Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Thinking Outloud

Looking Good Looking Good

Everyday I use the elevator to get to the 16th floor of my building in downtown Saigon. And everyday I feel sexy. Why?

Because I am tall compared to the 5'2 girls and 5'5 boys.... I am a proud 5'6 American bitches! Because I'm wearing a flashy dress shirt and sexy dress shoes. I am 23 and I look like a foreign hotshot. And even though I have to wear a helmet, my hair maintains its shape thanks to American hair products... or European? Western products!!! (Made in China... WESTERN PRODUCTS!)

==
I'M VIETNAMESE!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!

I noticed that Vietnamese people like to yell. A lot. It hurts my ears. They yell at waiters, they yell at children, they yell at each other. I think it's because the city is so noisy. They grew up in a noisy environment and yelling was the only way they can hear each other.

"MISS! BRING ME A PHO!"
"I GONNA BEAT YOU UPSIDE THE HEAD YOU UNAPPRECIATIVE CHILD OF MINE!!"
"CHECK!!!!!!!!!!"
"TAKE ME TO NGUYEN HUE STREET TAXI DRIVER!"

So loud. Vietnamese people are loud. And they are my alarm clock.

I am awaken every morning by noise at 5am. The streets already begin to fill up outside my family's house. And it doesn't help that we sell coffee in the morning. But I manage to zone everything out before I wake up officially at 7am.

==
Hot Shower

My Aunt said to me, "Oh, if you want to shower with warm water let me know!" I was thrilled. These pass weeks I have been taking cold showers because I thought there was no water heating system. I mean, cold showers are great during the day, but at night and in the morning, no thanks.

Yesterday she offered again. I thought she just had to go downstairs to turn a knob. But this is what she said, "yeah! take that thermos with you, it should have hot water in it... it'll feel good." You're shitting me.

So.. a hot shower means I have to carry a bucket of boiled water from the stove into the shower upstairs making a huge mess and then use a cup to pour it on my body. "Umm... nooo it's okay Auntie, it's too much trouble!"

"What do you mean trouble! It's easy!" I insisted.... seriously, it's not worth it and it became a luxury that I'm realizing.

After my shower I saw her fiddling with the water heater thing. "Aww... it's broken." That's like the theme of this ... shit, my priviledge side was emerging. I nodded, "don't worry about it!"

==
Learning about Myself

Today, I said hi to the receptionist.
"Did you go swimming this morning?" I found out that she swims yesterday at lunch.
"I go swimming after work!"
"So you have to bring your suit."
"That's right, do you want to come with?"
"YES! Oh god yes!"
"Okay, tomorrow!"
"OH MY GOD YES!"

This pass year I have closed myself off from a lot of people. I stood proud when I list out my close friends and have no intention of making more, but I am learning that I am approaching it all wrong.

This pass year, I said to myself, "I have 600 something facebook friends... why? would I invite them all to my birthday? No. There are only a hand full of people that I care about so why should I go out of my way to make new friends that I probably won't be close to.. it's better to just concentrate on close friends..."

I'm a fool.

I am realizing that that's a horrible way to approach life. And it's affected me greatly. I can tell that I come off as unapproachable... because I am, but you know what... we can always use new friends to do different things with. It makes life more varied. It makes life more fulfilled when you can say you're going out with different people and experiencing different things.

It's good to be friendly, to extend a hello... to make something from nothing. So suck it up and just approach someone and offer some of you while they offer something back.

Give and take... yadda yadda. That's what I used to be like... In key club, in NSU. "HI my name is Christopher... I don't know you, but I could... I act like I care because.. I do. And even though we're not close you still deserve a hello." Take a flyer... community service. Take a flyer... watch a culture show... Take a flyer... save a life... these are the things I care about and you will be inspired by me because I want to share a part of me... with YOU.

That's who I used to be. Outgoing...caring... uninhibited... and bubbly.

And in Vietnam, I have to be like that otherwise I would accomplish nothing. I have to make something from nothing. I have to meet strangers and hope they don't rob me and discover new places and ideas.

That's who I was... that's what I lost.... wow.

1 comment:

Tofu said...

omg it's the total opposite for me here... people still think i'm short and make fun of my height all the time hahahahah >.<

BUT WHY ARE SO MANY JAs SHORT IN AMERICA?! lol