Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Why I Don't Like Breasts

On Saturday, instead of going to a Gay Birthday Bash followed by Hunter's in San Jose, my bois and I indulged in some KFC!! Oh it was good. Oh I was full and we had left overs. And we all just passed out in my family room watching project runway until 11pm because our bodies needed to prepare to break down all that oil. Damn it.

On Sunday, I helped my cousin move stuff. She asked me what I wanted to eat. I said, "something healthy.. and cheap!"
She responded, "Togos?... There's a Togos."
"Eh, no.. not Togos."
"OHHH Popeyes!"
My eyes lit up, "YES!"

My stomach is now also lined with New Orleans style oil.

Back to work.. what to have for lunch? Left over KFC of course.
I had a breast for Monday, half of another breast on Tuesday and now I just finished my left overs for my 8:45am breakfast... and I noticed something. Like Fritos from a variety chip bag, the breast of the chicken is always left over. Why?

I came up with some reasons.
Unlike the drum stick or wing, you don't really know when you've consumed all the meat because there are hidden nooks and crannies. AND sometimes, there are non-meat surprises that you accidentally eat. YUCK. There is nothing really to grab and while picking at it you feel very savage. So much work, so much mess... and not that much satisfaction because the skin to meat ratio is off.

Gosh, I hate breasts.

And I've been drinking hot tea so that I don't die. . and a banana too.

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Yesterday, at a meeting, the big boss said, "Ok, we have three issues to deal with." And he held up four fingers. I smiled and looked around. Once again, I was the ONLY ONE!!! No one seemed to register this situational humor!! What's wrong with these engineers?!?!?!? OMG!!! Get me out of this industry!!
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In other news, I have a fan.
He messaged me randomly.. and told me he was a Sophomore in high school. Good lord. I've become a predator that the news refers to when they have specials on "controlling you child on myspace.." GREAT! I reminded him that I'm just a virtual friend... and um... yeah.

I told him to play it cool cuz he's still coming terms with his sexuality. I explained that you really don't find yourself until college, usually and that you should focus on getting into college.

He emphasized that with Myspace and text messaging, the whole school would find out about him in two seconds if he told anyone. How scary. It's like that AntiDrug commercial. "OMG, I was SO high..." and a picture of this girl smoking was sent around through people's phones. These kids have so much to deal with!!! What a wack generation. Soulja Boy, I tell yah.

He drew me a picture: Aww how nice.

1 comment:

dannie said...

omg i love popeyes, i didn't know it was healthy.