Thursday, April 30, 2009


I have a date tonight.

he's so not my type.

BUT... let's give it a go.

bah, it may be just a fling. Sigh, I had to use my Kragen Voice for so long.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Zto RETURNS.... with a Rodent


So Zto grew attached to this "fat bitch" he bought in Japan to keep him company while he was abroad for 3 months. So attached that he wanted to take her home...

So he smuggled over the hamster from Japan!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not kidding. Don't let this perpetuate gay stereotypes, but he stuffed it his pants through airport security.

NO Razors
NO Liquids
YES Rodents

"please unbuckle your pants..... is that cocaine? ......... o M G!!!!!!"

He also shipped EXTRA Cheesy Pringles and a Giraffe Notepad!
YAY! All is right now! I missed yah!

Leaving a Mark

It's interesting how people come and go from our lives, yet never do they go without leaving a mark.

I guess, when searching for friends you keep people who manage "not to bore you." The close friends you pick from now on really do match your values & life style. And good friends are hard to find through a crowd of kids that have grazed your shoulder without catching your attention...

But it's sad to me how friends can go when their needs no longer match yours, when what they got out of the friendship initially changed after some incident, or when their life takes them somewhere else...

I guess, that's why I take pictures and turn them into gifts in hopes that I left a mark on them.
I am ridiculously sentimental.

Good Luck in New York Carl.


Now I can get back in shape. No more Nacho and Buffet Adventures! *sad face*

Last Carl & Chris' TOTALLY NACHO ADVENTURE! For a little bit.
Category: Sports Bar Nachos

11 bucks and delicious!

Carl remembered eating here a long time ago. He remembered it was really good and his memory served him well. Delicious. I'll let the picture do the talking.

Pete's Tavern in San Francisco
. A Macho Nacho!... though there wasn't enough meat. A major negative.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Bah, Reading Craigslist

Okay, I'm back browsing Craigslist. My finger sort of slips when I intend to press "JOBS" I inadvertently hit "Missed Connections."

But check this ad out! LOL! I responded to him with some "letopho" advice. Yes, I am up to no good.

PLEASE HELP - m4m - 23 (san jose south)

Date: 2009-04-22, 3:44AM PDT

ok this has been bothering me and i dont have anybody to talk to about it so i decided to post on here. i would appreciate a good response of feedback, if you are interested in helping please read on. i have never posted on here but this is the only site i could found to post about my situation. if i'm in the wrong place (which im sure i am reading the other ads) then my bad dudes

ok so i am a straight guy. i do not, have not, NEVER have been attracted to guys. any type of guys. i have always been attracted to girls and i currently have a girlfriend. i love pussy too much to get turned on by on 4/20 after school and hitting the gym i went to my buddy's house in santa cruz, we were suppose to go to a party that night. before we left his pad we decided to roll a joint and just smoke one before we leave (i'm not a pothead nor is my buddy but since it's 420 and we got a full bag of free bud from his room mate we smoked it) the bud we smoked was really some strong shit and a joint really got both of us fucked up. we sat in his backyard right by the beach and we just lied there, laughin and feeling lazy. then we both got up to go back in the house and then we just started making out. we made out for a long time, no talking, just kissing with tounge. even though i was really messed up that night, i was aware i was kissing my GUY friend but i didn't stop myself. he didn't either. he's definitely also straight, also got a girl, he's the player type and i am sure he's straight. we didn't do anything else that night, we just made out probably for an hour, we barely talked with each other we just made out. we ended up staying in and i left about 3 hours later after i was feeling better. he was sleeping when i left.

i haven't talked to him since that night. even though he was also fucked up that night i am sure that he knew what happened. this has been bothering me. honestly, i did enjoy making out with my friend, but there was no any type of connection there, i guess just a good time. it really felt weird kissing someone with a 5 o'clock shadow facial hair (now i know what my girl feels when she kiss me) my friend is definitely good looking but i am not attracted to him in any way......

the kissing has really bothered me. i don't know if i should go ahead and talk about what happened or just play it cool and not open the topic at all. what should i do? am i gay or bi because i enjoyed the kiss? it really felt weird, but i have to be honest and say that i did enjoy it, but i'm not physically attracted or anything (i am not physically attracted to any guy) i have not told anybody and i definitely will not tell anyone, but this shit really has been bothering me. i am having too much mixed feelings. thinking about the topic, for one second i'd get turned on, one second disgusted, one second awkward, one second i fee wrong... anyways... i'd appreciate any good responses and thanks for reading.


