Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Defeated

I'm really trying to make the best of this.

I got a bike, I bought a bike lock... I'm trying really hard.
All junior colleges are 1.5 hours away from me via public transportation.

Yesterday, I felt like a superstar- biking 3 miles to the gym, swimming laps, lifting weights.
Diana's in town and we biked around the city visiting friends at night. I finally got Whey protein powder for my all healthy smoothies so that I can develop a sexy body and to my surprise it was delicious.

After a night of reminiscent board games with some high school friends I took a shower and did some pull ups. I then felt a sharp pain in my shoulder.

My parents were asleep so I said nothing. I literally fell on my bed to prayed that the pain would go away. I woke up at 3:00am paralyzed. I couldn't move much of my upper body with out shooting pains on my right side. I couldn't turn my head or move my arms.

I pulled my shoulder muscle. I guess a sudden day of rigorous activity sent my body into chaos. My mom had to help me lift my body in the morning before she rushed to work. I was in agonizing pain and I couldn't go to the doctor because I don't have health insurance right now. I can fight this on my own. But as I type this my neck is stiff and I'm afraid of making sudden movements because my body might send more sharp pains...
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I feel defeated. DUI school for the passed 3 weeks has become redundant and uninteresting; the instructor reminding us that we were being punishment. I roll my eyes when he uses the same jokes after jokes about the band on pets, cell phone clocks being accurate and the percentage of alcoholics in the room.

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I lent my bicycle lock to a friend. By accident, my friend reset the lock and now I don't know the combination. So I'm back to square one with burdening friends and family to shuttle me to replace the fucker.

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I just want to feel better. Why am I having such a hard time saving myself?
I just want to feel good about myself. I just want to be as confident as I was just last year.

2 comments:

dannie said...

you'll regain your confidence chris. hope you recover soon.

JV said...

*hug*