Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Shotgun!



Guns are terrifying, but if we ever found ourselves in a Walking Dead - like zombie apocalypse, I will be ready to protect my man.


My heart was beating so fast and I was having a lot of chest pain because of how nervous I was.  There was nothing stopping the guy next to me from aiming his gun at me.  The tutorial was short and we were handed buckets with the guns we rented for the evening.  We were told to go to "lanes" 5, 6, and 7.... lanes... like bowling lanes.  But without the neon lights and bowling balls

After I got over my nerves, I was able to take aim at the business man target that I selected.  When I shot the first bullet, I stood in shock for a couple of seconds at the power that was sitting in my hands.  I was careful with where I placed my thumbs as the instructor told us that we could break our fingers if we were holding it improperly.  I also loaded my bullets backwards and jammed the gun.  Oops.

I remember the first time I held a gun.  My friend was dating a marine and he just had a gun in the living room that he would play with.  I remember how uneasy I felt especially since we were planning on drinking that night.

The boys insisted that I try a shotgun.  Boom.. it felt like a bazooka was resting in my arms.  One shot was good enough and I handed it back to my coworker who was a loving the experience a little too much.  That was a trip.

There were kids there - no age limit to shooting, just owning apparently.  There were also chicks in heals and some high schoolers that were looking for something cool to do after school.  The whole site was baffling.

There were no real safety precautions in place anywhere and I was just on edge praying for no accidents.


I'm happy I did it.  Checked that off my life to-do list and made it out alive.  But if I was asked to in some situation, I can say that I have shot a gun before and maybe I'm less useless for it.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Liquid Diet

TMI POST

I have to drink one gallon of laxatives to clear my system before my colonoscopy today.  This liquid diet isn't for vanity ... it's for health.

Looks like Jimmy and I are becoming old men really fast.  The waiting room was full of old people.  Apparently pooping problems is an old person issue.

Have you ever heard a girl go pee?  They make... SHHHHHH sounds.  My guess is instead of a smooth stream it's like someone set the hose nozzle to mist.  Anyway, I was experiencing that after my first 2 pints of liquid hell.  I was also starving.  I don't know why I was reading food blogs when I wasn't allowed to eat anything by chicken broth for 24+ hours.  Complete self inflicted torture.  Things that I normally find revolting like pastries in the morning or Cheesecake Factory was making my mouth water.

=

For years upon years, I've had hemorrhoid issues.  They come and go and I go on with my life.  My lack of fiber could be to blame, but it's come to a point where I really really hurts to shat.  Like, dude, something is wrong.  Maybe it was how I was sitting instead of squatting.



I've put it off, but thankfully my coworker has his checked without any shame sending a mass email to everyone.

"I'll be out of office today for a Colonoscopy.  Let me know of any projects beforehand."  This email elicited some hilarious feedback such as:

"Can't you just take this during your lunch?"

With that, I sat down with him, asked him about his experience and went to his recommended doctor.  Lucky for me I was able to get in appointments by stating the emergency: Rectal Bleeding.  Apparently you can get to see the doctor the next day if you're having a period through your butt.  And the next weekend, I'm scheduled to have a camera go up my butt.

"What if I have booty hole cancer?" I asked Jimmy.
 He responded, "you don't have cancer.  One of the main symptoms is weight loss... you DEFINITELY don't have that."  #rude.  His response made me feel fat... but better about the situation.  Especially since WebMD was telling me that I had 6 months to live.

It all has been a joke at 321 - Jimmy taking pictures of me drinking laxatives.  Telling me, "don't worry baby, I'll turn the music on really loud so we don't hear you."  Yeah. Hilarious.

Everyone having a good time


==

Another coworker pulled me to the side and asked me, "could you tell me why you're going to the doctor... if you don't mind?  I'm curious."  In a whisper tone in her cube, I told her what was up and she was thankful because she was experiencing the same things.  Her biggest question, "so what made you decide to go to the doctor?  At what point did you say that this needed to be checked."

