From the Ground Up

I really enjoy talking to locals and learning everything I possibly can.

I learned today that Vietnamese people buy land and then hire someone to build their house to their liking. Often, they build the houses themselves. This explains the poor craftsmanship and lack of regulations on some of the homes that I've visited. Eg: poor/dangerous wiring, bathrooms with no ceilings, uneven tiles, walls held together by twine... all of that.

I showed my coworker my house and she was amazed that all my neighbors have the same house.

"You mean, you don't build the house yourself?"
"No, we buy houses premade"

"That's so strange and boring, I like the freedom to design and create my own home. Why would you want your house to look like someone else's"

She continued, "if you buy someone else's house, you knock it down and build your own. Usually, those houses are old anyway. You can pick how many stories.. build it how high as you want! It's your property!"

If I were to design my house... there would be a giraffe room, a cheese room and a swimming pool. That's all. Yes, I'm predictable.

==

I did some research on construction in Saigon and stumbled upon a great blog!

http://newsaigon.wordpress.com/

A blog that discusses the "various construction projects happening in this vibrant city, it will include some huge infrastructure projects as well as the many offices, shopping centres and apartments that are on the go or have been given the green light. "

This particular project is of interest: The VISTAS!

Very ambitious, don't you think?

The Vista project made headlines on the 7 June 2007 when over 400 people queued for hours to secure a contract for an apartment on the first phase, all 237 units on phase 1 were booked by 2 pm the same day.

The price range on original contracts was between $1200 and $1600 per square metre. The project sits on 23000 sq m of land and there is to be extensive landscaping with gardens and water features. There will be a total of 750 residential apartments and some retail facilities plus a commercial block.

Construction:

Very ambitious!

I Missed out on the Moonwalk for Pig Kidney

My grandpa's younger brother invited me to eat.

He looks pretty cool in his helmet!
So I passed up my popping class. It was getting a bit redundant anyway.




My grandpa's brother invited his family- about 8 people came along for the ride.


I was getting really excited because it was like hot pot... except DANGEROUS! You are literally 1 foot away from the flame, sitting on a rickety table!

I was challenged with grilled goat breast. I was being open minded and trying to be polite so I consumed every piece of meat that was placed in my bowl by my grandpa's younger brother.

The meat was so chewy... I was getting really queezy.


You wrap the meat like a spring roll, except the Vietnamese tortilla is hard so it tasted raw.

"Good huh!?"
"Oh yeah! It's so interesting" I'm such a liar.

After devouring about 10... and drinking 2 bottles of orange juice, I thought it was over, but another HOT POT was brought out. What is that? "Pig Kidney!"

Oh.. Joy.


So you "cook" the kidneys in the boiling soup.... which was ... a strange flavor.

Okay.. I didn't want to come home without TRYING what was offered. But one bite did it for me. It was chalky, a strange texture... I used my chopsticks and put in my cousin's bowl, "please help me!!" I sat back in my chair rocking back and forth praying that I would not hurl.



Sigh, but I was okay. I thanked them for the meal and headed home. I called my popping friends and discovered that today they learned the Moon walk and the Usher slide!

DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!

-Scorpion is my next treat... wish me luck.

Highway Patrol Found Me

Yesterday the boy invited me for some coffee on the street in district 1.

In the middle of our conversation the owner goes, "MOVE YOUR BIKE!! THEY ARE TICKETING PEOPLE!" In an effort to clean up district 1 (downtown Saigon, sort of) they have banned motobike parking on the sidewalk. The boy quickly moved his bike into the coffee shop's house.

He opened his laptop. The desktop back ground was a picture of himself. He made aww noises as if it were a baby. "I'm handsome." He said.

"I don't understand why you love yourself so much."

"Why not?"

He asked me to take pictures of him... so I did, he photographs well. We people watched and he told me who was gay and who was not. It was fun. I told him that I would love to cuddle with him again (even though he's so conceited) and he said, "only cuddle!?" He told me that we'll probably need to rent a hotel room... and at this point I thought to myself how WRONG this all sounded... and dropped the idea from my crazy, desperate head.

