Visiting College One Last Time

This passed Friday, I attended the NSU Banquet. I almost killed a pedestrian and ran a red light driving there with a couple of NSU folks squished in my truck. I got a phone call, "are you here yet?!" I responded, "I'm on my way, am I the last one?!" "..yeah" Great. So fyi, Japanese American time is actually 10minutes early with cookies or rice crackers. (As opposed to Vietnamese of Pilipino time which is 1 hour late). GAH Embarrassing. But I got there just in time for the dinner.

The banquet was at Pyramids and I was assigned to sit with other gay kids assuming I would get along with them. Ironically, I had nothing to say to them and frankly I was tired of hearing "creepy post grad returning to prey on underclassmen" -jokes. Haha, funny. Not really. I wish I got to sit next to NSU kids that I've known for years so that I could catch up. But, no matter, I used my legs to move around. I was surprise to learn that Miwa was running banquet again for the 3rd year in a row! I guess, she's just that good. Like Huan and culture show... me and publicity? ;)

It was sad because I was the only alum. Everyone had moved on... or rather moved across the pacific to Japan to teach English. I felt really old when only I knew the answer to the trivia question: What was the name of the First Culture Show. Everyone looked around with an curious expression.

"Generations!! Damn I AM old!" I shouted with a few chuckles here and there from the other kids.

What I love about NSU is respect and acknowledgement. Everyone who attends banquet gets a gift, all the Seniors get a gift and new and old core etc. It's important to recognize people. And Miwa pointed that out. Respect. That's right girl.

At the end of the dinner I was getting anxious because there wasn't a group picture. I was pulling my hair out because group pictures, to me, 'seal the deal.' But luckily the new historian with his SLR organized a group shot outside the building. Saved!

Miwa made an announcement, "If you're 21, we are going to a bar..." 10 minutes later someone else made an announcement, "If you're NOT 21, let's HANG OUT!" This made me very happy! The youngin's are taking care of themselves while the older kids can go out. As it should be. Brilliant.

At the Bar I bought two rounds of drinks and a large plate of nachos. I flirted with the guy making the nachos and he spilled a bucked of salsa on the floor. Oops. JV said I had the BIGGEST smile on my face and that there was this positive aura surrounding me when I brought the plate of nachos back to the table. Well of course, I love nachos... and I love NSU.

Maressa, came in and I exploded with excitement. We got tequila and lick the salt off each other's arms. This girl, knows good fun. I love it. I remembered her parties. Especially Halloween when she was dressed as a cowgirl holding two handles of liquor, "who wants a shot?" I heart Maressa.

Buzzed, we all stumbled to see what the new generation was up to. As we walked the streets of Berkeley, I poked a guy walking passed me. "Why'd you touch me, BIIiIIITCH!?" Omg. I forgot facebook poking and real life poking was very very very different. I walked a little faster laughing at how angry he was. Why must people get so angry? Gosh. When we finally got there, to my surprise the underaged ones were as drunk, if not more drunk than we were. "SHHHHH!" Everyone shouted. I met a couple of the new core and I am beyond excited for the new year! For NSU! YES!

I stumbled upon a conversation, "I just think girl parts are more attractive, you know the roundness... sensual etc.!" This conversation sounded too familiar, I jumped in. "OH yeah! So you prefer curves over sharp angles!?" The guy goes, "RIGHT ON!" And gives me a high five.. as if I was agreeing with him. Hah.

I crashed at Kevin's place and bounced early in the morning, quickly returning to current chapter of my life that I had been living for the passed year.

I remembered that the difference between VSA and NSU for me was that I was in NSU for 3 years. I was a leader for a good portion of that time and I had devoted a lot of my time defining the club. VSA, I was only a part of for a semester. And from the get go... I felt distant from VSA even though I am ethnically connected. Also, the week before at the VSA banquet or rather Berkeley in general, I was looking for something that I shouldn't have been. My life is here right now. In this office... counting weekends. Sigh.

It makes me happy to see old faces that I defined my undergrad with... share a drink to celebrate good times... just to raise a glass to remembering college for a night and returning home where I belonged. Love it.
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http://www.projectmichelle.com/

Don't Ask. Don't Tell. Save a Life.

After reading Huy's comment regarding restrictions on donating blood vs. donating bone marrow/stem cells, I realized that I needed to educate myself before I make such outlandish accusations to society.

