Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Sex on the Brain, Not in the Bed

Welcome to 321 and a Half
The name of our apartment.

I describe my house as Sabrina the Teenage Witch's House. Szeto describes it as the gypsy house from "Drag Me to Hell" (Great movie, must see.)

Though, I can't help but feel that it may be haunted. With doors that go no where, cubby holes large enough for creatures to hide in and light bulbs missing, I definitely wouldn't want to be there alone.

Michelle ALSO lives in the attic in her new DC home. I guess we like to Anne Frank it. See that window on the very top? That's mine!


==

The old tenants were dirty, not dirty dishes dirty, but CHICKEN BONES on the carpet, CAT SHIT in Tupperware, CAT HAIR EVERYWHERE dirty. I went out and bought a box of latex gloves. But it's not our place to complain because they hooked us up with an unheard of price.

They still have their shit there though, so Ernesto and I had to retreat to Sam's room for the night. It was a cute brotherly slumber party. Sam has a great room, the sun and birds woke me up!

Ernesto said, "never would I have thought I would be living with you." Ernesto seems to enjoy my company because I not linked to him sexually, I'm not an ex, I'm just a friend that laughs at his jokes and keeps him company on random food ventures. WHICH is exactly what I need as well. Epic WIN!

I am so excited to decorate, so excited to make it my own and so excited to invite boys over so that I can seduce them.

Man I need a gallon of Lysol and Febreeze


==

The night before, I was at my sublet and said to myself, "um.. it would be nice to have some bed time company." So I used my 21st century resources and found some dude who lived near me. After I sent him my picture he responded, "we see each other around...kinda wanna cut back on the awkwardness...sorry."


I JUST MOVED HERE. And he recognized me?! Great. And then he stopped responding even though I said, ":D we have mutual friends??? Sigh. I just moved here too. Anyway, let's be friends then."


Ridiculous, it was for the best and I fell asleep.

==

Speaking of awkward, I messaged a really cute guy on the facebook:
"I find you ridiculously attractive. The ladies are lucky. Cheers"

He responded, "Thanks dood. Do me a favor and tell them for me. They tend to believe the contrary."

Adorable. So modest. Made me want him more.

But why do I put myself through this?

Chris Self Induced Fail.


==



I had a discussion with my roommates about etiquette. One of them said, "what about public sex?" We fell silent, "you know, like 'no sex on the couch?'" APPARENTLY someone forgot that there was a purpose of having your own room.


Shit, this is going to be a fun house.

3 comments:

dannie said...

oh chris, you're so friendly! the house looks like fun.

Luuworld said...

hurray! (dirty) house of fun! :-D

mich said...

another parallel of our bicoastal vietnamese lives: the last tenants in my apartment left this place totally JACKED UP. there were iron stains all over the carpet, rotting fish in the garbage disposal (along with thumbtacks, part of a pencil, and some trash), and i recently found out that they had 6 people living in this 3-person apartment. ugh ugh ugh.