New Chapter Begins

I am having anxiety. I feel like I'm in a different country.

The Preparation.
I didn't go out with a bang, just a fizz. I had two weeks of goodbye lunches and dinners. Some casual clubbing, but nothing too intense. I should have gone to Hunter's on my last night, but I was sadly not packed.

Things worked out really well and the four boxes allotted to me turned into eight, but that's good considering that it's my life I'm moving.

The Drive.
Easier than I thought with the company of a friend. Christine gets me to think about things, life experiences particularly regarding "privilege" and "relationships" with others and ourselves ... she's a thinker. It was the first time I had driven for longer than 2 hours.

Cruise Control is fun.

I dropped Christine off in Rosemead where we enjoyed a Vietnamese snack:Bánh cuốn

The Move.
The place where I am staying for a week is in front a busy street. It sucks so much and parking is terrible. Hollywood is a funny place- such glamorous people in such a ghetto setting. I hope to move somewhere more residential.

Seyron lives in a studio in gay West Hollywood (WeHo) and he educated me on the LA neighborhoods. Apparently West Hollywood is a city and Hollywood is a neighborhood of LA. THAT'S why it's ghetto, LA is broke. And all the gays pour their disposable income into West Hollywood.

The Gay.
I celebrated the night with Seyron who was nice enough to house me for a week. We went to WeHo and spent 30 minutes looking for parking. I tried to imagine the vaguely familiar bright streets as my new home. It was difficult because it wasn't home... it's a road trip destination. Would I come here weekly to party? No. Probably monthly.

It is true that folks are more attractive- I spotted a handful of hotties, while in the bay they are a bit more eclectic physically. With all the fit bodies and groomed faces, I couldn't help but feel that the eye candy was nothing more than just eye candy. Saturdays in WeHo is extremely white... and muscular. I felt a little inadequate and an extreme minority. I felt like I needed a haircut and new shoes. And there was no hip hop to be found. Anywhere. Sigh.


Everyone has such a fierce pace in their walk here... everyone has attitude and something to say.

I ate with Seyron at a Brazilian place and the waitress was the archetype of a HAG. She winked and touched, called us honey, babe, sweet heart. She knows she gets better tips when she's fabulous. Even she was over the top.


We went to The Abbey and Here. I kept thinking about Joe and how much he would love this and how he would go every day. One of the dancers was definitely Joe's type physically. I was in mesmerized by their hanging packages.

I looked around. I knew NO ONE. I started to hyperventilate. JK. I was just out of my element



WeHo.. is overwhelmingly gay. Above is the city logo.
I think I like my gay in moderation... my fierce walk and snappy attitude once in a while. My fabulous, fantastic, baby, hugs and kisses on occasion. I can't do this on a daily or even weekly basis.

Overwhelmed.
I feel like WeHo is over the top. General things like Trader Joes, Ralphs, Carls Jr, the Sherif's Office were all LIT up and fancy and every other store is a "boutique" with tight fitting t shirts and cute undies. WeHo is gayer than the Castro and it is a SimCity designed by the gayest of the gays. It was strange and excessive. Everything is shiny... but I can't help but feel that there is a lack of substance.

People rush. It seems like no one is relaxed.

Uncomfortable.
There are a lot of things that I don't like such as traffic, rude people, pollution, challenging parking, and superficiality. Frankly, I am uncomfortable here, but being comfortable is boring... and I've been doing that for too long.

I am in an alien place. My network shrunk 10 fold. I don't know the roads, but Joe's tomtom will my new best friend. My long truck makes parking hard. I lack of confidence makes driving challenging.

This is the first time I am doing real world things: moving out, paying for rent, taking care of myself - being on my own without family or best friends.

So let's see how long I can last before I come running back to the Bay....... i miss you.

Pride 2009 Part II

After a cute Mexican Brunch in no deadville Concord, Jimmy and I headed to pride. I put on my SECOND gayest shirt which was a gift from CARL! YAY! It was a Big Gay Ice Cream Truck T-shirt from New York! It couldn't have been more perfect!

I had three goals: 1. visit the Asian stage which is located at the back of the bus ... or at the farthermost corner of the festival, to give my Dragon Kisses and Hellos. 2. Nap on the ground with Jimmy like a local, 3. See Boa.