So I responded saying that he isn't gay that when you're high/drunk you focus on pleasure and kissing/touching anyone feels good whatever gender or level of ugly. He shouldn't freak out and just play it cool... and that being gay has a lot more to do with emotions. Otherwise, it's just sex/pleasure with guys.

The Internet is the Gay Man's Guide Book.

Let It Grow.


Pardon me while I let my hair grow.

My hair is getting long... so now I have to switch to MOOOOOse & Blow drying. I know you think it's ugly, but PSHAW... I'm giving it one more month.

The Longest I've Ever Had It


I like boys that sound funny & look like cats.
And dance.

Johnee will you marry me?

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Church Makes me Think Nasty

When I don't feel like writing. I'm going to comment on a Post Secret entry that I connect with. You should too.

I also think about dirty things during funerals. My mind is vastly inappropriate.


Chris shared this with me.

I love it. I find it interesting when folks speak an unexpected language. I love Asians who speak Spanish/French and White folks who speak an Asian language etc etc.

At the Asian/Mexican Market there was an ambiguous dark skinned butcher who jumped from English to Vietnamese to Spanish within 5 minutes. It was brilliant.


I deleted my Adam4Adam account. I figured, I hooked up with a guy from there and I really wasn't into the anonymity of it and there's nothing more that I needed from that site.

Folks judge... oh so and so hooks up with guys from online. *gasp*. Without really appreciating the community that they are a part of. Without realizing that back in the day they had an account on, they were in Gay Chat rooms on AOL (GAM), they were chatting with folks on rateapix/hotornot they were just as bad because they were little horny curious teenagers. And from there became the foundation of their gay network.

It's hard to be gay. It's hard to meet people. It's hard to feel wanted. Being gay and lonely seem to go hand in hand. So it makes sense that the web is our resource. Just be safe & responsible.

Friday, April 24, 2009

It is Written

I just watched Slum Dog Millionaire.

I don't believe in Destiny, but I like pretending.


I like to buy lotto tickets with the numbers included in my fortune cookie.


I just applied to be a barback at a night club. In hopes of eventually being a bartender.


I wrote a note on the back of my receipt and handed it to a bus boy. It said, "Yo, I think you're cute." Aaron witnessed this and told me he was embarrassed for me and we dashed out of the restaurant.


While watching American Idol, I drank out of a glass I thought was mine. When I looked inside the glass, there was mold floating around. I didn't feel nauseous.


Quest Crew is so Pretty.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A Gathering Storm

Hilarious! This ad is definitely promoting Same Sex Marriage because it's SO funny!

"I'm a doctor who might have to obey my Hippocratic oath."
"My organization might lose its government funding due to its discriminatory practices."
"My child will be taught things, and I am too ineffectual a parent to teach them anything of my own."

Are these really the best reasons they could come up with?


My mom said that I have bad skin because I haven't had sex with a woman yet. Something about hormones.

Good try mom.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Problem Solved

The 19 Year Old told me about some muscle dude with an MBA and nice butt that likes him. He told me he likes him back etc etc.

And for some strange reason, I felt a rush of jealousy. Like when your body gets warm and your heart beats irregularly.

I couldn't understand why I was reacting in such a way until my friend told me that I had feelings for him. Me? Have feelings for the 19 Year Old?!? No...

I just liked the attention the 19 Year Old was giving me. He made me feel attractive while I felt uncomfortable and awkward in my own skin. (You know.. my awkward twenties)

"Those.. are feelings Chris."

An epiphany. My friend was right... though I brushed them off as trivial, they were indeed a sort of "feeling" that I had for the 19 year old... and this is why I was getting jealous.

