Free for a Reason

For an entire week in the beginning of January, I managed to find Free things to do in LA... I soon discovered why they were free.

Holy F*CK - Free Stand Up Comedy
Once a month at the Downtown Independent Theatre is free stand up comedy.  I was beyond excited!  I made a facebook event and managed to gather a group of four to see it.  Oh god, out 10 comedians, 3 were good.. the rest made me cringe the whole time because it felt that they were asked one hour before to stand on stage in front of a microphone and be funny.  Most of them talked about how unemployed they were and how much their life sucked.

Wormhole Event
I didn't even know what it was, but it involved a lot of waiting and a lot of nothing.  This blogger agrees.  But but but.. it was posted in the LA Weekly.  Fail.

They recorded videos of us.. and then we watched our video self fall through a "worm hole" ... it wasn't even entertaining.  But thank goodness, it was next to the Moca where we saw some interesting exhibits.

But then again, it was hosted by the League of Imaginary Scientists.

MidTones
Though not all free things were a fail.  I discovered a Jazz jam session in Chinatown.  Intimate live music.  This was the epitome of Hidden LA.  Of course on Wednesdays.  Someone had their birthday there and offered me cake!

I've discovered that LA is amazing on weekdays.  Weekends are just too crowded, too hectic.

I guess, we can sleep when we're dead.  Yes.

Crack Den

The day after New Years, Ern found 5 or 6 bodies in my room rotting.  We were all trying to heal from the night before.  It was a large group nap... sort of weird, sort of awesome.

Body sweat everywhere.  The lights were dim, Ern was mildly shocked and felt that he was a crack den.  He was somewhere else during the day.

These guys wouldn't go home, so they stayed and ate Ern's food.  We went around talking about our New Years resolutions.  Work out, love myself more.. I dont remember any interesting ones.

Mine was to cook more.

Interesting day.

Word Vomit 2010 Reflection

It was just about going where everyone else was going and luckily for me, it was a place that I enjoyed.  It didn't feel like New Years Eve... aside from a balloon drop and a lot of feel good moments.

Two songs that defined the moment, Firework by Katy Perry and Raise Your Glass by Pink.

Saints and Sinners

I just wanted to post these pics to close out the year.  2010 helped me understand more about myself, the company that I enjoyed and my strengths and weakness.

I am a pure extrovert.  In the sense that the energy of others really define my own.  Socially dependent?  What would I do in room without anyone there?  I would sleep.  And what would I do when everyone is mean to each other?  I would cower in awkwardness because the negative space would pull me downward.

I feel I have grown up...but only barely.

In 2010, I've done a good job of cycling friends in and then pushing them away when I get busy with work.  The house would joke that these characters were a part of TV seasons and when the season ended, the producers would pick and choose who they wanted to keep based on how interesting they were.

But this could be said about how I maintain my friends in general. I'm not looking for best friends - I'm looking for good friends that exude positive energy and are willing to share interesting experiences.  But... as work becomes a priority, even good friends don't stick around because I am less responsive.

The Roommates

Work was providing me shit ton of new experiences with good vibes from a team that I loved, but as people quit every month I felt my personal moral decrease.  These events became tiresome and I look forward to just going home unless work comes up with some different.  I'm excited, this Wednesday I get a new team member that I interviewed.  I love his energy.  His training will include some hang out time.

Gosh, these party pictures aren't that interesting.  So I made them smaller.  I'm just filing these images to account those who I hung out with that night so that I don't forever forget.

Alysia's house got broken into and they stole her computer and hard driver.  2.5 years of photos were lost.  She was depressed, but found the external hard drive behind her dresser when then ramshackle her bedroom looking for things more monetarily valuable.  She only lost 1 year of photos... problem is she forgot what photos she had taken.  I'm in charge or providing those lost pictures of us since I'm such a memory whore.

I have some attractive friends, but no desire to sleep with any of them.  This would not have been the case in college, I enjoyed sleeping with my friends.  Maybe my sexual drive has lower since then.