And to be honest, it was because of the first coworker who spoke so candidly about it made me feel like this needed to get done so that I know that everything is okay with my body.  That I wasn't the only one with a hemmy problem that needed to be checked out.

==

I guess that's the problem with feeling "alone" so to speak.  It prevents you from taking the necessary steps to resolving it with your body, your mind, your spirit.. whatever.  But the fact is.. there are billions of people in the world and you're not the only one a "problem."  This can be applied to anything I guess.

In a couple of hours, I will have this checked off my to-do list and I can concentrate on other life things with out struggling with this one hurdle which is costing me $450 btw.  Thank you insurance (ugh).  That's how much my flight to Asia was (with years of rewards points.)

I'll tell you how it goes. ... and after this, I have to figure out how to file my own taxes.  #firstworldproblems

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Sleep In.

I spent the morning blogging in bed next to Jimmy.  Thinking if he'll get weirded out about my grindr post.

It's 11AM and I've been up since 8AM, dying to be productive, but unable to wake him up because he needs the sleep.

During the weekdays he wakes up at 4AM.  While he gets ready I murmur, "have a nice day."  When he overslept the other day, I called his work to make sure he made it in okay.  He thoroughly appreciated it.

"Thanks for checking up on me baby," he responded.  I worry about his rush in the morning on the freeway; if some asshole hits him while Jimmy tries to make it to work on time.  "I hate bad drivers, they are inconsiderate because they are putting my life in danger," he declares.  I cringe because I'm a bad driver.

Despite waking at 4AM, Jimmy tries to keep up with us 9 to 5ers.  Or rather 8:30 to 7 for me.  So he stays out with us until midnight getting only 3 hours of sleep a night and shooting 4 shots of espresso just so that he can make it through the day.  He's been complaining about heart burn and his heart beating irregularly.

The other weekend on the freeway Jimmy blurts, "can we find urgent care? I can't breathe."  I toss my iPhone to the backseat and ask a non-smart phone user to find something close by because I was driving.  "My heart is beating so fast... I can't breathe." Jimmy started to panic.  I ask my friends to call 911, but knew that mobile - 911 is delayed because they have to track where you are.

"OMG."  I remember uttering those words in a shaky voice.  I exit the freeway and park at a fast food joint.  "Can I recline my seat?"  Jimmy's hand is cold and he is moving around uncomfortably.  I ask if his left arm was numb and he declares that he was having a heart attack.

I storm in the restaurant while the back seat passengers where silenced by the emergency.  I slam my hand on the counter and slap it 10 times as if it were a buzzer.  "MY FRIEND IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK.  CALL 911."  The cashier picks up the phone, the patron is shocked, but then is served by someone else.  My friend walks in and I point to him go back to the car and check on Jimmy.

I come back after the call had been made.  Jimmy is shivering.  I grab my ski jacket in the trunk to cover him.  His face is distressed.  I hold his hand.  "I cant afford this baby," he states.

"Don't worry about it Jimmy.  Please.  I have money, I can take care of you."  I tear up a little.  I look up what to do on my iPhone - "call 911."  Okay... done.  I direct my other friends who were in another car to where we were using Yelp.  My friends in the backseat were basically useless.  It felt like the gears in my head were turning quickly while my friends' had mental constipation.  But not everyone had lifeguard training.

(CPR to the Rhythm of the Bee Gees, "HA HA HA HA STAY ING A LIVE STAY ING A LIVE HA HA HA HA STAY ING A LIVE."  Or alternatively, Another one bites the Dust.  But that's my least favorite.)

A fire truck and ambulance comes in 10 minutes.  Sirens can be heard from where we were.  Firemen come to Jimmy - "how old are you."

Jimmy states, "25."  They smile, walk to ambulance, mutter something and drive off.  Jimmy is walked into the ambulance so that they can check his vitals.

==

Jimmy had an anxiety attack.  Since he wasn't admitted into the hospital there was no charge.  His fear that he was having a heart attack caused his body to think that it was.  Though he is taking medication to regulate his heart rate.

