Sunday, December 14, 2008

A Game

My friend asked me for dating advice. I KNOW, RIGHT?! Irony ALL over the table!

And I went on about "the Game."
After you get that number at Dragon... and after you text message, add their facebook and look at all their ugly tagged pictures, chat on AIM.. you have... a meal together.

A Date usually includes a meal. Why? Because that's when you get to know the person outside of instant messages: "what did you do last night." You actually learn about their ambitions, their favorites, their pet peeves... and from what they are saying... you figure out if you are compatible/interested or not. <- An epiphany. (I "know" a fair number of people, but I dont "know them either.)

Lunch is safe... because it's still friendly

Dinner is serious... at least compared to Lunch, whatchu gonna do after, HMM!?

It IS a game. You have to read their body language, how much silence is there? are you awkward. Eye contact? Did that bitch pay for you??

"It's okay.. I got this." Means... they're interested
"I got this time, you can get next" means they're interested in seeing you again... AS FRIENDS!
YAY! New best friend, how cute. Or they believe in a 50/50 dating experience. Which is cool until people start "counting." You know what I'm talkin' about.

Not interested? Then drop those hints. "Aww, youre a good friend." Okay, i guess thats like a ton of bricks. But INSISTING that you split the bill.. yeah, that's pretty good. Also look like you have something else to do. ... or look constipated, that'd work too.

...and if the boy asks you to come over. DO it...

And if the boy slips in a DVD to watch in his bedroom... then yeah, HE wants to fuck.

...please MAKE OUT... that's good.

BUT DONT HAVE SEX! OMG! Hold OFF! I know it's hard you horny HOMO's but it's worth it to make the boy squirm. (Okay, this must be the sadistic tease in me coming out)

In MY opinion, sex on the first date is bad bad bad. Why? Because, you're obviously just interested in their body and IF a relationship DOES come out of it.. then it's based on physical pleasure and LIES!

Hahaha. I guess, I'm a prude. But... don't put out on a first date.

Hmmm. I'm going to test this theory and ask Mr.GoodDancer out to Lunch. I'll tell you how it goes.


And what about Mr.HighEnergyMusic? I actually talked to him last night for a long time about dating in general. I'm still interested... but "GOOD FRIEND" hints keep popping up in our convos... or rather "GOOD FRIEND" brick walls keep appearing when that's what he keeps calling me. Blah to that.

I know, I'm full of BS.


dannie said...

goodluck remember to tell us all about it!

Bryan said...

*head explodes*

Stanza said...

fo real son