3.5 Years

See those drawings on the top of the page? Well, my boyfriend of 3.5 years drew them for me. I've never met someone so talented. I am not exaggerating when I say that he can do anything he wants and be successful, except dancing because I'm better. Jk. And that's why he's so sexy. Driven and passionate... I would give him the world to keep him in my arms... but, I don't even have a job... I don't have anything to offer him to keep him with me.

He's leaving for the JET program and shit, that's far. I hate to say it because it is so cliche, but his hand fits mine perfectly. I adore everything about him, even his feet; and I can gaze into his eyes forever. I don't dream when I sleep next to him because being next to him is a dream all together; even though he sweats a lot. And talking to him on the phone is like pressing pause on life... well until I get pulled over because I can't drive and do other things with out hitting everything in and out of my path.

He says we need to grow and the relationship needs the opportunity to evolve into something more than just comfortable. It's appropriate that he's leaving for so long that we'll try not to depend on each other so much... it's just brilliant. Well, not seeing him for 2 weeks was difficult enough, but it helped me adjust to my own growth as a person (supposedly). I'm pretty sure that we won't be able to stay committed because of the hot Japanese farm boys in the little town he's moving to. And I'm pretty sure I can't stay committed because of all the desirable straight boys throwing their bodies at me in San Jose 24/7. But no matter, my claw will only fit his because he's my lobster. And after everything we'll be the first of your gay friends to get married, but your friends aren't invited because you doubted us. BUT if we don't stay together, we'll stay good friends and you're invited to our house to hang out because you do anyway.

And that's what's up.

A New Chapter

So a new chapter of my life begins and I am not ready to turn the pages.
To see old pages of my life please visit http://www.xanga.com/letopho

My friends in my clique, Alysia and Smyr, have both discovered what they want to do next: research and education. I have an education minor and my major implies that I do extensive research, but somehow none of that appeals to me. As of now, I have made a comfortable living back at home with mom, dad, and little brother. It's not too bad, I have my own room downstairs and everything is taken care of for me... but where's my independence? I guess I left it back in Berkeley at my beautiful apartment. I liked paying bills and having friends over and doing whatever the hell I wanted with the space given to me. But I lost it all when I didn't find a job.

While everyone was looking, I was focusing on a passion: acting and dancing a cultural production. Maybe not a passion, but rather a hobby to distract me from real life for a short while. I sort of wish that I didn't go to Berkeley because now the bar is raised. I am expected from others and myself (especially) to get a decent job with this decent Bachelor's in Arts in Interdisciplinary Studies. Woo Hoo, so amazing. Whatever.

I figure, I have my youth to live and work can wait. But it's been a month and I'm done with this vacation. I had one interview and the Vice President could SMELL that I was the wrong fit. Well, to hell with you because you're right, I would have hated my job. But you know what? Who doesn't hate their first job?

Summer has been exciting as a 22 year-old in San Jose. The night life is pretty impressive if you got a 10 in your pocket, gas to spare, and some friends that are really light-weight. And I guess I AM looking forward to a couple of things: The Bar in SF 80 Cent Drinks to 80's music! on Mondays! Of Course I am there. But during the day, I have been procrastinating on Thank You letters and washing my truck.