Thursday, August 28, 2008

Community Service Day 4:Flirting with Danger

Back folding clothes in the basement of the Jail in inmate services. Endless I tell you.

The first day I arrived at the main jail, I immediately noticed this really cute guy. It wasn't until today that I had the opportunity to flirt with him. I purposely folded shirts next to him while he sorted the bins in the basement of the jail.

"Are you part Korean?" I asked because he made a comment that made me suspect it.
"Actually, I'm Japanese."
"So Japanese and white?"
"Japanese, Okinawan and some European that I haven't traced." He explained how much pride he had being Okinawan. EEE cuteeee.

"So.. how many days do you have?"
"30, I go in Monday through Saturday, I rest Sunday."
"Wow, so... what you'd do?"
"....oh, I uh... stole a car." He had a cute sheepish smile that sold me when I first saw him.

Okay. SO.... he was screaming, not dateable... but man, something about a bad boy made me continuously interested. Imagine me telling the story, "so howd you guys meet?" "Oh at community service he just stole a car and I was drunk was his smile that caught my attention as we were sorting through orange underwear from prisoners." Anyway...

"How old are you?" Let's be safe right?
"18" WHAT THE FUCK!?!??!!??!?!? OMG!! WHY?! Please don't think I'm pedophilic, he looked really old, but that's what they all say right? But, hey, I DIDN'T KNOW!

I asked him about school, family, music etc. He was so adorable. (K, now you can think I'm pedophilic). He started to talk about how he's musical, a break dancer, and wants to travel the world; he named 10 specific countries. He wants to go to places to understand cultures so that he can work in social justice. He confidently explained that people who support immigrants, don't know what they really need because they've never been to the country.

He was passionate about social justice, he expressed how he really enjoyed volunteering to get people to register to vote. I could tell in his voice, he genuinely loved it.

I was confused to why someone with so much direction would steal a car.

He explained that he just needed to be punished for something. He needed a wake up call... and stealing car seemed to be an adequate solution. Maybe no one was offering him reality so he decided to ask for it on plate. But he was close to getting a felony.

It makes sense. We become too comfortable.

The entire day he caught me staring at him and he returned a smile, but not because he was flirting back. He was just being goofy and didn't care to know me. He didn't ask me anything. He just talked about what makes him excited... I was going to ask him if he wanted to grab something to eat after the community service, but then he talked about he just wants to nap when he gets home because he was talking to all these random girls last night.

Heh. Oh well.

Jail Time.
This new guy told me that he was put in jail for 4 months for "breaking up a fight." He was charged with assault with one year left in college. When he got out, he couldn't sleep in regular beds because they are too soft. The beds in jail are one inch thick on top of metal and he rolled a blanket to make a pillow. When he's at home, he just sits in silence because in Jail, there was always noise.

He wasn't angry, depressed... he had already made it to acceptance in the grieving process.

The people I met in community service that I hope to see again:
-Cocktail Waitress at Britannian Arms
-Bartender at Straights in Santana Row
-Young Chef at new European Restaurant in Milpitas

Jail itself
It's an interesting place, camera's everywhere. Doors are controlled from a station and don't open unless other doors are closed. Inmates wearing red wear chains around their ankles because they are on highest security. Their crime- unthinkable.

Today I ate what the prisoners ate: beans and tortilla in a TV dinner style tray that was nuked in an industrial microwave. It was terrible.

Another prisoner tried to commit suicide. They makes spears out of paper and attack themselves.

Do I deserve to be here?
The answer is yes.

I Deserve to Be Here
I've been writing indignant entries about this whole experience. Selfishly declaring it as an unfortunate event in my undeserving life and picking pieces of it as learning tools to make me a better person. Trying to convince myself that it's no big deal when it is.

Because of Jacqueline Saburido.
I felt nauseous reading her story.
She has the most beautiful voice ever.

I could have killed someone.
I was lucky enough to be pulled over.

And I realized this on my own. Not because of what I'm being force fed at DUI school, not because of the community service or fines. Not because I hear statistics... but because I stumbled upon a "survivor" of drunk driving.

Now I know why people don't talk about their DUI's because it makes them feel ashamed. Because it's wrong despite the fact that it happens so often.

I was on the highway, I'm a bad driver to begin with. I am ashamed. It is a big deal.

1 comment:

Stanza said...

lol pedobearfor the win !! :)

Seriously, good to have some realisation hit you. I remembered when I first saw those pics of the aftermath in some chain mail that was going around. Really depressing stuff :(