I asked him to drive me to the mall. We stopped at a light and when it cleared he proceeded. That when the men in grey stopped him for running the red light. Looks like even in Vietnam, when I'm NOT driving... I send some sort of scent to street patrol.

They are really cracking down in district 1. I didn't know what to do, am I supposed to bribe these people? He told me to take a mototaxi to the mall and I texted him.

A mototaxi driver saw it happen and told me that if i want to save his bike I needed to go to the office and ask the other mototaxi drivers. Around $60 is what I'd have to carry: 1 MILLION dong!! He explained that the drivers and cops know each other. (You mean are corrupted together?) And if I don't do this, they will take his bike a part!!!

I called up the boy. He said not to worry. The cop that took him in was gay and asked for his number.... he can't get his bike back until a month later.

Are you serious?

==

So I'm probably not going to see him for a while...probably for the better.

Photos With Commentary

Before I start my photo commentary, I had another no shit epiphany.

Things are cheap because nothing is maintained.

I realized this today at the pool. I went to the person in charge of lockers and asked for the toilet.
"They're broken." She said robotically. Of course they are. The "lockeroom" was basically a tiled room with a giant hose. I can't describe it correctly, because it's so disgusting and under developed. I'm thankful the ground wasn't dirt and there's some distinctiong between the women's and the men's section.

I examined the flags above the pool: tattered. I looked at the rails: rusted. As I was swimming I saw what I hoped was algae floating next to me. From a far the facility looked nice, but nothing was updated since.. never. Everything was it's original.

I find this to be common in Vietnam. You pay so little because everything is so old. And people have a mindset- if it still works, why spend money to fix it?

We invest a lot in "developed countries" to keep things nice and new. When it's old, we throw it out. But as every dime counts, you can't really do that here. You begin to realize how much different things have different value in different places.

==
A contrast from the swimming pool:

Vietnam has a Costco, except it's a German company called a Metro.
Same idea. In fact, it was exactly the same. The subtle difference is in it's customers. I began to observe the Modern trade retailer for my work research and there are interesting things to note.

The type of people who go have money. Either they go once a month OR they are a business owner- for resale or functionality. The HOT item is toilet paper. I spoted at least 25 white people during my 1.5 hour stay. I think because it's comforting to them? Many of them are long term Vietnam inhabitants.

Interesting things:
You fill your cart. When you pay for your money, there is no rolling table. They put your items in another cart. Then when you leave, they check your receipt (YES! Like costco!) but instead of a haphazard glance and a highlighter mark, they take out all of your items one by one and put them in a NEW cart! That's right!

I was bitching and money about the insanity and the girl checking the goods got annoyed. "Well you're in Vietnam, and this is how it's done." Maybe I shouldn't act so pretentious around the locals who are thankful they even have a Metro.

You know the CRANES. When they back up they make ugly sounds. "ANNNK,, ANNNK!! ANNNK!!" To warn unsuspecting customers of their danger? In Vietnam, they play Midi file melodies like, the ABC song. To me, this would attract children to danger... oh.. there I go being pretentious again.

But this made me happy:


Yes... 10 dollars a bottle. I was very tempted. But I figured, I fucked around enough and I really haven't made good friends to really drink with. Just my cousins and they're not too big on the idea.

Outside of the metro was a street full of shacks next to a stagnant polluted creek.

==
The best food is on the street


This was the best broken rice (Com Tam) I've ever had. People stick little food places where ever they can. This is in front of a school after it's closed. It's so popular!



We feed 7 people for $10.

Because the owners don't have to pay for rent, or airconditioning or any of that EXCESS stuff that developed nations take so much pride in.

See that pink container thing? That holds toliet paper and tooth picks. There are NO Napkins in Vietnam. Only toilet paper and wet towellettes that you have pay for.


This is my cousin's half sister. We share no blood. She epitomizes everything I hate about loud spoiled Vietnamese children. I call her a Monster Child.

