Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Not Enough Gel in the World to Keep My Hair Down

I have been having trouble styling my hair in the morning. It's too long to wear up, so I just push it down, either to the side or in the center to make a roof over my large forehead. MoAny says I look like Milou (my dog) when I wear my hair down. I think my struggles with my hair styling is caused by some sort of inner turmoil that I am dealing with.

I'm trying different products, using different tactics, like showering at night, blow drying my hair in order to mold my hair to something acceptable; something that matches my shirt and tie. And when I'm finished, everything is in place except for a chunk of hair in the back of my head that stands straight up like Alfalfa from Little Rascals. And I look, ridiculous, like a mess. Like I don't know how to style my hair even after years of obsession.

The last two haircuts that I've gotten weren't really haircuts, but rather hair trims. I was scared of drastic change... especially since I thought I found a cut that matches something I saw in a magazine... but not at all because... it's mine. And because my hair grows fast I can no longer imitate at style that I'm proud of so I do the next best thing: copy something else.

And now when I look in in pictures, I see a big mess on my head that no gel can tame. I just want to shave it off so that I can feel clean. But really, do I want to buzz my hair so that my hair can no longer be an object of my identity (like my girl Christine) or do I want to buzz it because yesterday I saw a cute boy at LaVics with buzzed hair and I wanted to emulate his style and then add it to my hairchive?

But whatever I do, I know that the hair in the back of my head will always stand up, but not like Alfalfa from Little Rascals because he uses gel. My alfalfa is caused by a cluster of three cowlicks that rebel against any product that I use to re-identify myself.

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