Well, with that mystery solved. I took a shower and got over it. Problem solved. Stupid Dangerous 19 year old.

I'm Feeling Rin on the Rox. Go Bay Area Asian American Talent:

The Monsoon Blew Me Away

"Oh Christopher, you graduated in 2007.. shouldn't you be paying for professional cultural performances?"

No. I am a College Culture Show Junkie.

After the Indian Culture Show, I drove BACK to Berkeley the next day for the prestigious Berkeley Vietnamese Culture Show.

I laughed, I cried, I wanted more.

I love seeing art and passion spilled on the stage from students with an earnest desire to convey to the audience that they are trying their best to understand themselves, their heritage, and their culture while sharing it with you. And by individually contributing talent, together as a community are able to create... a master piece.


What I love about this Year's Culture Show
This year's culture show was titled: Monsoon.
And with directors that bleed art, a culture show chair that defines passion, choreographers with experience and people designated to make up, costume, light, props.. etc.... I'd say the Monsoon, blew me away with it's near flawlessness.

But particularly, this year's culture show was not a blunt display of Vietnamese Culture, but rather an metaphorical expression of the human experience.

Lines and ideas that stuck out:
Act I: Incense burn. The smoke goes to the gods, the ashes to the dead and the remaining stick to remind us of our prayer.

Act II... We have no choice but to separate in search of our own life giving water only to realize that we all came from the same place with the same goal... we are the same people. They were talking about the Vietnam War diaspora, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you were paying attention.

The Monsoon... 3 Acts with unsettling endings because LIFE is a story.. connected by other stories with unanswered questions... and not everything has a happy ending.
Team Sriracha blew me out of the water AGAIN!! You can see how the Choreographers mature as their dance moves become more complicated and very visually pleasing, I'm glad they come back every year. I also love how Sriracha dance has been dark and conflicted! View the progression of Sriracha here.

I didn't take pictures, I hope other photographers post their pictures soon because there were so many beautiful moments.

It was deep. Apparently "too deep" for some of it's viewers.
The subtleties were strong and complex.
The colors were bold.

The costumes were amazing and most were handmade (except Jennies who wore her H&M V-Neck and skinny jeans for a period piece.) Two costumes stood out. The Phoenix that made me question my sexuality, her legs were so long and sexy. And the Dark Spirit who made me piss my pants and about 5 children cry in the audience.
This year the storyline had substance, dimension and detail. The Vietnamese experience was displayed on stage as a deep metaphor.

I absolutely loved it.
JV's Interpretation of the Monsoon here. A must read especially for those who watched the show...


And the Vietnamese dialogue which was once 75% of the show became... 5%. Though non-speakers were able to enjoy the show more fully, it's a saddening truth that the generation on stage is a generation stripped of words other than, "troi oi!" But we hold on tight... we don't want to forget everything.... even though when we try to speak Vietnamese it's just funny.

I'm really vulgar.
I should watch my mouth sometimes.

To the folks who asked how I enjoyed the show I said, "it was SO orgasmic, I feel bad for the guy in front of me... I had to hand him a napkin."

I forget that not everyone appreciates my trashy humor.

Never take your culture for granted... nor underestimate the capability of students.

Cancer Needs to Go Away.

Cancer lingers like a bad fart.

Pictures of my cousin Michelle celebrating life really makes me smile.


The list of individuals searching for a match grows.


I feel like Leukemia is strategic. Leukemia plays that game and selects beautiful people of different communities to devour... resulting in large movements.

To my knowledge Project Michelle found two matches for other patients, but not Michelle.

While we Help Tami, Save Saret, Help Gaurav, Team Matthew we aren't saving that particular person, but rather we are saving ourselves from the Cancer of our society.

Because only when you attach a name does it matter...."Save A Life" means nothing. Save [Insert Someone You Love Here].org means everything...


I discovered a 19 year old blogger just passed away. He broke his leg while jogging and they discovered bone cancer. He proceeded to catch pneumonia and then passed away.

19.. seriously just a kid.


In this cynical entry. I predicted that 19 year old AJ would get back with his first boyfriend after a conversation where they put "everything" on the table. I hella Called it! BAM!!!