Heh heh. Farmer Joe and Crazy Szeto...
Sick and Grumpy MoAny stayed home.



Then Boa... she came on really late, and the wait was painful. I was complaining, "GOSH, all these tall people in front." And the 6'2 guy in front of me turns around and I say. "HELL... O"

LOL. It was a had-to-be-there.

This picture is from Charles who got back stage passes! BoA was cute and fobby and I was surprised that so many people were there to see her. After Beyonce's siter, Solange, performed a horde of black people left the front area and all the 5'6 Asians pushed forward. It was... hilarious!

==

Oh Pride. Once again, I experienced it sober. Ok, maybe next year I will drink up!
I also saw fellow blogger, TiggahTigz!!! But I felt weird approaching him =X!

It's like, hi! I read your blog, I've seen your goods. Awkward!

An overdue Blog about Pride PART I

Pride stuff. After my interview on Friday, I flew up to SF and went to PRIDE. I've gone like 6 times and I was content on bringing a blanket and baking in the sun with Jimmy. I call it- experiencing pride as a local.

I put on my gayest shirt and headed to my old roommate Sig's BBQ! He ALWAYS invites me to his shindigs, and finally I was able to go! I handed him old mail from 2006!

Sig's luscious bubble butt black boyfriend, Eric knows how to BBQ!



LooK! Berkeley GAYS! I miss you guys! Jimmy is cute.

==

So continuing Pride as a local, we went to a coffee shop and chilled. Low stress.

Charles wanted us to look Fierce, I miss heard and did FART.


Time for PINK Party. It was amazing this year. Bigger, large stages and a disco ball as big as my house hanging from a crane. Ooo, look! White Gays!


Carl was trying to teach me how to tyra my pictures, but.. I give up. I just look tranny.

So this drunk kid comes up to me and says that Jimmy and I make a cute couple and then he proceeds to tell us how he was dissed by his friends because they told him he was a two out of ten. He then said, "I look at myself in the mirror everyday. I KNOW I'M CUTE! Don't you think I'm cute?"

Ugh, I was so disgusted. But even more disgusted at myself, because he WAS cute. Ugh. I hate people who masturbate to themselves.




I lost 5 million calories hiking this San Francisco hill. This ends part I.

Leaving Saturday

Things are coming together.

I just visited my grandpa and it was the longest conversation I've ever had with him. He's deaf and I'm thankful my Vietnamese is fair enough for him to comprehend while I'm yelling.

He was happy to see me and I wondered why I didn't spend time with him while I was here.

==

As I'm gradually packing, I really AM starting a new chapter. No photo albums are coming with me. Nothing sentimental. Just clothes, office stuff and cook books.

I'm moving into a house full of gays. Gays that are known to be dramatic. I am SO fucking excited. It's gonna be the best MTV pseudo reality show ever!

===

July 8 - Errands. Lunch with Arther, Dinner with Damien at this Indian place that he's been talking about for ages. Then SYTYCD with MoaNy
July 9 - Beach, Dinner with Mom & Dad, XCIX come play
July 10 - Alone time. Visit me if you would like! I should go to Dragon. LOL LOL! What a terrible idea.
July 11 - Pho breakfast with Huan for his bday and LA drive begins.

I was able to squeeze in an extra Day!.

..there's one more thing you need to know about me.

Yesterday I went to the city to have my last date with Jimmy.

Dinner at Poleng Lounge and a Concert at The Independent.

I bought 2 Buck Chuck from Trader Joes, but left it in my car because the corking fee was $15. Heh heh.... who does that? Dinner was flirtatious and the walk to the concert was chilly. "I'm... starting to get these feelings" Jimmy stated and I freaked.

"NO! You are not allowed to." He gave me a half smile.

===

While waiting for the concert we made small talk-

"So.. tell me 5 more things about you."

I told Jimmy superficial things
-That I'm obsessed with Blogging and Giraffes, but giraffe things (like tshirts), not stuffed animals.
-That my favorite TV show was So You Think I can Dance

I also told him that I was guarded. Guarded because this is bad timing (Career first! - Anthony was turned on by my ruthlessness). Guarded because of baggage, etc.

I also told him I have a lot of layers and that he only penetrated 2 while dating me for a month, but after thinking about it- There's actually not that many layers to me.

