Wednesday, July 30, 2008

No Escape

Sunday night I went camping with some random folks.
To my surprise there was this young straight couple who was engaged.

I'm going to be an asshole and say that I really hated him. Like, a lot. Like, I hated everything about him. His negative attitude, his pricky remarks, his boring demeanor. Everything. He successfully rained on my parade. And I thought to myself, wow, you must really love this guy to be engaged to him. But of course, if there is something special, I shouldn't judge so harshly.

But, he sucked so much man. A lot of passive aggression between the couple that really killed the mood for me.

I guess what really made me butt hurt is that he hated on a couple of my games. Fucker. He was pretty much useless. It seemed like his only possible purpose on the trip was to be pessimistic and to have a close minded attitude. He was like a tree stump. But a tree stump is more useful because you can sit on it. He obviously wanted to be somewhere else.


For some CRAZY reason, instead of drinking games (because they were apparently too complicated for the guy and the couple preferred wine), we played Monopoly. I got a couple of drinks in and crashed early.

I'm a positive guy. But man, this guy was such a debbie downer, I felt like he brought the overcast.
I love camping at Santa Cruz, I love spending time with My Hoa (Miwa's Vietnamese Name). She took care of everything: the supplies the reservations, the food. She cooked a mean curry for us to eat! And she got wasted, even though no one else did. We were trying to relive the fun we had with Vanessa, Nick, Nelson, Lisa, Rin, Mikawa, Chris... but it was difficult. I remember last year when the guys said, let's play Beer Pong. I JUMPED at the opportunity. I hate beer, but I participated- positive energy. It's called being a good sport. And it was probably the best game of beer pong that I played.

I think my favorite part of this year's trip (besides the food) was when we were playing on the beach and the couple appropriately fell asleep for 2 hours so I didn't have to hear them bicker to throw dry sarcasm at each other. We played with my Lycra and buried each other. LOL. Loved it.

I talked to the other gay guy there about his Ex. His ex is pretty cute and always at Dragon (at least when I'm there.) I bluntly asked, "so he must have dated a lot being so cute." My friend responded, "not at all, he's the type of guy that waits 6 months before he even let's a guy kiss him... " His ex suddenly became more attractive.

My gay friend told me he didn't believe in marriage. He feels that he has become numb. And sometimes he wishes he had the feeling of "waiting by the phone" for someone. But that hasn't happened to him in a long time.

Maybe that's what happens to a lot of people. They just become numb. And the pursuit of love is just a complicated game that no one really wants to play anymore. And you settle for what's good enough in fear of not having anyone at all.

For gay people in particular. Possibly, gay guys are in search of perfection. Their ideal man... and sometimes, they keep searching and never realize that perfection doesn't exist.

So why do we put ourselves through so much stress? Is finding perfection (or something close it).... really worth it? I don't want to find myself married to someone who really isn't good for me.... I'm not marrying a tree stump.

But I am getting married. And my wedding is jungle theme. Iron your loin cloth.

But for those who have loved, maybe this quote is appropriate:
"we`re toremented because love goes on not because it goes away"
[Siworae/Il Mare]
Only in a Korean drama

On a more sexual note, look what I found on craigslist

I've always wanted to suck a dick - 24 (san jose east)

Reply to:
Date: 2008-07-29, 9:55AM PDT

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dannie said...

i like this entry, very deep.
I'm glad you didn't let debbie ruin your fun.

when we're young we don't experience a lot. So i guess that's why people have this ideal image of their partner and how things should be. Through experience people realize perfection doesn't exist.

I think we put ourselves through this stress because it's always nice to have someone by your side, no matter how difficult it is, it's still a good thing to know someone cares for you in that certain way.

i like the korean quote, it seems very true.

fading.requiem said...

Hmmm...I wonder where you got the quotation from? Haha :P Funny story, my gays want to go camping, too, but I feel that some of them are too fabulous for it.