Man, gay stories aren't exciting when you know what's going to happen. I guess people tend to follow the same path... we are all the same. But I suspect that allows us to be capable of making such theories and life altering predictions.... in hopes of being better.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Just Do What Everyone Else is Doing

This week I re-educated myself about two things that make me smile.
What do Bollywood Dance and Para Para have in common?

They both involve a combination of seemingly simple dance movements, but in actuality you need a lot of coordination. Both are very high if you were on drugs. And it only looks good when you have a billion other people behind you do it too. But India wins over Japan because they add colors... and because it's a billion dollar industry.

...and yeah. Bollywood Dance is definitely cooler... and Para Para is dying.

I was at the Berkeley Indus Culture Shows and while singing along to one of the songs and waving my hands in the air like a crazy lunatic (benny lava!) The guy next to me goes... "it's great huh!? that's my people!!!!" Omg, I was so awkward.

But um.. i guess the point is. Dance. Even though you think you look retarded, if everyone else is doing it... you may be okay!

I love doing dances that everyone else knows the moves to! WOOT!


Observation: Gay Clubs don't enforce a dress code because gay people dress well enough already.
Questions: Who coined the term "Hot and Bothered" and "Vapid and Shallow."
Listening: To Indian Music and Dancing in my room while offending a population of 1,147,995,904
My Body Is: Bloated from Sushi Buffet, Sour Dough Jack, and Indian Food
To Do: Go to an Indian Night Club!!!!!!! Where are my gay Indian Friends?

Sunglasses in the da club = instant coolness.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


...pretty much


Liberating Love

To all the people that say love is rare: say that to the millions of people fighting for equity and equality every day.

To all the people that say beauty belongs to only a few: look yourself in the mirror and exclaim that you are extravagant.

To all the people that believe only those who struggle can claim strength: raise your hand high—we all struggle in our own way.

To all the people that say wealth is only land and riches: take pleasure in the fact that you have wealth of body and mind.

To all the people that believe only artists can create art: pick up a brush, an instrument, a boombox. You are the artist.

To all the people that feel alone: someone else is feeling alone as well. The world is waiting for your debut.

To all the people that feel heartbreak is their modus operandi: love will find its way to you. Sometimes, it just prefers to take the longer way there.

To all the people that feel under served for their selflessness: you are the most deserving of all.

To all the people that feel change can only be made by activists: stand tall with us! Your realization for change makes you an activist and a fighter.

To all the people who are questioning: we are here to help you along the way.

To all the people that see age as a barrier: remember that at anytime, anyone can check us on our beliefs—young or old.

To all the people that see queerness as an excuse for unfaithfulness and dangerous party habits: know that there are those who are concerned for your safety, mentally and physically.

To all the people that wish to feel liberating love…

You are hope.

Words of Suh-Dill-Yah


Nate Suh-Dill-Yah is this dude who looks like me... actually, he reminds me of myself when I was younger and optimistic. We are very similar... aware of queerity, passionate in our thoughts, in love with culture, battling with skin issues, sensitive....

I like what he's saying. Though I can't help but wonder what it takes to break his optimism.... actually, I know what it takes. I wonder if it will happen.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The 19 Year Old Brings Out The 19 Year Old in Me

The kid asked me to go eat.
He threw bad directions at me and walked off. I was getting annoyed cuz I thought he was rude.
I called him to tell him that the directions he had given me were wrong.
He responded that I lacked common sense.

I started to argue.. "i dont lack common sense, you gave me bad directions!"

He responded, "Why are you being a little bitch?"

I responded, "I'm going home." And I ditch our dinner plans.


I'm going to Psycho-Analyze myself and diagnose two potential problems.
1. I am innately prideful and don't take verbal abuse well
2. My past relationships have created distinct nerves and buttons and that instead of making stronger have made me overly sensitive to particular statements and situations.

I'm thinking it's the combination of the two. A little bio and social influences that have made incapable looking pass meaningless words and reactions.


"Where are normal people who just happen to be gay?" Ironically, we are just as fucked up as the gay person next to us that we hate so much.

