Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Is it in His Kiss?

I think it is.
And I guess lately I have been oblivious on how much weight a kiss carries.
And how much value is placed on a kiss.

I found an article on how one kiss could change your life which declares that a kiss "could also be nature's way of filtering certain people from our lives." Wow. And another article which explains why bad kissers don't get to second base stating that "59 percent of men said they've been in the position of being attracted to someone -- until they kissed the person."

And it makes me want to share with you my kissing stories.
Get some popcorn, this should be good.

My First Kiss
She was on the swim team, and I told her I liked her. She said she liked me too so decided to go on a date. It was a double date at Goftland sophomore year in high school. We were waiting for my parents to pick us up and we were standing face to face but avoiding eye contact. My heart was racing because I REALLY wanted to kiss her. The night before I actually looked up instructions on how to kiss. "Turn your head so you don't bump noses... slowly move in." Got it. I wrote it all in a notepad so I wouldn't forget. I was trying to make eye contact.. because that's step one.. but she kept avoiding my look and when she looked at me, I shyed away. I couldn't take it anymore and I just asked... "can.. we... um... kiss?" She smiled, I leaned forward to give her a quick peck and she returned the lip movement.

"Wow.... that was nice... can we do it again?" My heart was still racing. She laughed at me, nodded innocently and kissed me back and pulled away. And I smiled for a whole week; giving her quick pecks in the hallways holding her hand until we made buckets of water because we both had sweaty palms. 2 months later we broke up over AIM.

"The best kisses are always the ones that happen accidentally," but obviously with my note pad, I was planning something. She told me that even though I was ridiculous, she wouldn't want her first kiss any other way! And now.. she's a hot kisser that almost turns me straight.

My Second Girlfriend My First Make Out Session.
Junior Year in high school.
I kept looking at a picture of us we took at Chuck-E-Cheese.
"Why do you keep looking at the picture?"
"I don't know," she was flirting with me because I think she liked me. "...I guess... it's because of who's in it."

We went through the whole "talking" thing and I invited her to a Family function. I got really upset at my cousins so I went for a walk and she joined me. In the park we giggle and joked, looked at the stars. She wasn't shy. She went for a kiss and we made out. "Good lord, this is messy," I thought to myself. Her tongue was EVERYWHERE!

She tried to stick her tongue down my throat, but I blocked it with my teeth. No thank you. But we continued to make out into the night. We broke up after two months... over AIM. Aaron was upset because I just told him that I was "bisexual" and then I got a girlfriend. I told her I was bisexual and she didn't really seem to be affected. At least she didn't trigger my gag reflex.

My First Kiss With a Boy
Senior Year of High school. I was nervous because I met him over the Internet. Yeah, I know, Right? He drove from Fremont and asked me where we could go to hang out. I said, there's a hill behind my house and we hiked. He was already flirtatious with me and we had just met. We sat on a blanket in the afternoon checking out the view. I lay on my back and he gazed down at me. He brushed my hair and breathed heavily. He slowly leaned forward and kissed me. "I really like you.." I think he said. My heart was racing. No longer was I bisexual.

Someone else was hiking on the hill too and he quickly threw a jacket over his head and said, "pretend I'm a girl!!!" 2 months later... we had a rocky break up and I broke his heart. Later he returned the pain. We met up again... and we kissed and he told me... "you kiss differently now." Really? Because of my technique? Because of different emotions?

My First Kiss with Tofu
Freshman year of college. In the dorm lounge we were watching Meet the Parents. I was leaning on him or vice versa. We were comfortable and we were embracing each other. We kissed... and there were fireworks. One of the RA's opened the door saw us and ran away. Oops.

I told Tofu that absolutely NO ONE can compare to his lips. That... I can kiss a million guys (yuck) but there was only one pair of lips that were perfect...

My First Drunk Kiss
Okay. It was gross, it was messy, it wasn't Tofu. I wanted to die.

Where are the Fireworks?
That was a summary of some unforgettable kisses. Kissing is important! A friend of mine told me that he asked the last guy he dated to rate his kissing technique. A kiss says a lot.

According to those websites, "men tend to kiss to gain sexual favors or to reconcile, whereas women kiss as a mate-assessment technique. Kissing is also a way for men to connect with their partners and keep them interested physically." But what about gay men? This is where I feel the conflict lies.

I'm sure to most men of all orientation, kissing is a way to be playful and flirtatious; while partying and playing games. It's really safe... well compared to other things you can do. Making out with random people at parties... that's nothing new. And the action may lead to "sexual favors..." woot!! And because of all of this, I feel as though I don't romanticize kisses the way I used to; wanting that "spark" etc... to determine if they are "relationship worthy." (My biological clock is ticking!!) But rather, I have been indulging in being adventurous and claiming innocent...

I forget what it's like to really be into someone, be nervous around them. It would be nice to go on a date with someone that I'm really into... not sort of into, not because I'm supposed to be into... but because I am into... and get a kiss at the end and see fireworks... but then again....many people have yet to experience that "take your breath away" kiss... and I may be living in some romantic comedy chick flick that rarely paints reality accurately.

For now, I like being "a guy" and being playful and flirtatious... I like being single... I like being ambiguous.... but I need to remind myself that a lot is said about a person by the way that they kiss. Fireworks or not, I better be sending the right message... so I better practice... just kidding... :D

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