Here I am flirting with the Filipino go-go dancer.  Ed is rolling his eyes.  His sweat smeared the body paint.  I wasn't interested in copping a feel, just wanted to approach someone who's job was to be.. approachable.

I love this photo, Sam looks cute, Steve looks buff and there's a couple in the background kissing.  I should submit this for an award.

I never realized that these lights I had in my room would be so useful.  It was a highlight to just lay in my room until 3 AM just looking at lights; being comfortable, but not tired.  I fall asleep too quickly.  My mind just shuts off like a switch.  No counting sheep, just.. press a button, gone.

I love my room.  I need to invite more people over to keep my energy up.  Must not sleep... must not become a work drone... must live... maintain friends and absorb good energy, bring more people into my life, share experience.. maintain.

LA, don't fail to keep me interested... so many pictures to post... sorry for incoherent entry.  I'm a month behind in.. everything.

Lunar New Year, Black History Month, Nutella Day, Super Bowl

Happy Vietnamese New Year and Black History Month

I remember last year was equally hectic because Valentine's Day also fell on the same weekend.

Today we are going to have a Super Bowl Party without watching the superbowl!  That means tons of snacks and beer and ... WHO KNOWS WHAT!!

The only time Chris writes on my wall is to have a convo with someone else.  When I join in, they stopped talking.

Shitz.. gots to run!

We rocking the large Vietnamese foreheads!

Will recap soon!

Born this Way Blog

I added http://borngaybornthisway.blogspot.com/ to my list of Downe blogs on the right column.

From NPR
A recently launched blog called "Born This Way!" does something very simple: It pairs a snapshot of a gay person as a kid with a personal essay about what he or she sees when looking at the photo.

Intro to the blog

A photo/essay project for gay adults (male and female) to submit pictures from their childhood (roughly ages 2 to 12) - with snapshots that capture them, innocently, showing the beginnings of their innate LGBT selves. It's OUR nature, our TRUTH!


Pretty powerful.

==

I also added http://transfagssexjournals.blogspot.com/ .

Intro to the blog:
Trans Queers consist of two transfags of color living in a big city, exploring safe anonymous play with bio-boys. We are committed to documenting the good, the confusing, and the ugly. Not too many of us out there writing about sex with nontrans men, the adventurous intricacies of it, negotiating safety and complicating definitions of queerness. We promise to be honest and vivid as we recount these experiences. It is our hope that you will read this journal and feel that your sexuality is really yours to do with as you damn well please.

Also very interesting.

Naked Time

Korean Spa?  CHECK!

We left the house at midnight and found ourselves naked in the men's section of the spa... sort of.

We were joined by a few others who had just finished clubbing.  There's a hot tub, warm tub and cold tub.  The Hot tub was scalding! There's a steam room a dry room and showers.  And naked men everywhere.  There's a place where you can just lay down and let your ball sack rest on the warm floor.

We were all shy and held on to our tiny towels.  When we entered the tubs we would politely look away as our friends slide their hand in their towel, grabbed their junk, dropped the towel and quickly stepped into the tub without anyone seeing any bits or pieces.  Sam was cute, he said fuck it and brought the mini towel with him into the pool.

Ern proclaimed when he heard this story, "you guys.. it's just the human body!!"  This was an appropriate statement from our yoga professional, trader joes shopping, basil plant growing friend.  The only one who is really intune with the.. "human body" and probably the only one that would rock out with his cock out since the whole house has already seen it (accidentally or not.)  I don't care, I dont want to see my friend's penai!

Upstairs was the co-ed community space.

People were just sleeping and children were running around they owned the place.  I felt like I was in a homeless shelter/refugee camp.  But these folks paid to sleep next to dozens of strangers, not because their house was washed away due to hurricanes, tsunamis or political unrest.

Through those doors were more saunas:

Here we are in the Ice Room acting like Korean thugs.  I was suddenly I was craving froyo.

This is the heated Salt Room.

My favorite room - the Clay room.  Steve was walking along the plank, stepped into the hot pebbles, lost his footing and fell on top of us.  Ridiculousssss.