As the concert began, I felt a bit uncomfortable. I was surrounded by white folks with greasy hair and terrible unkempt beards. The band impressed me... especially the harmonies, the opening band was just noise. The guitarist scared the shit out of me because he had a im-going-to-rape-you facial expression as he strummed. Jimmy and I held hands and cupcaked in a seemingly gay unfriendly place, but no one gave a second look. We were in San Francisco.

"So are you an ass guy or boob guy?" Jimmy told me that he guessed he was a ass guy by default because guys don't have boobs. But I argued that pecs are the equivalent and I am indeed a BOOB guy. I prefer a guy with a nice chest over a nice ass.

==

As we departed at the BART station. I took a deep breath and said, "there is one more thing you need to know about me... I don't do long distance."

Jimmy simply responded, "I know..."
"Really?" I guess, I was expecting some other response.
"Yeah, I mean, we're not even mutually exclusive." I guess, by not saying much. I said enough. But I'm the type of person would likes closure and communication.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SEEING ON THE SIDE?!?" I joked.

I caught myself saying cliche things when I didn't need to. "Things would be different if I was staying...blah blah." And Jimmy didn't need any of that verbal comfort, but... I guess I did.

==

We hugged tight and kissed on the train as the doors opened for my departure. The woman behind us made an "aww" sound.

==

To me, Jimmy has only been out of the closest for 1.5 years. And despite that, Jimmy was not afraid to hold hands in public nor did let his emotions overpower his rationale. Something I thought would only come with experience...

...and as I think about what type of boys I like, I can't help but describe Jimmy... except they would be better on the phone.

iFLY

We're Power Rangers!

This is a video I stole off youtube because I wasn't able to record us.



Woot. You should try it! iFLY



Thanks Joe for the awesome Christmas gift! Finally got to use it! :D

Count Down

I'm leaving Friday the 1oth.
It makes it sort of like a count down to this new chapter of my life.

July 1, 2, 3...9, ................10!!!!!!!! Lift off!

Days are hectic, I'm still looking for housing while doing as much as I can while in the bay because I'm not coming back for a while. (I'm pretty sure about this.)

Unlike MoAny who has a boyfriend and invested flight tickets, I'm actually giving good bye hugs... I'm ready to be in a new place and stay there for a while.

==

I need to blog about SF Gay Pride and a bay area reflection.

==

So many meals to be had and a couple more adventures to be squeezed in.
July 1 - Lunch with Jane, Dinner with Darnell
July 2 - Lunch with Sean Paul, Dinner & Movie with Michelle, Eunice, Dina, Service Trucklol
July 3 - River rafting with High school friends
July 4 - Epic High school clique BBQ that involved the parents and a flip cup challenge!
July 5 - iFly, Indoor Sky Diving & Clubbing with South Bay Gay friends
July 6 - Lunch with JV? Huan? Arthur?
July 7 - Facial and Dentist & Last Date with Jimmy :[ in SF at a Concert
July 8 - PACK
July 9 - PACK
July 10 - Leave

-Snacks with Damien?
-Dinner with Anhimals?
-Clubbing with Sarah L.?
-Birthday Lunch with Neil?
-Pho with Nhat?
-Dinner with Family?

THERE'S NO TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
==

I'm not packing socks. I have so many mismatched socks. I've been waiting for an opportunity to throw them all away and start over. Chris' Socks, my brother's, dad's, strange boys'... all mixed in.

I'm just bringing the colored socks that are easy to match!

==

Thank You EVERYONE for all the wishes. Dang! So much Love!
If you gay, in San Jose then Imma be at Crave tonight. Safe, local.

==
Tangent-
Went to Starbucks to get Wifi. Stupid girl barista goes, "we do have Wifi, but you have to buy a 5 dollar gift card and call a number; it's complicated, it's gay."

I looked at her judgmentally and walked out. For the rest of the day, I day dreamed about what I should have said to her:

"Did you just say gay to refer to something stupid? You should rethink your vocabulary because you might be offending people. You don't want to seem ignorant... do you?"

"Excuse me? What did you just say? I'm gay. I thought we were in the bay area in 2009 and people were intelligent."

Both involved me adjusting my v-neck and walking out the store with a fierce swagger with my messanger bag bouncing back and fourth.