In the evening Jimmy told me that he was stressed.  Stressed about a lot of things.  About expectations  and about keeping up with our friends which compromised his sleep patterned.  He was stressed about me being upset because I get angry that he sleeps in so much, that he naps all the time because I think it's a waste of time, but Jimmy needs to sleep in.  His body needs to recover.

So it's 11:23AM and I'm still in bed next to him kissing him on the cheek and telling him that I think he's so handsome (which I've been doing since 8AM).  After posting this, I'm going to cook him eggs and sausage and just set it by the nightstand so that he can eat when his body is ready instead of forcing him to wake up with me like I usually do.

I worry about him being okay... and just want him to enjoy his mornings his way.


Grindr Friendship

My grindr profile reads:

Looking to explore hidden LA.
For easy going friends.  Echo Park resident.

And I mean it!

Gay Coworker: Does your bf know you're on grindr?
Me: Yes, he's on it too
Gay Coworker: Why?
Me: Dunno to see who's gay around me.  Plus it's all for friends anyway
Gay Coworker: But it's really not

Gay Coworker has a point.  (BTW, I'm discovering my company likes hiring gays.)  Most people aren't on grindr JUST for friends, there's always some sort of sexual interest.  Whether you act on it or not depends on how loyal you are to your boyfriend.  I rationalized, "it's like interactive porn."  But like porn - just look, don't touch and of course watch it together if you want.

But then read this profile above "Not here to hook-up."  Then... why are you showing off your greek god abs?  I should submit this to Douchebags of Grindr. I really don't get why there so much contradiction in the gay community.  I guess we are just unable to admit the reality of our own true motives.  And it's more appealing when the dude isn't such a blatant hoe. "Just looking for friends huh...?  That's hot."

Even if you're really just looking for friends.  It's usually attractive friends so you (the inclusive you) block the uglies.  Why does it matter?

The contradiction!!!!  *DEAD*  Our "Community" #ashamed


The other day, someone on Grindr texts me:  IM JUST LOOKING FOR FRIENDS TOO!  Without looking at his pic, I give him my screenname and we chat a little bit at work where I find out the following:

  • He works in the same industry
  • He recently had a chat with my VP
  • He's going to the LGBT Film Festival
  • He walks his dog

And he logs off.  Perfect.  Another candidate to shirk my already small gaysian world.  I think if I were in a straight relationship, this would not fly, but I think that we're gay, we're social, we're always trying to build a family because we've felt so outcasted growing up.  And any medium that offers that is utilized - (or maybe that's just me being an extrovert).  I've made friends through youtube, downelink, Grindr and met Jimmy by finding his Tumblr.  So there, I made a potential friend, but forgot his name and was too busy stressing about life to really indulge in any conversation.

So can you chat platonically on Grindr?  Yes.

...does that mean I will I meet up with this randO?  Not unless he knows something about LA that I don't... and that's my motive (#user).  And I'm bringing Jimmy because we've come to a point in our relationship where we replaced the pronoun I with WE.  (or maybe that's a bad idea). Maybe I'll invite him to a 321 party and see him stir the pot.  I love bringing new faces to my circle and watching my single friends jump on them like starving vultures.

Grindr is useful.  I encourage all gay friends to just be on it... like the Mutant Registration Act.

===

Found an interesting gaysian, Justin Huang who writes for huffington post: http://www.iamyellowperil.com/

Channel Islands


Not sure why it took me so long to blog about this, but in August 2011 Jimmy and I took a mini vacation to check out the Channel Islands.  It was meant to be a 6 month celebration, but it was difficult to pick the perfect weekend.

I don't remember if it was intentional, but we dressed alike for the day.  The one hour boat ride was thrilling because of all the bouncing.  We went through Island Packers.  We ran around the boat like little kids and tried to reenact the iconic Titanic scene at the bow of the boat.



