Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Unprotected Moments

Today was my LAST DUI Class.

The instructor had me come up to the front and explain to the class what I got out of the program. With a confident tone I explained that I had made a decision that had turned my life upside down and that I'm pushing hard to repair it.

And that every choice that we make has to be questioned regardless of how confident we are.

Trying to piece things together, people remind me that a DUI is not a big deal so that I can move on quickly with my life. Contradictorily, I am also reminded that it is a big deal because it has affected how others view me and how I feel about myself. This DUI has cost me a lot of money, stress and strain on my friends and family because it's as if they have DUIs too having to take care of me. And I fear the day that I am denied a job that I desire because of my reckless history.

I should be thankful it's over, but frankly it's not. Every breath that I take and accident that I see on the road I am reminded of how vulnerable we are. How careless we can become with our life... how caught up we become in fun, depression, excitement ... living that we forget to protect ourselves. And during those unprotected moments is when we choose to fail.

Justin poses a question:
Is it time to stop living as if I'm gonna live forever?


I am under probation. If I am with a drunk driver, I am sentenced. If I have a blood level alcohol of .02, I am sent back to jail. If I have a beer in my hand and a bicycle to my left I can be charged with another DUI. And I'd have to go through all of this again.


Since I was born my mom said to me: Think Twice.

But how can you enjoy your life if you're so cautious? I am envious of those who don't think at all and are lucky enough to avoid any repercussions.


It's time to leave the country because everything I have here is wonderful, but I belong somewhere else right now. Over there, I'll have to think thrice.. and maybe when I return thinking twice will become more natural.

This is what I learned this year starting with the biggest realization of my entire life:

April: You Really Can't Trust Anyone
May: You Can't Sell Something You Don't Believe In
June: Take Accountability for the Decisions that You Make
July: You Are Your Only Salvation
Aug: Know How Much You're Worth

And this September I am embarking on a New Chapter.
Join Me.

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