Wednesday, May 20, 2009

.... God you're so cute.

I sat next to the cute boy in class today.
I flirted with him a lot, caught his name... asked him questions.

I observed his fingers... his hand writing.
I asked about his job, his career goals.

It was obvious that I was interested in him. I'm pretty sure he wasn't interested in me. How do I know? Aside from a couple of smiles, our conversation showed that he was more into answering questions about himself than asking something about me... a clear, yet subtle indication of disinterest.

I pointed to the shooting star he drew on his notes. "I like to doodle." He shrugged.
God he's so cute.

I finally asked his name.
"Chris..." we shook hands firmly. "Good luck on the test next week."
"heh.. yeah..." He smiled that adorable smile and I stumbled out of class.

And I repeated his name as I drove home.

Next week, I'll talk to him again, but I don't want to make moves. I already showed interested. I batted my eyes, played with my hair, twitched as if I was standing in front of someone I wanted to ask to prom.

If nothing is said, I'm going to wait for the last day of class... I have it planned.
"Um... Hey, I was wondering if you'd be interested in going on a date... or something."
"...heh... why do you think I like guys?"
"I don't... I'm just interested... and I hope you're interested back..."

And.. because it's the last day we both have an exit from such an awkward situation.


I've reaffirmed that pictures mean a lot to me. I'm realizing what pictures I've lost and I find myself having sort of a mild anxiety attack. I think... the policy that I place: "if there are no pictures, it didn't happen" I take too literally.

I fear that because I lose pictures, I lose memories. I feel like I am too sentimental and it has kept me from moving forward...

My hard drive is fucked, these back up DVD's are unreadable and it would take me days to upload what I have left on an overpriced photohosting site.

...this is my weakness.
Take my dog, but spare my photographs.

OMG and now this:

1 comment:

dannie said...

his name is craig!??? if he's who i think it