Other rooms had signs that read 200 degrees.  I felt like it was a slow death and quickly exited those saunas.

They also had a full service restaurant.  Mmmmm my favorite: dduk bok gi.


I decided to give naked time another shot and headed back to the men's spa area without any towel to cover me.  It felt very liberating to just walk around without being very self conscious.  After all, we were at a Korean spa, not a gay spa (unless you were in the Dark Room =X).  With everyone around me there to just relax, the male human body had become desexualized.


Seeing all these naked guy bodies made me realize most people do not have perfect porn bodies that I'm used to seeing.  Everyone in general has a very average body including myself and my body image concerns depleted.

I slept over on one of those mats and woke up in the morning refreshed.  I'm thankful I can sleep anywhere.  Before sleeping, I sat naked on the bucket seat in front of a mirror and shampooed my hair.  I used the hand held shower head to spray my body.  I felt like I was getting to know my body a little more by cleaning myself this way.

My skin felt hydrated and my muscles were relaxed.  It felt like a mini vacation.  I recommended this to a friend who went the following week and had a same sort of experience; only more poetic.

Woohoo naked time liberation!

You're More Likable if You're Single

Single
I've been single for 3 years and getting into a relationship has not been a smooth transition as I thought it would be.  But why would it be considering the circumstances?

I met someone from OkCupid and thought it would be a good idea to bring the boy along to meet him. I figured that if we were to both meet the OkCupid guy at the same time, it was as if we were BOTH making a new friend... expand our circle.  Too bad I failed to mention to the boy that we were meeting up with someone from OkCupid... the dating site... not the friendship site. (Shit, my bad).

"I feel like I'm a third wheel on your date with this guy," the boy said over the live jazz music.  I thought this was ridiculous, I knew as little about the OkCupid guy as he did. If anything, the OkCupid guy should have felt like a third wheel.  In my mind, we were both making an effort to make a new friend.  The OkCupid guy was trying to make conversation with the boy, but was quickly shot down with one word answers.  I didn't understand what the problem was. If I was the boy I would have done my best to interrogate this stranger from this random site and tell him to get off of my MAN's balls.  We left early, the boy was hurt, the mood was killed.  But I loved the jazz club... and couldn't enjoy it.

"You didn't introduce me as your boyfriend," the boy added.  I stumbled to explain myself, but then the boy told to me what my subconscious was thinking.  "Chris, you didn't introduce me as your bf because you wanted to seem single.  People think they are likeable when they are single."

I thought about it.  It was true.

When you're single you are free to meet random boys and experience random things.  Whether it turned into something, into nothing, it doesn't matter.  You tag along to their daily life and discover more about your city.  When you're single you can explore other people without feeling guilty because you should be home with your man.  You discover new foods, new venues... a random Live Jazz Jam session in Chinatown!!!  So I felt like I needed to come off as single in order to not miss out on any of these things.

For the sake of new friends or not, it doesn't matter - the boy knew it and explained my actions negating my justifications immediately.  I wanted to be single... I've been doing it for so long.

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Caveat
Before I continue, if you're my friend, don't tell me you read this blog because this is my therapist and I refuse to start an anonymous blog.  Acknowledge the blog wall, I'm tired of inhibited writing. 

==

Relationship
Last night we got into another spat that was related.  I questioned whether or not I wanted this-  The stress, expectation, insecurities, obligations of being in a relationship.  I had forgotten about all of this having been gallivanting for so long.

It made me realize that you can't just jump into a relationship.  It made me realize that "In a Relationship," carries a lot of weight that people in general are not willing to accept so they make other categories:

But it also made me realize the people are too eager to jump ship when they hit a hurdle.

I am in a relationship and that means I am willing to work on developing something that can potentially become amazing and fulfilling.

You don't just get into a relationship, you work on a relationship.  And that's what I agreed to when he asked me to be my boyfriend.  So we did just that - worked it out.  Communicated. Understood.

You feel so good in my arms.  I will always introduce you as my boyfriend and any "opportunity" I miss because of it wouldn't feel as good without you there.