Sunday, June 1, 2008

Irony is the Opposite of Wrinkly

Friday was my Birthday.

I was in the OC for my cousin's graduation and we had an amazing breakfast. With 30 minutes to kill I bought some H&M clothes for my birthday celebration. (All of which MoAny, Szeto and Joe thought were ugly). Surprise. So I wore the shirt that JV bought for me from : Irony is the Opposite of Wrinkly. The boys approved of this one, I was set.

All day I received facebook wishes for my birthday forwarded to my phone. I total of almost 50 birthday wishes from all sorts of people from my life. It was nice, I felt loved.

At night my parents took me out to Todai's where I pigged out. They gave me a card that read, "we are so lucky to have you, you are a wonderful son, Happy Birthday." And I gave them both a warm hug... I am privileged to have them. I charmed the waitress into giving me a free Hot Tea, "but it's my birthday!" I pleaded, she obliged.

After dinner, I felt lonely. MoAny and JV went to a gay birthday party in the city which I decided not to go to because... well I didn't want to celebrate someone else's birthday on my birthday. And Szeto did May Dragon with his old roommate. I figured I would just save my party energy for Saturday.

At 1:00AM, I went to the gym to swim laps. I felt strong. No was there, and I proceeded to feel very alone.

Saturday night rolled around and about 15 people came to JUMP SKY High with me. I'll let the photos and video's tell that story. After, we hit up Downtown San Jose.

I was having a great time. I made some new friends and I was extra friendly with new people I just met. Walking in the street, I saw a cute guy and proceeded to flirt with him and the two girls he was with.

"Hi, my name is Chris, where are you coming from?"
"The library."
"Where are you guys going?" I put my arm around the guy.
"We don't know yet, where are you going?"
"Well.. we just want to dance.. there's Hunter's, but it's a bit gay."
"Heh, there's nothing wrong with that"

I smiled at his comment, but before I could remember his face we walked in different directions.

At Hunter's, the music was good, but no one was dancing. I talked to the bouncer. Apparently the club had been fined for passing max capacity. Plus there was a 5 dollar cover. We ended up back at Temple and gayed it up. My group of 11 homos made a loud scene and got a good amount of looks. Haha. Nice.

MoAny and I chatted with the hot girls of the night. Saying shit like, "if we were straight, we'd totally fuck you!" They were all amused and flattered.


I drove MoAny's car to Denny's. I thought I was okay to drive, but I wasn't and cop pulled me over for driving recklessly. I didn't feel drunk, but the breath analyzer determined otherwise and I was handcuffed. Ironically, this was the second time I have ever drove after having a couple of drinks. Ever. Ironically, I get really upset when I hear that my friends drive home drunk. Ironically, I won't drive you unless you have a seatbelt on.

As I sat in the backseat of the cop car. I sang happy birthday to myself... 'I am a wonderful son.'

I spent the night in Jail.

The cops that arrested me were nice, but I was sad they didn't let me off with a warning. I was very cooperative. I was hoping they would let me off easily, but I learned that that doesn't happen very often in San Jo. I guess, it's more difficult than getting free tea.

I shared a small cell with 20 guys. There were two benches that filled up. I found my spot under the bench and curled in a fetal position in the two feet tall space and sleep on the cold cement until my name was called at 9am. I was thankful that I slept easily despite that I was 5 inches away from someone's ass. The guys were silent, random Spanish and Vietnamese was thrown back and forth. Everyone was more annoyed than anything else. They were tattooed, wore blood-stained shirts and had red eyes. I contemplated asking them if they wanted to play a game.

I signed the documents and looked at the mug shot they took of me. It was candid, I didn't know they were taking a picture and my forced smiled was not captured. I examined it closely and saw authentic depression in my face. I was startled at how real my expression was, how much sadness I had in my eyes.

I have my court date. I have to find an attorney. I have to pay a fine that's in the thousands that will be determined after the court date. My license is suspended for at least 4 months. I thought about what happened, and I realized if I were to live it over again, I would have made the same mistake. I was CONFIDENT that I was okay to drive. I did not even second guess myself; so in that sense, I don't feel regretful. That maybe, I was meant to get pulled over.

Today, my parents picked me up from the police station. I showered, took a nap, then climbed the foothill behind my house to write. I realized that someone out there is trying to tell me something. That I have to do something with my life... and that the first two recent incidents weren't enough of a wake up call for me to take action.

1. Discovering that I can't trust anyone, even people who claim to love me.
2. Being laid off
3. Getting arrested

All within two months. Someone is telling me that... I am too privileged. That I need some suffering to ground me. That I need some sort of aspirations... and that I was meant to do great things, but haven't DONE any thing to prove it.

I like who I am. I don't like where I'm at. I think it's time to leave.


dannie said...

i'm glad you had fun at your birthday, sorry to hear you had to end it in jail. Hope you're okay though. if i was there..i wouldn't have allowed you to drive! if you must leave, then you must. :]

Stanza said...

aw you poor bastard.

Hope you stay resilient and bounce back from these troubled times.
DUI is so not cool though. You're just lucky the situation didn't end up with you or others getting hurt.

Keep ya head up, son !

Tofu said...

omg... who let you drive?!? :( :( :(

glad to hear you and the others in the car were safe though... be safe... in spite of the turn of events lately, keep your head high and be proactive as I know you always are...