Folks who make bold statements:
"I live a drama free life." I find these folks to be the most dramatic
"Where are all the masculine gay people." I find these folks not to be so masculine themselves
"I'm so tired of the community." I find these folks to be the most recognized in the community.
"I'm over it...totally." I find these folks... not even close to being over it.

But in actuality things that we don't like about other people... are actually things we don't like about ourselves. So what about me?

I say... "trust no one." When... I'm probably the most trusting, vulnerable person ever. I'd like to be in a mature relationship because I claim to have been through enough of it. But I have yet to really grow up... I'm still 19.


So while trying to be better than our peers, the first step is being better than ourselves... and to realize that essentially, we are all the same.

"If I'm Ugly, then So Are You"

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

A lot of San Francisco

San Francisco is an amazing city... I guess that's why I've been going there so often recently.

Got lost in San Francisco. But then Will found us and we had Frjtz in the Mission.

The Cashier suggested- Pears, Cheese, focaccia bread. Delicious. What made it even more delicious was that it was 7 dollars with a dessert and ice tea!

Will inspires me... and made me realize how cynical I've become. That's what life does to you, huh?


When ever Sandy comes up to San Jose, she invites me out to GOOD Vietnamese food. Last time was Banh Xeo. This time it was Bun Bo Hue! Central Vietnamese food rocks! We went to her favorite place, but it was okay.. the broth was too clean. I need a lot VietNam dirt in my noodle dishes.

Then off to the Castro. I borrowed a flask.... and wow, what a brilliant idea. Like an unemployed bastard, I asked for a free soda, then snuck into the bathroom where I poured in my middle shelf vodkah! Better than drinking in the car.

My shirt is ridiculously blue. Carl said that I was the first good gay friend he made in the bay area. And of course, now he's leaving for New York. Bastard. He sort of completes a social circle and =/ Ugh, and just when we've warmed up to each other... he departs... to better things.

Hey Alexander Chen, you've been photobombed by LETOPHO at Lime!
I knew it was you!

Sandy dragged me everywhere.

Breakfast in the Mission and the Lao New Years Festival at the Civic Center.
I ran into this girl and we both acknowledged each other, "Um.. hey how do I know you??"
"From the last night, the Castro?"
Wow... ooops, this is why I take pictures.

The San Francisco Main Library, back to the Mission and the Sisterhood of Perpetual Self Indulgence... something was going on.

We had a picnic in Dolores park- Watched hipsters dance to electronica while smoking pot and hating on each other. "*Scoff* he's been listening to Justice for an hour.... *scoff, those jeans aren't tight enough... *scoff* I need a Cigarette" All while pushing back their untrimmed bangs. *SCOFFF*

And then we drove to the top of a hill where Sandy's friend had a plot in a community garden.
Ended the trip with terrible El Salvador food, apparently pupusas taste better deep friend.

ooooo.. baby Strawberries.

Carl, Suegol and I celebrated Monday at the new Bar on Church.

Has anyone seen his balls? They seem to be missing.
I know skinny jeans are in, but good lord... his sperm count must have depleted! Not even the new iPod Shuffle will fit in there.

I drank too much for a Monday. I bought a round, but both Carl and Suegol weren't feeling their drinks... so I drank them. Hmm... Jack in Box's new Sirloin sliders are to die for.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Spring Cleaning

I dropped my hard drive and the computer no longer recognized it.
Szeto suggested dropping it again so that the loose parts may get realigned. (like hitting a juke box)
Now.. it doesn't even turn on.

There goes 52 Gigs of prOn collected since high school on my 56K, TV shows... and some pictures.. =X

There's no point in grieving.


I painted an accent wall in my room a forest green, it looks more grown up.


I also donated poorly fitting, and bleached stained clothes.

It feels good to start fresh.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Don't Let People You Know become People You Knew

I haven't talked to Smyr in what feels to be like a century. I feel like he's grown up too fast being a high school biology teacher and recently getting back together with a college love.

