Why is Saddness Beatuiful?

As I was drinking coffee on the street this lady approached me to sell a lotto ticket.

Everyday that I've been here, I've been approached to buy a ticket and every time I reply "I'm not going to buy it." The people who approach me are different. They are old, young, disabled. But they are all the same: poor, desperate.

These tickets are 5,000 dong. 33cents, but I've become numb to each plea. I've been numb for a while. My mom warned me to watch my soft heart, but I didn't realize how stiff my emotions have become.

This women instead of saying, "please buy... sir.. please buy." She said, "it's my last two... please." My friend gave her money and she cracked a smile. I debated if she was lying. Lying like the people on the streets of Berkeley saying they need bus fare.

But she wasn't. She finished her task and asked to use my phone. "I need to call my husband to pick me up. Can you dial for me, I don't know how to use it." I agreed and handed her the phone. I prepared myself to JUMP her if she ran with my electronic. "Hi honey, can you pick me up?" She was sweet. She handed me the phone and thanked me. She sat on the curb and waited.

"You're a good person," responded my friend.

I took this picture.

Look at her eyes. What is she thinking about? Look at her saddness. Look how beautiful she is.... this emotion could not be replicated. This is raw... human... powerful.

Popping Class

I'm going to try to take more videos.



I'm in the beginning class. We are learning how to do the arm wave.

The class next to us, the intermediate class, is learning the robot walk.



Fucking awesome.





The class next door was learning, "back up dancer hip hop" which basically is... bad hip hop. They were doing the macarena.



What else can I learn for 6 bucks? Guitar lessons? Martial Arts?

Endless opportunities!

Vietnam is Not the Shit Hole You Think it Is

I'm in the city of Saigon.




Like being in downtown San Francisco vs. being in the suburbs of San Jose, there are different parts of the city. A lot of poor, a lot of rich.





Yesterday i went to the more wealthy area. These homes would put the apartments above Santana Row to shame. I stand corrected, not all street facing houses have stores.





If you don't have WiFi, you have a nice internet cafe! Ooo new Dell Computers!

My grandpa's younger brother told me that if my grandma had kept her house in Saigon, she would be very wealthy because it was in a corner house where the Honda store is. :[

My cousin got a Chinese Dress made for 12 bucks? yay Child labor!!


I give it 3 washes before it rips.

Gotta Keep Moving

Differentiate
My Expat Cousin: has being doing business in Vietnam for one year. Originally from Texas.
My Local Cousins: Know only Vietnam. Are whom I'm staying with.

Living Conditions
Living with my local cousin has taken a toll on my body. I have more than 30 mosquito/ant bites on my legs. I always feel sticky. There is no privacy. I've resorted to escaping to an expensive coffee shop down the street for the day and it's the best decision of my life!

View from the large chain coffee shop: Trung Nguyen
Airconditioning... this is fantastic.

Work Begins Soon
What to do!

Going to the Beach is Different
Going to the beach in Vietnam is expensive: $50.
-Rent a car because it's a 2 hour drive
-Buy expensive sea food because that's all they have
-Rent a space because it's not a public beach, you can't just sit anywhere

I guess I am spoiled by California beaches.

3 Dollars is Expensive

Everything is 3 dollars at the nightmarket, but apparently that's still too high.

They have everything... but they're all fake, very old or irregular

Raybans
Gucci
Abercrombie

Stylish belts, sunglasses, collared shirts, watches... everything.

All of it... 3 dollars is the magic number.
They look good, but with a couple of washes/uses.. they go into the trash.

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Bargaining is engrained in the culture, but like the shoppers, the merchants are sick of it too.
"Can you lower it? How about such and such price?" Is a common tactic. They say no, you walk away, they call you back. Oh, but they figured it out.

"I'm sorry, that's the correct price." This is a new statement that I've heard from the merchants. So many people shop that one lost customer is no skin off their back. They work together so that the prices are maintained and now the shopper who leaves the tent comes out with nothing.

Interesting.
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I asked for a price of a ring, "30,000!" Which is two bucks, my local cousin (who bargains for me)asked for 20,000. The merchant replied, 28,000 and i pulled out my wallet and paid. My local cousin started to yell at me. "Why did you pay when we didn't agree to the price?!"
"Uhhhh.. what?"
"Next time don't be so eager! You suck! You can buy two of those rings at a book store for 25,000 total! Idiot!"

Sigh... I thought 2 dollars for a ring was good... i guess not when you can buy a pair of jeans for 4 dollars.