I called the Asian American Donor Program (AADP) at 510-568-3700 and asked them what the policy is on gay donors. The pleasant lady informed me that when asked sexuality questions I can choose to "defer" my answers. She also continued to say that there have been many gay donors.

So... the "loop hole" so to speak is NOT to lie, but rather defer the question all together. I have that choice. She clarified, like Huy clarified, that there are different policies for donating blood and donating bone marrow/stem cells, especially with its urgency.

Well then. I registered and my home test kit is being sent tomorrow. And you should too my gay gay gay gay readers.

Save a life with your gay bone marrow. Please.
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http://www.projectmichelle.com





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Driving to work I day dreamed of being back at Berkeley among my peers on Sproul during Noon. I imagined myself wearing a giant sign: SAVE A LIFE and yelling through a megaphone:
"PLEASE REGISTER!"

I would do cartwheels and flyer everyone on campus. Email all the listservs that I belong to. Post flyers in Dwinelle, Wheeler, the dorms, the FRATs and replace them the second they get torn down. And educate people... on why registering is SO important.

And at the same time, I wonder what type of person I am because I say I want to do these great things for people I love... but ONLY when I'm asked to. ONLY when I am in a situation where it is necessary that I take action otherwise, my heart will suffer. What type of person am I?

And I understand people, who don't donate. Who recycle (I hope RECYCLE) my flyer because registering is NOT important to them because... it doesn't affect them. Because the people that they love are NOT on the clock. I understand you... because I am you. But please be better than me. Please consider registering. Please consider caring about strangers.

Please.

Please Save Her.

I just learned that my friend, practically my cousin, needs to find a match for her bone marrow transplant by June 21st . Please read the letter below and widely distribute.

http://www.projectmichelle.com

It is illegal for Gay Men to Donate Blood. See article here.

The FDA banned any man who has had sex with another man since 1977 from giving blood [or bone marrow]. At San Jose State, this has caused so much controversy that they banned blood donation drives all together. I've known this since sophomore year of college, and since then I've used it as an excuse so that I do not HAVE to donate blood.

I am scared. Scared of needles and this ban provided some sort of guilt relief because when people ask me, Have I donated yet... instead of saying, "no... um.. because, well, I'm selfish." I say, "no, because the US is a fucked up country who thinks my blood is disease infested!"

But now, I regret this excuse because it has prohibited me from saving an individual who become a part of my family. It doesn't matter that I've heard it so often "save a life! ... blah blah... SAVE A LIFE!" only when it hit close home that I feel utterly frustrated that I can't do anything because of legality... because of homophobia.

Before you can donate blood, they ask screening questions to see if you are qualified. One of them asks, "Have you had sex with other men?" They should rephrase the question: "So NOW you want to try to save a life, well, your gay blood is STILL unwelcomed, do you want to lie, break a law and continue?"

My parents registered.
My mom asked me if I want to. I told her they wont let me... because I'm gay.
She responds, .. "I don't get it... it's the human body."

I guess Gays aren't human.

Please help.
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Hi everyone,

Please take a moment to read this email. Michelle, has been diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML), which is a cancer of the blood. She is in urgent need of a bone marrow transplant. Michelle is 26 years old -- she is an incredible human being and friend. Michelle was first diagnosed in February 2007. This past week we learned Michelle had relapsed and her cancer had returned.

Michelle, a Chinese-Vietnamese American and Berkeley alum, urgently needs our help in giving her a new chance at life. She is undergoing chemotherapy at present but needs to find a match for her bone marrow transplant by June 21st .

Fortunately, you can help. Let's use the power of the net to save her life…something that couldn't be done years ago, but is now possible.


Three Things You Can Do
1. Please get registered.

Getting registered is quick and requires a simple cheek swab and paperwork (10 minutes of your time). If you are actually a match, the donation process is VERY similar to giving blood.

We have created an organization called "Project Michelle" (http://www.projectmichelle.com/) to increase the number of Asians registered in the bone marrow registry. Our goal is to enroll 15,000 Asians. Her match is most likely to come from a person of Asian descent, however, very few Asians are actually in the registry and this makes it very difficult for doctors to find them a match. This is why we need your help.

We are currently organizing drives nationwide, and I need you to get registered by visiting a local drive. Please check our website for information about drives in your area (http://www.projectmichelle.com/drives.html).

You can also get registered easily by ordering a free home kit http://www.aadp.org/pages/register.php. Please indicate in the additional notes box of your test materials "For Michelle. To be expedited.".

