Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Just Talking About Sex

Trying on leather 101
I'm going to be real with you blog.

The sex dwindles the deeper you enter your long term relationship.  And you would think that Jimmy and I would talk more about it, but we don't because things have just become so comfortable.  And at times sex feels like a chore or a check list item between laundry and cooking because we're supposed to be doing it at least once a week to be considered "a healthy couple" reaching the 5th.. or was 6th year mark of our relationship. This weekend we got to talking about what we need from each other.  And what do you know, we had amazing louder-than-usual sex.  Wow, communication works instead of just blaming it on our mismatched schedules.

I had forgotten that I have 6 erogenous zones and Jimmy only has 1.  And that I really needed to say what I wanted him to do... in order to have my eyes roll behind my head.  And now I'm craving more and he's out in Atlanta for work getting black dick without me.

When I visited Brooklyn, a group of new friends started to talk about sex positivity among the gaysian community; specifically about kink.  They addressed that gaysians just don't talk about it and that needs to change, but I argued, do they not talk about whips and chains because it really doesn't excite them?  That a community of freaky deaky gaysians is really small?  But maybe, it doesn't exist because we don't talk about it.  A paradox.  I know that some folks think that my house parties are lined with sex, but they are really sexless parties, esp. compared to some other gay spaces I've had the pleasure of being invited to.   Regardless, the 321 space offers other forms of pleasantries that I am grateful for.

I know the gaysians in my circle who are freaks and I try to n'sync them together.  To create a small sub-community within a sub-community within a sub-community.   There's a curiosity here to really elevate sexual pleasure and desire that's not really addressed and maybe it's time to get out of comfort and really experiment with things other than just generically "boys."

Without a doubt I feel like the gaysians in New York and San Francisco are hooking up way more than Angelenos.  Why?  Because your erection disappears when your $15 uber gets lost.  Or you don't know where to park.  Or you're not that drunk because you have to drive.  Car culture has really ruined hooking up.  And at times I feel like my friends are really sex-less because of this or because they're not talking about it.    But let's change all of that.

More sex.  More talk about sex.  And... how many erogenous zones do you feel have been neglected?

**edit**
Just saw some Folsom pictures from the Gaysians in SF.  High heels, asses out.  Love love love.

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