Gah!

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Then i realized that Szeto and Mony would be worse. A lot of the stores BLED Szeto fashion and Mony would just throw his money around.

HAH!

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I'm now book keeping. I spent 50 bucks in three days and I don't know how when everything is 3 dollars.

Why Vietnam Fits Letopho

1. Food never goes to waste
2. Compared to everyone else, I am now a good driver
3. The whole city is like shopping at the dollar store
4. A "Vietnamese" haircut is now a GOOD haircut
5. I can stare at boys all day with out fear of being beat up because everyone else is staring too!

Gay in Vietnam

I saw the boy again yesterday.

This time he took me swimming. He was explaining to me gay culture in Vietnam. Like anywhere else, there are many types of gays.

"Bong" or shadow of a person, shiny, refers to those who are girly. But there are more discrete ones. I was beginning to piece together what it meant to be gay in this country.

My expat cousin told me before that gays are aggressive here, they stare and touch with no remorse or fear. Earlier in the day I made eye contact with a boy ... he said bye and as I drove pass him on my motorbike, he smiled at me and I smiled back.

I asked the boy I was with how gay people meet each other.
"At clubs, bars, cafes... there is no one spot, they're just everywhere."

This guy jumps into the pool.
"He's gay."
"How do you know?"
"Because he's staring at us... here, let me go ask him." My jaw dropped. How can you be so frank. I stayed on the other side of the pool. When I had enough courage to return I asked him what happened.
"Yup, he's gay."
"You asked him!?"
"No, but he touched me... he touched my wrist with his and my ankle with his.... a lot of boys want me."

Another culture shock.

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We spent the rest of the time in the pool talking about body image.
"So guy guys in Vietnam like skinny. Everything needs to be tight... that guy over there, he has a nice body." He pointed to mr.bones.
"He's too skinny, he doesn't have a chest."
"True, but everything is tight." I began to wonder if being attractive meant being boyish. What does masculine mean in Vietnam?
I began to realize that the pool was full of guys checking each other out.
The boy continued, "there are three parts that are attractive physically: chest, stomach, ass." I guess biceps aren't important here.

"If you have a body, a personality and a great job, you'll never be lonely." This was an interesting philosophy.

==

"There are a lot of gay people here. A lot who are married. Those who consider themselves "tops" have a choice.. they can be with a man or a woman, they are the ones that have families and sleep with men on the side. 'Bottoms' on the other hand... can never love women because they are woman..."

I tried to argue, but I didn't have the vocabulary to justify my argument.

==

"I had a boyfriend in Taiwan.. he was SO CUTE" Everytime he mentioned Taiwan, he was slip against the pool wall. "He invited me to go to the states with him... he'd take care of everything."

I taught him the term sugar daddy. He was amused.

"I don't talk to him, long distance doesn't work. How can you love someone you don't interact with physically?"

"Now that I agree with."
==

I push the water off my face.
"Let me get you some medicine... for your acne."
"Oh yeah... I gave up a long time ago... I really don't care."
"Well, skin is important in Vietnam"
"Anywhere else too, but I've tried everything trust me... and I don't let it get me down." Or at least I try not to.
"You're right, there's more to a person.. definitely. But I'm not going to lie, I think being physically attractive is important." I thanked him for his honesty. I've heard too often how people say 'personality' outways looks, but you need to stop kidding yourself. Stop trying to radiate good character when you know looks are just important to you.

Anyway.

"So, I'm fat, huh."
"No! You have a chest and an ass... two out of three.. that's good enough." I looked at his body. He had no chest, no ass, some abs. Earlier he gloated about how people liked his body. I guess because it was "tight." But malnutrition seems more appropriate.

==
He bought me a coconut drink on addition to the pool entrance ticket. As I rode on the back of his motor bike, it rained and i put my head on his back to shield my face.
"romantic?"
"haha, I guess so, but I think the coffee shop with the live music was more romantic."
"really!? couples never go there..."
"Why not?!"
"Cuz they can't kiss and do couple things.."

I tried to explain that it doesn't matter... just being there with a person makes it romantic... but once again, I lacked the vocabulary to make my case.

==
He dropped me home. He didn't pick my pocket, he didn't take me down a dark alley. He didn't tie me up and try to convert me to communism.

He just took me home and said good bye and I wanted to hug him for a second for being so nice, but I don't know what either of our intentions are.

So there you have it... I am gay in Vietnam.

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