, but if you want to look your best you put on a pair of jeans.

Anyway, I returned to the optometrist to find that my eye has not completely healed after a week.  Which indicates a deeper scar. To prove this, my tech savvy optometrist took a picture of what he was seeing with his iPhone to share with me.

here's looking at you kid

That spot near the center of the black part of my eye is the scar that needs to heal before I can wear contacts again otherwise I'll get another inflammation.  Glasses for a a month.  UGH.

This what happened:

I have naturally dry eyes and my monthly Biofinity contacts were so moist and thick that I didn't have any issues; I've slept with them on until 3AM where I'm forced to remove in order to have a good nights sleep.  The dailys were cheaper and thinner and DRYER so my eye couldn't clear out the bacteria and particles when blinking.  The dry contact created a 9AM to 2AM environment for the infection to fester.... or it was all coincidence and I was bound to get this infection due to my terrible contact lens habits.

Point of the story:  Don't fuck with your vision and check out that cool picture of my eyeball.

Will You Still be Proud of Me?

Back in October I printed out two pictures for my cubical.  A picture of my parents from when they were in Europe and a picture of me and Jimmy during Chinatown Summernights.

I noticed that most people had pictures of people they loved to personalize their space; siblings, offspring, significant others.  My space was personalized by work thank you cards, work trinkets from coworkers who came back from vacation and tupperware for catered lunch leftovers.

I wondered to myself why I didn't do this sooner.  I'm completely gay at work; I've gone gay clubbing with my manager.  Why don't I put up photographs to remind myself who makes me happy which includes my boyfriend of 3 years.  And it helps with storytelling - I can simply point to these pictures when I describe a weekend with Jimmy or a phone call with my mom.

===

I'm on my parent's phone plan, but I help pay for my data.  My mom automatically withdraws $50 from my account and texts me, "took $50 this month" just to let me know.

One day I told her, "why don't you take $100?"
"No, Son, that's your money."
"I insist... I can afford to help you."
"Thank you so much.  Okay.  I'll take $100"

Later that week while talking to her in heavy LA traffic she told me that my dad was upset.

"Why would you take money from Christopher!?!"  She quoted my dad.  I laughed. I told her that I wanted to help and I'm not doing anything with the cash so she should take it.

Her response was surprising, "that means a lot to us... it really shows me that you care about your mom and dad and it's so valuable." To me... I was just handing money aside because I didn't need it... to my mom it represented a lot more and I felt so silly for never offering until just last year.

I felt like she was really proud of me and I did something right without intentionally trying. It was a wonderful feeling.

==

Over Christmas break my mom asked if all of my cousins knew "about me."  Instead of "gay" should would replace the word/idea with... "about me" or "like you."  For instance, "are all your friends 'like you?'"  Or "you should keep that part 'about you' to yourself."  As if there was something "about me" that could not be described or understood... that piece of me was not normal.

I confirmed with her that all of my cousins knew "about me" and I used that as opportunity to ask about my dad.

I asked my mom, "does Dad know 'about me'?"
"Yes."
"How"
"Facebook."

I tried to think how Facebook outed me... I remembered that my public profile picture was of me and Jimmy with a giant heart around it during the Prop 8 dance.  When I posted it, I didn't care.  But I guess my Dad saw it.

"So should I talk to Dad about it?"
"No.. give it time, he's really sad... but of course he still loves you, but he's sad... don't be too obvious on facebook"

I nodded like I understood that I needed to be sensitive.  After that conversation, I felt as if I finally came out to my dad without really coming out to him.  The giant pink elephant in the room has a boyfriend... and all assumptions are now a reality... but there's still silence.  And I accepted that time will make things better and I can talk to him... eventually.  I enjoyed that facebook did the work for me.

===

I talked to Joe about this... once again while I was in thick LA traffic and he gave me some perspective.  He intentionally and proudly sealed the deal on his coming out movement with a facebook profile picture captioned, "Answer: Yup" on national coming out day.  He had been out to his parents for years already and couldn't understand why I wasn't since I know for a fact my parents would still love me.

He said something along the lines of how time will not heal... and it would beneficial to talk to my dad immediately so that the time in silence would instead be used as time to accept that being gay is actually not abnormal.  I can show my dad that being gay is wonderful and that I'm really happy with my lifestyle and because of this he shouldn't be ashamed, embarrassed or sad.

.....however....

If I told my dad today he will nod his head and simply say, "I know and I still love you."  Which is where most successful coming out to parents stories end.  But I dream of the day where my parents say that they are proud of me; every single thing "about me."  

Did I turn out to be everything you hoped and dreamed for? Am I the person that you would proudly show off to others?  If you passed away, would you be happy with the legacy that you created?

If I told you I was gay would you still love me be proud of me?
I don't think you would; which makes coming out impossible.

Looking Forward to a Normal New Year

There's something satisfying about planning an efficient night.  During New Years Eve, Ern jokingly called me Mom because of all the logistical work that I handled for the evening.

12 people to manage. I ordered enough pizza that everyone enjoyed.  Tried out a new drinking game to agitate our livers, got a taxi to downtown, snuck in flasks (but double checked if security was going to pat us down by asking people on instagram who were already there #nyeLA), found the free bus to take us home safely.

I called my trusty Korean gypsy cab that charged us $10 a car to drive our drunk asses 2 miles to Grand Park where they were having their first ever New Years Celebration. We were among 18,000 people - they had to shut the entrance at 11:00PM because we were at max capacity. It was a success because we properly prepared, otherwise there was just a lot of lines, awkward music and sober cold people.  What made it interesting were the hand full of art installations that made for fun pictures.

Though the count down was a little anti climatic for me since we were in the PG section of the park and I was hoping for fireworks.

The holidays - a lot of things and feels during this awkward time.  So much work to finish or people you're obligated to see... or no one to see and too much time allotted.  Sickness, sadness, connection, love, appreciation.  There's just a lot going on and for the most part people are just shivering from the cold.

The only thing missing was Jimmy, but I wore the shirt he bought me for Christmas  - and we celebrated the morning of over ramen and a new coffee shop.   Things were normalizing - Jimmy has been struggling with this lately since his father was admitted into the hospital... "he will never be the same"  - I could hear Jimmy saying sadly.  I could also hear Jimmy crying out his brother's name over the phone when he heard the news which really stabbed at my heart.  For about 2.5 weeks Jimmy has been by his dad's side in the hospital to support him.   10 hours a day at the hospital was draining him, but when I saw Jimmy - he was happy.  It was as if he was able to escape the stress and just have a normal day with his boyfriend.

What does it mean to normalize?

For us, it means sleeping together at night.  Eating together during the day.  And finding something new to brag about like a coffee shop.  And with his family needing him right now, it's been hard for him to normalize since he's worried about therapy and insurance.  Thankfully his dad on route to full recovery.

Jimmy told me that he can't wait for the holidays to be over and now I understand what he meant.  And I agree with him because I'm looking forward to spending every normal day of 2014 with him.

Happy New Years!  Time to catch up!

Pictures taken from Instagram - photographer credit in the file name


The countdown: