Wednesday, December 9, 2009

It's Gloomy In NYC

The only thing left on my list is Momofuku, Uniqlo, and possibly a Broadway show.

Haven't seen the Statue of Liberty or gone to Time Square yet. I figure I can come back and experience those later. I don't need to do everything on this trip. The idea is to visit friends and to see how they live on the east coast.

I'm staying with Carl and he's doing work stuff, my other friends are in finals so I'm comfortably surfing the web until folks are free.

I've been catching up with some random folks from my life and my text message inbox has exploded. To alleviate, I'm going to empty out my favorite Texts from Last Night that I have been saving and post them here.

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Texts from Last Night

i tried to hook up with a mom and her husband came with num chucks.

just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??

There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronounced "Luh Dash uh." I hate everyone.

Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.

I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore.

I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate...

it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.

His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum

Care to explain to me why there's a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why it's labeled as unicorn sweat?

You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs."

and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

6 comments:

dannie said...

LMAO at your texts

Alex C. said...

I needed a good laugh. Happy travels!

~A

ChungkingExpressions said...

HAHAHA you have some hilarious friends

Will said...

Haha nice- you've already done Ippudo and Shake Shack (even in this weather!) so you've done what I take most out of towners too.

If you go to Momofuku, don't get the noodles. They're not nearly as good as Ippudo. Their other menu items are good though. And the soft serve is always awesome, even in the winter.

Will said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
thwany said...

even gloomy after hanging out with me?