Wednesday, July 8, 2009

..there's one more thing you need to know about me.

Yesterday I went to the city to have my last date with Jimmy.

Dinner at Poleng Lounge and a Concert at The Independent.

I bought 2 Buck Chuck from Trader Joes, but left it in my car because the corking fee was $15. Heh heh.... who does that? Dinner was flirtatious and the walk to the concert was chilly. "I'm... starting to get these feelings" Jimmy stated and I freaked.

"NO! You are not allowed to." He gave me a half smile.

===

While waiting for the concert we made small talk-

"So.. tell me 5 more things about you."

I told Jimmy superficial things
-That I'm obsessed with Blogging and Giraffes, but giraffe things (like tshirts), not stuffed animals.
-That my favorite TV show was So You Think I can Dance

I also told him that I was guarded. Guarded because this is bad timing (Career first! - Anthony was turned on by my ruthlessness). Guarded because of baggage, etc.

I also told him I have a lot of layers and that he only penetrated 2 while dating me for a month, but after thinking about it- There's actually not that many layers to me.

As the concert began, I felt a bit uncomfortable. I was surrounded by white folks with greasy hair and terrible unkempt beards. The band impressed me... especially the harmonies, the opening band was just noise. The guitarist scared the shit out of me because he had a im-going-to-rape-you facial expression as he strummed. Jimmy and I held hands and cupcaked in a seemingly gay unfriendly place, but no one gave a second look. We were in San Francisco.

"So are you an ass guy or boob guy?" Jimmy told me that he guessed he was a ass guy by default because guys don't have boobs. But I argued that pecs are the equivalent and I am indeed a BOOB guy. I prefer a guy with a nice chest over a nice ass.

==

As we departed at the BART station. I took a deep breath and said, "there is one more thing you need to know about me... I don't do long distance."

Jimmy simply responded, "I know..."
"Really?" I guess, I was expecting some other response.
"Yeah, I mean, we're not even mutually exclusive." I guess, by not saying much. I said enough. But I'm the type of person would likes closure and communication.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SEEING ON THE SIDE?!?" I joked.

I caught myself saying cliche things when I didn't need to. "Things would be different if I was staying...blah blah." And Jimmy didn't need any of that verbal comfort, but... I guess I did.

==

We hugged tight and kissed on the train as the doors opened for my departure. The woman behind us made an "aww" sound.

==

To me, Jimmy has only been out of the closest for 1.5 years. And despite that, Jimmy was not afraid to hold hands in public nor did let his emotions overpower his rationale. Something I thought would only come with experience...

...and as I think about what type of boys I like, I can't help but describe Jimmy... except they would be better on the phone.