Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Life's Kicking My Ass; I Retaliate

It was very difficult to wake up this morning.

Last night I focused on trying to get my life together. And it started with cleaning my room. I thought about Damien and MoAny and the VP sales who all believe that clutter holds us back. I examined my room and found that, clutter was what had become my definition.

I bought a container for my scrapbooking materials so I don't have scraps on the floor and stored it. I put stuffed animals in a shoe box because they never really served as decorating purposes, but rather as sentimental childish feelings that belong in a closet. I found magazines and put them in the bathroom because that's the only way they'll get read. I made a file for "body care" and filed images of cool hair, dermatologist appointments and better living documents under my desk.

(My skin is looking great, in my opinion now that I'm using black people skin products! Also, looking in the mirror a lot less helps too and washing my face before I put on my contacts. I have flawless skin with my nearly blind vision.)

I made my bed, cleared my desk and went to the gym. I did some cardio and abs. When I got home I showered and examined myself in the mirror, shirtless. Not too bad. My body is resilient. Eat eat eat, work out once... back to normal. But I've been eating substantially less portions. Food no longer excites me... I have become picky with food and boys.

It's interesting how I let projects linger.
Like an unfinished painting, my life has become just that.
MoAny bought me frames and a shelf for me to decorate my room and the materials have been hiding under my bed and desk for months. I know what needs to be done, but something keeps me from proceeding.

I must overcome this obstacle. I must become something that I am proud of... Nick (who is going to NY to persue his dream at a culinary school), in a drunk state reminded me that I was meant to do great things. And that I just need to find that place where I belong and complete that piece of me. I have the tools... I should get to work. And it starts with putting pictures on my wall before the materials that were handed to me gather too much dust.

pimp myspace - Gickr

2 comments:

HAI HUYNH said...

Actually, in a study performed (not too long ago) by UK researcher found that people who are overly organized or are obsess about organization are less productive. The reason is, those people tend to be so preoccupied about everything being in its rightful place that they lose focus completing the task.

nick said...

wow. to be honest, i don't remember that conversation at all. but i want to say that to you every time i see you.

my last goal before leaving for nyc is to organize my room. and clean out the clutter. i feel like it'll help me start off w/a blank slate.