Saturday, July 31, 2010
There are 6 boys in my bed and the slats gave way and my mattress fell to the ground resulting a large gay shriek followed by laughter from everyone. I built it myself from IKEA.
Last night our huge group found ourselves at PopStarz at the factory. There was a 90's music dance floor that dedicated itself to a little Genie in a bottle, Bye bye bye, Vengabus, I Feel like a Women, and the macarena, which I shamelessly engaged in. It felt like I was karaoke night clubbing (AMAZING).
Not too drunk, I found myself flirtatious- "accidentally" exposing these exhibitionist photos I had recently taken. I kissed a friend, a boy I dated in the past, a boy that I was sort of dating (kinda) and a hot Indian boy from Berkeley who I always run into. "I have to go, but let's kiss," he stated. I leaned forward for a taste- the curry was spicy, I was offered seconds and then he disappeared. I wish I knew he was gay in college, would have had fun with that... I love Bollywood.
I'm rethinking my no make out at the club policy which I broke recently. But what about these cute friendly kisses? Flirtatious, quick, delicious, not regretful kisses to go around. I logged these kisses in my moleskine black book and thought- this is free love. This is fun, this feels great and to be tied down, to have to deal with jealousy and emotions would be an added stress that I don't want to carry (right now).
Free love - I'm attracted to you. Let's enjoy the night. Let's touch and experience new sensations. Experiment with my unfamiliar body. Excite. - This idea is 180 from my previous emo entries about drifting and desiring some sort of connection. I do desire love and I realize as of last night that it doesn't need to come from just one person. So I take it back Jimmy, I don't want a boyfriend I want to engage in offering my body, my energy, my spirit to folks who find me valuable and make connections beyond friendship but before partnership.
Today is the last day of Jubilant July and this epiphany completes my journey in discovering what currently makes me happy.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
This morning I got out of bed at 6:40 and got my lazy ass to the neighborhood pool and did a complete work out:
- 500 Warmup
- 300 Kick (Free, Breast, Fly)
- 100 Breast
- 50 Free sprint
- 200 buoy (Breast arms, free arms)
- 100 warm down
And now I'm here with 30 minutes to get ready for work.
What I'm grateful for is a highly metabolizing body (which is quickly crashing), but the minute I jump into a pool, "muscle memory" kicks in and all of a sudden my tummy sucks in and my shoulders broaden as if someone pressed a button.
I also renewed my 24 hour fitness membership. Because I've completed my 3 year contract, my membership is $50 a year moving forward. HOLLA! (I really don't understand folks who pay 60+ a month for a gym. I consider your decision wasteful and idiotic.. "Oh the machines are nice, the lockerroom is clean, the people are hot" STFU it's A FUCKING GYM you plastic you moron!! arg). So I best follow Sam to the gym when he invites me. I want bigger titties, so hello benches.
Sorry if I burned your eyes with that photo. Just wanted to see progress... and be more of an exhibitionist. =X No underarm bush this time, but just aggressive white legs.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
There's always a fear that your personal "love photos" would leak onto the web. Because of that fear... I personally have not engaged in the art of self nude naughty photography... since hs... *cough*
In fact, my friend just reached out to me about contacting a blogger who posted a personal picture of him and his boo-cakes on their site. OOPS. That's why you don't include your face!
I own some materials of my exhibitionist friends. I know they are exhibitionists when I don't have do a rain dance to get them to send me a little something something. But of course the more exciting ones are the ones you have to pry open a gold safe to get.
I had a chat with a friend about his pics and he sent me some which was no big deal since I've already seen it all... but it got me sort of curious... what does it feel like to be an exhibitionist? Maybe I should just lay it all out there for the world to see like TiggahTigz. And really, it's normal to do, ask Vanessa Hudgens about her sexting. (We'll those were accidental, but I'm sure she got excited to have to apologize to the Disney community.)
This morning I decided to do a little experimentation after a shower. I positioned myself on my beanbag next to a mirror and took a snapshot that I was pretty impressed with. Pecs look good, legs look long, tan is even, face is partially covered. Eyes say, "come hither." With that, I sent it to the same friend for approval. And now.... strangely, I'm eager to send it to more people. WtF?
Maybe because it's not that naughty.. i'd consider it a funny photo. Or is it the excitement of
knowing assuming that someone maybe getting off by your image? I guess these naughty photos are sort of a confidence booster. It makes sense... it feels great knowing that folks find your photo interesting *slash* arousing enough to circulate. You are a star.
- Take a dive bar with a huge parking lot.
- Cover the lot with turf.
- Put in an above ground pool.
- Install a giant water slide.
- Give out waterguns
- Get Vitamin water to give out free Vitamin Water
- Get a food truck to give out free tacos
- Get two guys with their asses hanging out to serve jello shots
- Have free alcohol from noon -1PM
- Hire an amazing DJ
- Have Grindr advertise
- Have Mr.Black advertise
- Donate the proceeds to some non-profit with the letters LGBT in it...
Down the street was the American Apparel factory store. We felt like we were at a rooftop party in New York. But that's the thing about LA, you can be anywhere.. and still be in LA. I guess that's why a lot of movies are shot here.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Earlier in the day I was struggling to find something 1920s to wear, but I had everything I needed: suspenders, baggy stripped slacks and a dress shirt. I didn't have a handkerchief so I disguised a clean black sock by folding it into a triangle and stuffing it in my pocket- perfect! The girls had to be more creative, but they turned out looking very good.