She grunts, rolls her eyes and is a little miss know it all. But somehow she swims an amazing freestyle, breastroke and butterfly.

I hate her so much.

==
I found a "Holliter," for lawsuit issues, they dropped the "s." I bought a nice $10 (I know! fancy) polo that everyone including my cousin thinks is ugly. Even in Vietnam, I have no sense of fashion.


They're so pushy in the stores. "You only bought one!" Ugh.. Thank you captin obvious.
But I've noticed that they follow you less and less.

==
For Joe.



Joe is convinced that ALL asians have small penises.
Well Joe, we also have tasty bite-sized bananas.

The Magic Bullet

I was watching the Magic Bullet infomercial dubbed in Vietnamese.

And... it was even MORE convincing than the English version! I love my Magic Bullet!

==

I'm coming to realize that my family loves to argue about money. So here's the story:

My grandma adopted a girl.
My grandpa didn't want the girl so they gave the girl to my grandma's sister who couldn't have children.
My grandma's sister raised the little girl.
My grandma's sister passed away and the girl, now woman got a fair amount of her property.
The girl asked my grandma for more money when she got married.
My grandma gave it to her.
Decades later, my grandma wrote a letter to the girl, now woman with a family to give the lent money to my grandma's youngest sister to help her with her sickness.
The girl claimed to not have money.
The girl is sending her two kids to Japan and Singapore to study, she also finished remodeling her house... obviously she has money.
The family hates her.

I ran into this woman at the store and she looked awkward. I was awkward too because I forgot how she was related to me at the time. My aunt told me that she's probably scared that I came to Vietnam to claim the money she owes my grandma.

Hahahhahaha.

This is Vietnamese Drama!

Xe Buyt

Yesterday I took the bus to popping class.

I wasn't expecting much, but I was warned that the buses often get crowded and people get pick pocketed.

They didn't warn me about the procedure on which you get on and off the bus.

Everything is normal, there's a bus stop on major streets. When you see your bus coming you wave your hand to indicate that you want to get on. This is where it gets different.

THE BUS DOESN'T STOP!!!

I was with my coworker, "hurry up Chris! It's coming." As the bus came toward the stop it slowed down, a little bit and the back door opens. This is your cue to start running and JUMP onto the moving vehicle.

YOU HEARD ME! YOU JUMP INTO THE BACK DOOR OF THE MOVING VEHICLE!

My coworker got on smoothly. Me, on the other hand, had my shoulder slam into the side of the entry way of the bus. It was a trip. Luckily the bus was not crowded and I found a seat. Also, it was airconditioned! Sweet.

In side was a bus worker to collect your 3,000 dong (20cents) and give you appropriate change. Double sweet! Appropriate change! I hate the buses in the US where you need exact change.

==

Ok, it doesn't stop there. I was told that my stop was approaching and my coworker told me to go towards the back door. The bus stopped in traffic and I pushed against the door to get off, you know like in San Francisco. But the doors were controlled by the driver.

Oh.. I was supposed to "prepare myself."

With out warning the doors opened in front of me and once again, the bus did NOT stop. Before me was a moving ladding pad. I went with it and jumped out of the moving vehicle. If I had lost my balance, I would have fallen into a huge puddle.

I threw up my hands with Victory! Yeah! How exhilarating.
==

What about old ladies and crowds? I think the buses stop for them, but if you look healthy... you're expected to do the work of a stunt man. Sometimes the guy that collects your money also helps you get on the bus by extending his arm... but it's up to you to catch up to the speed of the bus.

MOVE IT or LOSE IT!

Paranoia

I got an email from my dad:

SUBJ: WARNING! Do not eat or drink

Hi Pho,

Be careful over there. Do not use any of the products listed on these images because they contain Melamine which is hazardous to your body. Make sure you tell our relatives too.

-Dad

Seriously?! Doesn't Unilever make everything? You forgot P&G.

I have no witty comment to add to this.