Wednesday, December 5, 2012

"If You’re Not Single, You Shouldn’t Act Single"

I caved and bought the Nexus 7 tablet.  I feel ridiculous having so many pieces of technology, but each one really does serve a specific function with substantial overlap. Was that a contradiction?  I lucked out when an Office Depot manager sold me the 32 Gig for the price of a 16 Gig.  He matched the price for some generous reason, but I stepped out of the store feeling as though I had shoplifted.  The $50 savings validated the purchase even further.

While traveling for work, I discovered the wonders of reading blogs offline on my new toy using a tablet case I found at the Dollar Store.  The savings just don't stop.  Through Google Currents my favorite blogs are downloaded for consumption without connection.  Recommended to me was Thought Catalog which I've enjoyed on my entire plane ride/wait at the airport.  The entries are short and clever and perfect for my attention span.

I found a very interesting entry that was very thought provoking by Christopher Hudspeth about folks who act single when they aren't.  ARTICLE HERE.

"In a technologically savvy generation, we regularly see shitty boyfriends and girlfriends do disrespectful things with phones and computers..."
Though not limited to technology, but going out as well.

A month ago I deleted Grindr and Jack'd - very popular gaydar apps that locate horny/curious men around my lat/long.  My profile read, "Committed - looking for friends."  It was a boredom app and though I never met up with anyone I did make friends with this random Korean guy who was interesting to me since he knew secret spots in K-town.  I've since forgot his name.

...but this is problematic.  I have friends and most importantly I have a boyfriend.  Why am I on this app?  Why are so many gay people in relationships still using this app?  I believe it's due to a curiosity, a gay-riousity that stems from our childhood when we saw our first penis.  It's interesting to see gay people in close proximity; who else is a part of our exclusive deviant sexually driven club living a double secret life?  There's a social-ness and curiosity part of being gay that keeps us logged in.

I think that making friends is easy when you're gay.  Like black people who gravitate toward each other at work - in addition to the secret language and common life experience, minorities cling to each other to forge against the mass.  Gays in particular stick together and become "best friends" in the shortest period of time through apps and mutuals because potential friends are also potential hookups are also potential boyfriends.... and potential resources.  For me, though gay friends come and go, new gay friends mean - shared knowledge of hidden parts of the city, connections to low key events and my favorite, watching them stir the pot when my friends see fresh meat.

Though that sounds innocent (in my head and as my own personal justification), there's still a problem.  The guys I'm looking at are also the ones I find attractive. There's still an element of intrigue; I'm still checking people out no matter how platonic my intensions may seem.  And that's the irony that Condescending Wonka points out.

I'm not single, I shouldn't act single and though it has always been a hobby of mine to make gay friends, connect gay friends, normalize gayasianess I've decided that I should work on being a better boyfriend instead of making friends through apps that are clearly not meant for "making friends."

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