I love these things. I would never turn down something so interesting.
Photo editing c/o ChungkingExpressions.
We started the evening at my coworker's beautiful downtown loft and 5 shots of tequila. As a group of four, we finished an entire bottle. Yes, we were out to step into time with the help of this club and mr.alcohol.
I opened the gate, dropped my shit and greeted my roommates who had just came back from a concert/after party. "I can see your crack," declared Ern.. then I rushed to the bathroom to vomit out the 1920s.
Jimmy came up to me and said, "why does it say 'Not Tonight' in sharpie on your chest?" I started laughing, took off my boxers and fell asleep in the nude. Feels good to be Messy.
They didn't have any specials, but the bartender rewarded our spirit with pure alcohol and a splash of what ever mixer. Some folks complimented us, another person asked if we were a troop. I replied, "we are just having fun."
Monday, July 26, 2010
letopho: i enjoy our purely sexual relationship
casual f-buddy: how can you not? I mean, really, it's me
letopho: yup, sexuality is all that's of interest
casual f-buddy: well, i hope that at least my mind is interesting... ><
The casual f-buddy doesn't come around too often, but I'm beginning to appreciate how bluntly sexual our relationship is even if it didn't initially start that way. On AIM he says shit like, "when are you coming over." or "I'm in town." And that's it. We don't hang out other than to sleep with each other, which I find quite efficient.
It's so one dimensional, it's so easy. It's based purely on physical pleasure.
Heart - Off
Body - Turned on to Max
Hmm.. I think I've stumbled upon something. How does connect/disconnect among "the logical mind, the passionate heart" and the animalistic body relate to different types or relationships and transitioning relationships?
Committed "Perfect" Relationship
Brain - On (Made for each other)
Body - On (Wow.. MARRY THIS FUCKER!)
Brain - Off (You're an idiot. You're going to regret this. Dont do it... too bad you're not listening)
Heart - On (It's gonna hurt...)
Body - On
Love Above Sex, Comfortable, Complacent (Positive)
Brain - On
Heart - On (Love that surpasses physical desires)
Body - Off
Sexless Love, Comfortable, Complacent (Negative)
Brain - On
Heart - On
Body - Off (sex in need of spice... in need of a third.....a costume...SOMETHING! QUICK!)
Robotic ... "seeing where things go," the early dating stage
Brain - On (Hmmm, they're interesting.. this can go somewhere)
Heart - Off (I think I like them, sort of.. maybe..sometimes?)
Body - On (Heh, cute smile.. good body, sure why not?)
Gold Digger/For Another Reason Besides Love
Brain - On (This is for my future, this will please my parents, I'm getting too old, this is the smart thing to do)
Heart - Off (If they died, I would be happier)
Body - Off (but you can fake it)
Do you agree? I think it's interesting when switches turn on and off within relationships. Makes sense, once the heart flicks on, folks get serious or in trouble or when the body switch flicks off- folks become comfortable or bored... and when the brain flicks off from dating, it becomes just a potential hook up...etc etc Another question is, how does a switch get flicked? and what would it mean if we had complete control?!? *rubs hands together demonically*
As for my f-buddy the switches are thankfully constant as if someone duct taped them down... so no, I don't find your mind interesting. See you Thursday night?
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Without being preoccupied, I find myself thinking, feeling and wandering places where I should not venture. I've been dreaming, inceptioning and longing- talking to imaginary figures and projections of what I think it means to love and be loved.
Projections that have affected my reality and have caused me to desire something that I've made up in my mind. You're right Jimmy, I would like a boyfriend. I would like to be in love, but only because my mind and heart have began to wander as the excitement of being in LA, breathing LA, loving LA has slowed down.
Work has been without events and my coworkers have been leaving the company one after the other. Cubicles are cleaned out and new folks who I don't jive with have to get retrained. Today, was the last day for one of my team members and as he hugged me good bye I couldn't help but tear up. Sweetest guy you'll ever meet. Ridiculously selfless and very thoughtful. Blah.
Thursday was an industry event on a large boat that went in circles in the harbor. I got free drinks using.. charm... or.. harassment, which ever and had a nice buzzed time with workmates and industry people. My supervisor in a drunken stupor came up to me and said, "CHRIS! I FOUND YOU A BOY!! He's REALLLLY FLAMEY!! IS THAT YOUR TYPE?!"
Thanks. I needed this event. Work events distract me from these ridiculous emotions and desires.
peony that defines me.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Was going to go to Weho, but thankfully there's a 1920's Themed Jazz Rum Bar opening tonight: dressing up is encouraged. I folded a clean black sock for a handkerchief. I'm lending out my feather boa! This should be fun
Wish I had a monocle.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Yay! Roommate Sweaty Sunday's outing! This time we took the "Slow Jams" class which turned out to be a bit more lyrical.
I didn't ask Ern to record me because I sucked ballz, but next time, yes! I usually get the first and last parts of the choreo; the center is all a blur and I concentrate on stepping on others' toes and humping the air.
I cleaned up my layout. Please check out the other "pages" on the top tabs! Woot.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Please enjoy this predictable beach video to a predictable soundtrack.
I love riding in a Jeep. Especially on the highway, but remember your sunglasses as bugs and shards of LA glass frequently fly into your face. Watch my hair animate in the wind at 00:47. It has a mind of its own apparently.
Tired.... went out dancing for a little... and one last cake for Ern. Happy Birthday again!!! :D