Sunday, July 12, 2009

New Chapter Begins

I am having anxiety. I feel like I'm in a different country.

The Preparation.
I didn't go out with a bang, just a fizz. I had two weeks of goodbye lunches and dinners. Some casual clubbing, but nothing too intense. I should have gone to Hunter's on my last night, but I was sadly not packed.

Things worked out really well and the four boxes allotted to me turned into eight, but that's good considering that it's my life I'm moving.

The Drive.
Easier than I thought with the company of a friend. Christine gets me to think about things, life experiences particularly regarding "privilege" and "relationships" with others and ourselves ... she's a thinker. It was the first time I had driven for longer than 2 hours.

Cruise Control is fun.

I dropped Christine off in Rosemead where we enjoyed a Vietnamese snack:Bánh cuốn

The Move.
The place where I am staying for a week is in front a busy street. It sucks so much and parking is terrible. Hollywood is a funny place- such glamorous people in such a ghetto setting. I hope to move somewhere more residential.

Seyron lives in a studio in gay West Hollywood (WeHo) and he educated me on the LA neighborhoods. Apparently West Hollywood is a city and Hollywood is a neighborhood of LA. THAT'S why it's ghetto, LA is broke. And all the gays pour their disposable income into West Hollywood.

The Gay.
I celebrated the night with Seyron who was nice enough to house me for a week. We went to WeHo and spent 30 minutes looking for parking. I tried to imagine the vaguely familiar bright streets as my new home. It was difficult because it wasn't home... it's a road trip destination. Would I come here weekly to party? No. Probably monthly.

It is true that folks are more attractive- I spotted a handful of hotties, while in the bay they are a bit more eclectic physically. With all the fit bodies and groomed faces, I couldn't help but feel that the eye candy was nothing more than just eye candy. Saturdays in WeHo is extremely white... and muscular. I felt a little inadequate and an extreme minority. I felt like I needed a haircut and new shoes. And there was no hip hop to be found. Anywhere. Sigh.


Everyone has such a fierce pace in their walk here... everyone has attitude and something to say.

I ate with Seyron at a Brazilian place and the waitress was the archetype of a HAG. She winked and touched, called us honey, babe, sweet heart. She knows she gets better tips when she's fabulous. Even she was over the top.


We went to The Abbey and Here. I kept thinking about Joe and how much he would love this and how he would go every day. One of the dancers was definitely Joe's type physically. I was in mesmerized by their hanging packages.

I looked around. I knew NO ONE. I started to hyperventilate. JK. I was just out of my element



WeHo.. is overwhelmingly gay. Above is the city logo.
I think I like my gay in moderation... my fierce walk and snappy attitude once in a while. My fabulous, fantastic, baby, hugs and kisses on occasion. I can't do this on a daily or even weekly basis.

Overwhelmed.
I feel like WeHo is over the top. General things like Trader Joes, Ralphs, Carls Jr, the Sherif's Office were all LIT up and fancy and every other store is a "boutique" with tight fitting t shirts and cute undies. WeHo is gayer than the Castro and it is a SimCity designed by the gayest of the gays. It was strange and excessive. Everything is shiny... but I can't help but feel that there is a lack of substance.

People rush. It seems like no one is relaxed.

Uncomfortable.
There are a lot of things that I don't like such as traffic, rude people, pollution, challenging parking, and superficiality. Frankly, I am uncomfortable here, but being comfortable is boring... and I've been doing that for too long.

I am in an alien place. My network shrunk 10 fold. I don't know the roads, but Joe's tomtom will my new best friend. My long truck makes parking hard. I lack of confidence makes driving challenging.

This is the first time I am doing real world things: moving out, paying for rent, taking care of myself - being on my own without family or best friends.

So let's see how long I can last before I come running back to the Bay....... i miss you.

6 comments:

hellogenation said...

After one month you'll be like pfffff what was I so uncomfortable about. WeHo? Seriously I've never heard that term before, but at the same time it doesn't surprise me. You're going to end up living in the city?

letopho said...

WeHo! Get with the program! lol

dannie said...

give it a few more days. you wanted to move from the bay non? i'm sure you'll build a social network down in socal.

mich said...

you gots this. the first few weeks/months are always overwhelming, but you'll see it's not such a big deal after some time.

California Shy Guy said...

good luck :)

Anh said...

anhimals misses you!!!