2. Organize a drive.

Organize a drive in your community (workplace, church, community center , etc.) http://www.projectmichelle.com/howtodrives.html.

At a minimum, please share this email message with at least 20 people, and ask them to do the same. Please point your friends to local drives, ask them to get registered, and organize a drive in their own community.

Please use the power of your address book to spread this message – today more than ever before, we can achieve broad scale and be part of a large online movement to save lives.


3. Learn more

To learn more, please visit (http://www.projectmichelle.com/). The site includes more details on how to organize your own drive, valuable information about leukemia, plus FAQs on registering.

Thank you for getting registered and joining this effort to help Michelle win her fight against leukemia – and for helping others who may face blood disorders in the future.

With love,

Friends and Family of Michelle


* * * * *

FAQs on Bone Marrow Transplant

How do I know if I'm a match?

If you are found to be a possible match, you will be contacted by the National Registry or your local center. You will be presented with the option of proceeding to the next level of testing.

How my marrow is collected?

The most common procedure is peripheral blood stem cell collection. You are given injections to support overproduction of marrow, which is then released into your circulating blood. The cells are collected by removing blood from a vein in your arm during a simple procedure. This is very similar to donating blood – isn't it amazing that it's that easy to save someone's life?!


http://www.projectmichelle.com/

You're Still My Mate

I wish all the straights that I hit on would react in the same way! ;)

Thanks downelink for posting this! LOL!

Blame it on the Season

I called Joe up on my drive home and he said...

"I read your blog.... YOU'RE LONELY!??!?! WTF!?!??!"

Haha, well, yeah, that's how I felt the day before.. I was just in a mood. But I snapped out of it. Joe says that he hates spring because everyone acts all crazy and Emo. I'd have to agree.

I was jealous of Joe and Zto though, they spent their Saturday in the Castro at Club Papi. Joe told me that the gay club was EVERYTHING you'd expect in a "gay club," hot Latino bodies, go go dancers, groping, drunkness. Sex SEX SEX lining the floors and walls and of course Kat Deluna on stage singing Whine Up 4 times, once in Spanish. HAHA, that's where I belonged; that's my community post college. LOL. Who needs a mentor when you have tequila?

There were some other explicit details, but I'll save it until I get to experience gay clubbing that's NOT Dragon or 18+.

4.5 Yards of Lycra

This wasn't my idea, but I'm going to take credit for going out and buying the material and having it stitched. But it needs a name... Hmm Human Rubberband? Oscillating Lycra? Hmm.

Yes. People run into each other. And if you play with big guys like Tony, you go flying! And you're too tall, you may get closelined.

What's the point? To launch your friends! LOL
Try it!

TGIF Indeed

I had very good week.

I submitted my resume to some companies thanks to the help of my cousins who made me realize that I have a lot to learn.

I sold a service contract worth 25K. Yes!

Organized all the blogs I read using google.com/reader

And... Shrugs.

I had this convo with Joe over GCHAT:

Joe: im still amazed that you are not out with your family
me: im very straight acting contrary to your belief
Joe: HAHAHAHA
Joe: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::breathe::
Joe: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me: horrible

Joe: oh chris. out of all of us...you are the most comfortable with yourself.
me: please
Joe: and i admire that a lot. NO you are
me: how do I seem most comfortable?

Joe: you fart, burp, wear whatever whenever, talk about anything anywhere.... you're crazy open-minded.

me: that's disgusting I'm disgusting!!

Joe: and thats why i like talking to you about personal stuff
me: aww
Joe: because not enough bugs you

me: a lot of things bug me!
Joe: but not about yourself

Joe: so anyway thats what surprises me because my parents do
know about me, but im surprised you havent and you talk to your
parents a lot more than i do

Heh. I never really thought about.
But I really don't think I'm that comfortable with myself.

Regarding my family. Everyone knows except my dad, sort of. I wrote about it here.

I know my dad knows. But maybe it makes him happy to have hope and coming out and confirming that I am queer will crush all the dreams he had for me: getting married, having kids, passing on the lineage, being a perfect puzzle piece of
society. So I stay silent so that he can pretend that I just haven't found the
right girl...

I stay silent so that he doesn't have to cry because I'm not
the perfect son that I wish I was...

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This weekend is already PPS. There are no plans and I don't feel like making any. What I want to do is go shopping, replace outdated clothes with new. And spend some time on my April recap. BTW. Does anyone want to dress me?