But when his birthday rolled around and he had dinner with his best friends (his mom and dad) I made him a nice birthday card from scratch using old pictures. Essentially, to remind him to slow down and realize that he's only 24 and even though we haven't talked, I still consider him a good old friend.

I wonder, why I value him so much even though he's been out of sight. The answer is simple: because he is my only straight guy friend... who I haven't seduced... jk...... I have seduced him, but nevertheless it's because of high school, college and graduation. But look at all these hilarious high school pictures I found!!!!

Prom, lifeguarding, road trips, Berkeley, turning 21... You don't forget shit like that. And even though you grow a part, you still reserve a little spot for them in your heart.

And I think part of the reason is my activities may be a bit too gay for his liking. I think I tricked him in going to too many gay clubs that's he doesn't trust me anymore =X.


Lately, I've been going on a quest to make new friends (or rather new lovers). And I know exactly why. When ONCE AGAIN, I should be concentrating on the good friends that I already have. Duh. (And make lovers out of them, jk).

I'm going to start a new label: People.

Because it's important to realize who has impacted your life... and that growing a part doesn't mean ending a friendship.

This is Huan
This is Caitlin
These are My Boys
This is Ignia

The Scary Curl!

...yeah... high school.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

This... is a bad idea.

I stopped reading Craigslist a long time ago because it was getting old...

"I want you to FUCK me from behind! Straight acting only. White ++++"

It wasn't funny anymore. Then my friend send me the ad below:


At the suggestion of my friend, I decided it was time to jump back into dating after one year of absence.

Single, Hispanic&Asian, male who is seeking an Asian or White guy for something casual/nonchalant, like a cup of tea (I don't drink coffee) or a movie. My interests include reading everything from wikipedia to classic works of literature, jogging in the spring rain, yelping about my favorite restaurants, and spending quality time w/ nature. My demeanor is reserved/shy/a tad "socially awkward," but once I open up, I'm a blast of personality and wit. My looks are fluctuating, sometimes I feel like a mess and in rare days do I feel comfortable within my own skin. I guess this is still part of being a teenager (lol). I'm 5'9ish, slim, tan, dark brown eyes/hair. I have two conspicuous tattoos that I acquired during my first year of undergrad. Speaking of school, I studied international studies: political science at UCSD last year and I still plan to complete my degree.

I'm mostly attracted to White or Asian guys but I wouldn't discriminate if there was truly a connection with somebody (it is my belief that love is color blind). Be around 19-30, somewhat fit, in school/graduated, conscientious about the world we live in, and charismatic. If things go horribly wrong (no mutual attraction) I would like to be on friendly terms. People that use the words "str8acting," "retarded (in a pejorative sense)," best not answer my ad.

I have more pictures (they may be misleading...hahaha) that I would exchange and then things can go on from there. Please respond w/ a picture (not all gay guys are shallow). I like to envision whom I'm writing to.

P.S. Extra points for those who can identify the man on my pic attached : - )


Are you shitting me?! I love this guy already.
One problem: he's 19. Oh fuck.

No, I promised myself not to meet boys off craigslist ever since James.

...but a cup of tea wouldn't hurt right? Fuck.

I'm going to respond.


What about the 19 year old behaviorist? I don't think he likes me anymore. :\


Ugh.. where are the interesting 25 year olds?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Mobile Uploads III

Mobile Uploads I
Mobile Uploads II

If I don't have my Camera... I have my phone.

I Hang

She smokes while she sits on her dog's bed... she's buzzed

He smokes, while he sips on a Jamba Juice after the Gym... it's so "Sex in the City"

We stand, while we wait for Hip-hop Class to Begin... it looks easy.

I Eat.. fancy

I Eat Here because there are pictures and strawberries on my pizza.

I look good in your jacket you never wear.

I don't know if it's worth buying... so I text my friends for fashion advice

"No, everyone has that, and yes."

I think this store is a Mess

Only in San Jose

It says: he lost 66 lbs. Looks more like he put on a t-shirt and is standing next to a girl. I don't think you need a trainer to do that.

It says: "Chubs Gone Wild. A Party for Big Guys and Their Admirers." Are they wearing t-shirts and standing next to girls?