Upon arrival we discovered that this National Park was full of trails and nature.   There were these AZN kids with speakers blasting terrible dance music from their portable speakers.  Jimmy and I hauled ass to get away from them.  Stop ruining nature!


See my candid duck face and Jimmy showing off a little bootay.



There were great views off the cliff where the ocean met land.


There were a lot of photo opportunities, but we were hikers that day, not models.


I surprised Jimmy with a cupcake during our lunch picnic.  That shit hard to hide.

Muah muah muah. JIMMYYYYYYY

This year Jimmy wants to hit the Channel Islands again, but bring some friends along for a day trip.  We only went to Santa Cruz Island so there's more to explore.  Come join us!

Monday, March 19, 2012

January Recap


Let's be honest. I just eat. January's highlight is this Bi Bim Bap dish that Jimmy whipped up at home. He made the sauce from scratch and grilled the pork. One of the best meals I've had. Especially since he adds that one special ingredient that you can't get from any restaurant.


Other meals worth noting:

  • Exorbitant Cheese plate and wine pairing from Providence
  • DineLA at Spice Table in Litte Tokyo - Finally got to try Laksa which was delicious!  (Thought about celebrating national noodle month, but then realized that I always celebrate noodles.)  The Lamb skewers were my favorite.
  • Ethiopian dinner from Meals by Genet - going clubbing after was a terrible idea since the sponge bread made us al bloated. We all looked like we wanted to die.
  • Enjoyed my afternoon Tea set at Chado Tea Room
  • Had the WORST brunch ever at Canele (not everything written in LA Weekly is credible... my rant is on Yelp) 
  • Enjoyed a Taiwanese brunch at Huge Tree Pastry and a late night snack at The Prince

I eat so good, it hurts so bad.


We checked out the Culver City Art Walk which is much better than the Downtown LA Art Walk.  People in Culver City seemed to appreciate the art more rather than just wandering around because it's cool like they do in downtown.  Also, folks looked like they were from New York wearing tons of black and layering while they criticized objects that don't affect their lives.

We also checked out the Digital Darkroom exhibit at The Annenberg which I thought was very interesting.  "Digital Darkroom features the work of 17 artists from around the world that explore the intersection of art and technology."  Lots of photoshop.


...and in between was lots of chilling in my Russian hat and girdle.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Ignia Leap Year in LA



Sandy, her boyfriend and Aaron decided to visit me at the same time!  Both parties had cars.  Perfect - here are our spare keys and you're on your way.  What a way to vacation in LA: rent a convertible.






Angelina Jolie's leg also came to visit us.
I'm showing off my Giraffe Socks!  Thanks Sandy!

We ate:




We viewed some art:
Sliding around the Getty Villa

Made Art at the MOCA
Found a hidden village in the Fashion District. 
Reenacted school life @RoyalT
It was really bright.  Jimmy so handsome


A week later Sandy mailed us a thank you goody bag!  Her favorite coffee, jam, tea, oatmeal and bread.  So sweet.


Tuesday, March 6, 2012

December Recap

This is what I ate:



This is what I made:

This is where I went:


Saw Brandon Boyd at the Rose Bowl Flea market.. didn't know who he was so I went up to him and asked to take a picture  for my friends who were bashful teanie boppers.  Yallz owe me one.

Winter Wonderland


3 months behind. But Merry Christmas everyone!  It's become a tradition to have these makeshift photobooths at 321 parties, but the results are hilarious.  I told Jimmy that my "budget" to buy props for the booth was no more than a dollar per item.  Apparently that's not a real budget because I probably purchased 20 random objects for this thing.





What added to the diaster was fake snow and shipping peanuts.  The room was a diaster after the evening, but we got some good American Beauty shots.



Tradition has it to play white elephant.  TWO rounds, but while I was a bit too drunk really to facilitate.     But it was 2 hours of hilarity.

Everyone except Ed...per usual


321 Family Grows

The thing about 321 is that it fosters conversation... even between rooms and hallways.


Jingle Juice got everyone all loose and in the spirit.

:D