Drifting on a Boat

Without being preoccupied, I find myself thinking, feeling and wandering places where I should not venture.  I've been dreaming, inceptioning and longing- talking to imaginary figures and projections of what I think it means to love and be loved.

Projections that have affected my reality and have caused me to desire something that I've made up in my mind.  You're right Jimmy, I would like a boyfriend. I would like to be in love, but only because my mind and heart have began to wander as the excitement of being in LA, breathing LA, loving LA has slowed down.

Work specifically:

Work has been without events and my coworkers have been leaving the company one after the other.  Cubicles are cleaned out and new folks who I don't jive with have to get retrained.  Today, was the last day for one of my team members and as he hugged me good bye I couldn't help but tear up.  Sweetest guy you'll ever meet.  Ridiculously selfless and very thoughtful. Blah.

Thursday was an industry event on a large boat that went in circles in the harbor.  I got free drinks using.. charm... or.. harassment, which ever and had a nice buzzed time with workmates and industry people.  My supervisor in a drunken stupor came up to me and said, "CHRIS! I FOUND YOU A BOY!! He's REALLLLY FLAMEY!! IS THAT YOUR TYPE?!"

Thanks.  I needed this event.  Work events distract me from these ridiculous emotions and desires.

 There was free henna and I'm tempted to get inked for real just looking at this photo, but the same concerns arise when I think about tattoos: it's so permanent.  And there is no symbol such as a peony that defines me.

The theme was black and white and I was able to sport a Henley that I had recently purchased.  I needed this event.  I hit the year mark at work and all the fun that I was having when I first started was escaping me, but being on a boat, making small talk was the perfect preoccupation.  Otherwise, my heart/mind would begin to wander again.